Kell's Story
by Tallulah Grammar Songstress
Summary: Kell hates the GGs and resolves to destroy them...but they aren't the only problem in her life. Prequel to Down And Out. OCs, but the GGs are involved. Features sexual abuse.
1. The Situation Is This

Chapter 01 – The Situation Is This

(Okay, I think everyone in this chapter is © me…which is sort of worrying actually. Except stuff like Poison Jam, Noise Tanks, etc, which are © Sega. Please r+r.)

You've probably decided what you think of me. And I can guess what words you're using. Bitch, maybe. Slut, possibly. Psycho, almost certainly. 

Maybe I am. All of those, I mean. I'm not denying anything. All that they've said I did – because I bet they've been talking, they're good at that – all that stuff, it was true. 

I don't know how to make sense of it all. I suppose this is an attempt to do that. 

Read it. Read it even if you hate me, because then you can laugh like everyone else has. Go on. Read it. I dare you.

Kogane-cho. Midnight.

Well, I don't know if it was actually that time. But it should have been.

I was lying awake, ears strained so that the smallest sound made me jump. So far all I could pick up was the lapping of the river far below my window. If I looked out, I'd see it, spread out, dark and inky, moonlight catching the ripples. No streetlights here. The Poison Jammers break 'em all. 

Oh, and there was the other sound. The conversation downstairs. My mum, and him. Whispering sweet nothings to each other. I couldn't pick out any words, but I could hear the tone, rising and falling like waves. 

As long as that went on, I was safe.

I lay flat, flat as I could, wishing I could get up, run away, out into the darkness. And why didn't I? It wasn't like I'd be anything odd. In Kogane-cho kids run away all the time. You must know that. 

Maybe I was just scared to. You saw them, later on, smashed out of their skulls, or lurking on street corners mugging old ladies, or asleep in doorways, or being dragged away by the cops. Whatever was happening to me, surely it was better than that? 

I wasn't so sure, right now, in the darkness. 

The conversation stopped. I lay there, trying not to breathe, trying to pick out all the sounds I could. Go out, I willed. Go to a bar. Go to the station and do some overtime. Just don't come here.

Footsteps.

I heard myself whimper, and immediately bit down on my lip. I was not going to show that I was terrified. 

Coming up the stairs now. 

My heart hammered desperately on my ribs. I wanted to do something, anything, I had to get out of here. But I knew I couldn't. 

The door slid open. A thin line of light burnt itself onto the dark floor.

"Kelly?"

I hate that name. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. 

I lay perfectly still, trying to breathe slowly and deeply, trying to act like I was asleep.

The door opened a little wider. The light was at his back, blazing out around him. I couldn't see his face, but I could picture his smile only too well.

"Come on, Kelly. I know you're awake."

Closer and closer. I squeezed my eyes shut. The darkness hardly changed, except for one fundamental problem. I couldn't see where he was. He could be right next to me – right now – 

I gritted my teeth as I felt his fingers pinch my bare arm. It does not hurt, I told myself. It does not – 

I yelped as he twisted the fold of skin, and heard him laugh. "Come on. You're awake now."

"Leave me alone," I snapped. I wasn't going to beg to him. Ever.

I felt his arms around me, holding me down, and then his lips were on mine. His tongue was damp and muscular, twisting around mine like a lasso. I felt my throat tighten.

He moved away at last, and said, "Good as ever."

I sat up. "Just go away, go away right now, get it?"

"Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. You've forgotten again, haven't you?"

I didn't answer. I knew what he was on about.

"I can see your skates in the corner, honey. You know I'm within my rights to arrest you and take you down to the station right now."

"But you won't, will you? Because you're so desperate for a fuck that you'll blackmail me instead. Some cop you are."

He slapped me lightly across the face. It didn't hurt much. Just told me to shut up right now.

"But you want to be a rudie, don't you, Kelly? It's your own little dream. Dashing around on wheels doing pretty pictures on walls."

I bit down on my tongue as hard as I could, wondering if I'd be able to push my teeth through and bleed to death. 

"So just lie back and play ball." He pushed me back onto the bed, and swept the covers away. Cold air hit my skin. I felt like a dissection specimen, uncovered, waiting to be pulled apart and studied in minute detail.

And then the operation began, and I shut my eyes and said my two-times table over and over again, until it stopped. 

He threw the sheet back over me, and walked out of the room. I lay there, listening to him prowl down the stairs, and out of the house. 

I was crying again, and I hadn't even chosen to. 

I had to get out of here. He was right. It was my dream to be a rudie. I needed to be. I needed something that meant I could leave. Those skates were my ticket out of here. Unfortunately they were also the ball and chain on my foot. 

But I'd be out. Soon. Soon.

Oh, sorry. Am I turning your delicate stomach with this? I never pretended it would be nice. I never pretended _I_ was nice. 

My name is Fuyutsuri Kellaani, though I've been known by lots of others. Kelly, for starters. I'm no age now, but when the story started I was sixteen. 

Although he'd started on me before then. He was my mum's longest relationship. Two years. He and me had been – 'enjoying ourselves' – since I was fourteen. Lucky, lucky me. 

His name was Shiro, and I hated him.

Sorry, I'm getting off the subject. This is an update paragraph, a Kellaani file, as it were. 

How did I look, back then? I had dark hair that came to my chin, deep brown eyes, and skin I never needed tanning lotion for. I was quite tall for my age – well, that hasn't changed – and Shiro told me I was pretty. 

I hated being pretty.

I lived in Kogane-cho, with my mum, as you know, and I wanted to be a rudie. But I wasn't thinking of joining up with the Poison Jammers. Please! Firstly, they're too close to home, and secondly, they're idiots. No, I had my sights set on a different gang.

Kogane-cho feels twisted at night, like the district can't handle it. Benten-cho only ever really comes alive when the sky is dark.

I skated into Genkijomae, trying to act like I knew where I was going. Above me, a lone Noise Tank tagged a billboard. I ignored him. I wasn't looking for the Noise Tanks. 

Lines of light bulbs arched above me, leading to a central platform high above the square. I picked out the line that led to the gate onto the railway tracks. 

Then I gathered speed and sprang onto the side of the ramp in the square. As I ground up the side of it, I leapt, and the square dashed beneath me as I landed on the central platform. Quickly, I found the correct light line, and ground down it. The wall rushed towards me. I jumped sideways, and the lights of the square vanished as I shot through the gate onto the railway. I felt rust on my skin.

I'd done it.

Carefully I stepped back from the train tracks, and leant against the wall. I wondered what I'd do if a train came. Would I be far enough away?

"Scared?"

The voice echoed in the darkness. I jumped.

Someone sniggered, and then three figures stepped out of the shadows. Two girls and a guy.

Like me, they were dressed in black from head to skates. But that was the only similarity. Both girls had their hair cut diagonally – on the left side it reached their ear, on the right, their shoulder, and all three rudies had a diagonal scar going from their left eye to the corner of their mouth. 

"Glad you could make it," said the guy. He was pretty muscular. His shoulders blocked out the light. 

I shrugged. "Why? Did you think I couldn't?"

"We didn't know," one of the girls said. "So many rudies think they're good enough for the Sable Blades when they're not." 

"Your point being?" 

"Relax, people," the other girl said. She was the tallest of the three. "Okay, Kellaani. Now listen up. There's three tests for the Sable Blades. Skating, tagging, and…"

"And what?"

"We'll tell you later. Let's see your moves. Follow me."

Suddenly she dashed forwards, back through the gate into the square. I followed her, hoping I'd practised enough. I didn't want to look a fool. 

She ground along the line of lights, hair flowing out behind her. It was dyed blood red. Then she leapt over the central platform, and onto another light line. I managed to land on the same one, but only just. 

We sped down towards the Noise Tank I'd seen earlier, who was still tagging. The girl smashed into him, grabbed the paint he'd dropped, and leapt onto a telephone wire next to the platform. I followed her, wondering if I should have done something else to the Noise Tank. Kicked him, or something.

She leapt off the wire onto another billboard platform, and waited for me. As I jumped to land next to her, she said, "Not bad. You've passed the skating, anyway. Come here again same time tomorrow night, and we can get going on the tagging."

And with that, she leapt off the platform, and away.

I grinned in the night light. Not bad. Not bad at all.

I got back home pretty late. Mum was sitting in the kitchen, looking sleepy. There was no sign of Shiro.

"Where have you been?" she asked me.

"Out."

She shrugged. 

"Shiro not in?" I said, succeeding in keeping my voice neutral.

"No. Said he had to work. You don't like him, do you?"

I'd never told her what he did, and I wasn't going to now. "Not particularly. He calls me Kelly."

"But you can get along with him, right? You're not finding him hard to live with?"

"No. No, it's almost like he's my boyfriend too," I said coolly. 

I wanted her to take the bait, to ask me what I meant, to listen and to throw him out of there. But she just shrugged again, and said, "That's good. I really want this to work." 

Why didn't I tell her? Well, firstly, Shiro'd find some way to retaliate. Secondly, she wouldn't want to believe me. She wanted to be happy. She'd had a bunch of guys in her life. This one didn't beat her up, at least. Or sleep around. Well, not with anyone who mattered.

Thirdly – I just couldn't face telling her, running to her like an injured kitten. That wasn't the sort of thing rudies – Sable Blades – did. 

I could handle this. Soon I'd be gone. Once you had a gang you could survive. On your own you'd be powerless, but with a gang, the world was at your feet. Or something. 

"Better get to bed." My mum got to her feet and yawned. "School tomorrow."

The next day the sun burst into my room far too early. I wanted to roll over and sleep in – no one would stop me – but I had my position to think of. And besides, Akina would be here soon, waiting to walk to school with me. I didn't want to let her down.

I dressed quickly, ran a comb through my hair, and headed out of the door. Akina stood leaning against the wall, staring out over the rooftops. 

She had dark brown hair, the colour of old varnished wood, and large hazel eyes, edged with shadows. As I walked out of the door, she pushed herself off the wall and called, "Finally. Where were you?"

"Asleep." I walked over to her and we set off down the street. She only came up to my shoulder. 

"Why so tired, Laani?"

She always called me that, but I liked it. It was as far away from Kelly as you could get, with my name. And I liked the fact that someone was close enough to me to give me a nickname. If anyone wasn't close enough and they tried, I punched their face in. 

"I was out last night."

"Rudie stuff?"

"Uh-huh."

Akina sighed. "Did they let you join?"

"I passed the first test. They've got another one for tonight."

"Well done." She didn't sound too happy, and I knew why.

"Look, I promised, didn't I? Whatever happens, we'll stay friends. I'll do tags for you…you can post bail for me when I get nabbed by the cops…"

Akina gave me a shove, but she was smiling. "You're crazy."

"I know it. How're you, anyway?"

"Fine." 

I looked at her. She didn't look fine. She looked miserable, and too thin again. 

"They been giving you trouble?" I said, keeping my voice low.

She shrugged. "There's nothing wrong with it, Laani. They're my family, after all."

"They're a bunch of bastards." I hated seeing Akina miserable. It was like seeing a baby crying, or someone kicking a puppy. 

"Don't be so angry all the time," she said. 

"Akina, they're screwing you up. Why not just admit it?"

"There's nothing I can do," she said, voice resigned. "And if I fight against it I'll just upset myself." 

I sighed. I wished she'd let herself get angry. I was mad at what Shiro did to me, and I admitted it. She wouldn't let herself be. Why not? What was wrong with it?

"Anyway," Akina said, smiling again, "Don't worry about that. Let's –"

"Hey, Kellaani! Who told you the bag lady look was in?"

I looked up, and scowled. Alex Gilbert stood at the entrance to school, hands on hips, her red hair rippling round the smug smirk on her face.

"What's it to you, carrots?" I said as we reached her. "Didn't think you cared much about looks."

"Nuh-uh, that's you, Kellaani." She always called me by my full name, mouthing it out like it was as elegant as a brick. "Take a look at yourself."

She handed me a mirror. Angrily I squinted at my reflection. "What is it?"

"Oops, you're telling me that's how you normally look?" Alex tittered. "Sorry."

"Just give it up, Alex. I'm not in the mood for a fight."

"Well, that's a pity, 'cos I sure am." She stepped closer. "Or are you chicken?"

I punched her in the stomach, and as she doubled over, said, "No."

Alex and I had been fighting since we'd met. I couldn't even remember why, but we hated each other. Always had.

"Leave my sister alone!" another voice shrieked, and I felt someone slap my face. Blinking to clear my vision, I made out Alex's sister, Sandra, or San, as she was commonly known. 

"Get back to kindergarten." I grabbed her hair, which was strawberry blonde, and pulled. San yelped. 

"Stop it," Akina snapped at me. "Leave her alone."

"Akina –"

"You know I hate this." Akina turned around and marched into the school building. I wondered whether to follow her, but then a voice called, "Over here, Kellaani!" and I looked up to see Shar running towards me, waving. 

I let go of San, who stumbled over to her sister, and I called, "Way to turn up too late!"

Shar rolled her eyes, and then returned them to her habitual squint. "You looked like you were doing okay on your own. Where's Akina?"

"Inside."

I could see Shar thinking _wimp, _but she didn't say it. Even if it was true, I wasn't letting other people get on Akina's case. 

"Dash is coming," Shar said. "I think." 

Shar's real name was Shina, but she hit anyone who called her that. Dash had never told us her real name. Don't ask me why. I was Kellaani to them both. Only Akina was allowed to give me a nickname. 

"Hey, Kellaani!" Alex yelled. "Quit picking on my sister, okay?"

I turned. "You gonna stop me?" 

"Yeah." Shar clenched her fists. "You Gilbert girls are a bunch of wimps."

"Picking on my friends again?" another voice echoed from behind us.

"These guys are your friends? You have a taste problem, Jacqueline," I said.

"That's Jay to you, honey." Jay strode forward. She was the oldest of us all, with dark braided hair and long, strong arms and legs that were good for landing punches on people. Like me, for instance. 

"Well, exc-use me," Shar said. "When people can't keep their opinions to themselves…"

Jay shrugged. "It's too early in the morning for this, don't you think?"

"You scared?" I said.

"There's a time and a place, Kellaani. Something I think you've never really understood."

"Go on, you can admit you're scared." I spoke in a stage whisper. "I won't tell."

Jay gave me a contemptuous look, then simply strolled past me to stand with Alex and San. 

Dash came stumbling towards us. "Guys, what happened? What did I miss?"

"Just the normal trouble from the Slut Patrol," Shar said loudly. "Nothing we couldn't handle. We'd better get to class."

As we walked into the classroom, I saw Akina sitting at her desk looking miserable. I dropped down next to her, and hissed, "I'm sorry."

She looked up at me. "Then why do you do it?"

"Why not? It's not like they don't fight back."

Akina sighed. Her breath whistled, and I said, "I didn't make you start hyperventilating, did I?"

She didn't answer. 

"I'm sorry. I really am. I'll try not to do it so much. Are you happy now?"

She smiled slightly. "I guess so." 

"Anyway, I don't dare upset you. You're gonna post bail for me, right?"

"Oh…" She hugged me. "You're just plain annoying!"

When she let go of me I was surprised to feel like I wanted to hang on. I shrugged to cover the feeling, and said, "I know. It's all part of my charm."

Tonight I had another meeting with the Sable Blades. 

The residential area of Benten-cho was humid, and I could feel sweat sticking my clothes to my back. The lights turned everything a dingy orange, and I could smell the scent of a million supper tables. My stomach growled. I'd been too nervous to eat before coming out.

I stood waiting on a low roof. Behind me trains tore past me, rattling as they went. I was clutching a spray paint can, my hand damp on the smooth surface. 

I wished they'd get here. I felt queasy. And throwing up through sheer fear was not the sort of style that was going to get me accepted.

I heard the sound of dashing, and looked round to see the male Sable Blade jump onto the roof next to me.

"Hey," he said. "You ready?"

"For what?"

"Tag the wall." He pointed the one behind us. "X-tra large tag. Fast as you can."

I shrugged. "Okay. Any particular request?"

"Just your own personal tag. You do have one, right?"

"Of course. You ready?"

He nodded. He was looking at his watch. "Three…two…one…go!"

I began. 

The Sable Blades used mainly black in their tags, so I'd decided to do the same. My tag was a long, curved blade running underneath my name. The letters were edged with flame, and the blade was almost all black, with just a little silver put in where the light would catch it. 

It had seemed a lot easier when I'd practised at home, out in the back yard. Now my hands kept slipping on the paint can, the colours seemed wrong, they wouldn't blend, and I kept seeing a million things I wanted to change. But at last I was finished. I sprayed the last line, then stepped back, heart pounding.

The guy surveyed it, eyes narrowed. He looked very serious. I wondered if I should have made it look a bit more individual. Or maybe I hadn't been fast enough.

I tried to shut down the doubt, and watched as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Well…not bad."

"What does that mean?" I asked. "Am I in, or am I out?"

"Oh, you're in," he said. "You definitely passed. No, I'm just thinking…"

"Is there another test?" I said.

"Tomorrow. Same place. Chiyo'll meet you here."

"Which one is she?"

"The black-haired one. The redhead is Jin. And I'm Ringo." 

"Okay. See you tomorrow. Or whenever."

"Yeah." 

I turned to jump off the roof, but then he said, "Wait."

"Yeah?"

"Kellaani…uh…be careful."

I nodded and skated away. I was feeling pretty pleased that I'd passed the next test, but I wondered what the last one could be. Why all the mystery? And why did he tell me to be careful?

I didn't know. I wasn't sure if I wanted to know. But I wasn't going to back out now.

I walked slowly back into Kogane-cho, wrinkling my nose as the smell of rotting fish returned to the air. My house was pretty near to the boundary between the two districts, which I was glad about. I walked quite quickly, trying not to look vulnerable. 

I reached home at last. It was dark and silent. Shiro had taken my mum out to party hearty, I figured. Good. 

I walked towards the door, and yelped as I saw a figure sitting on the step.

"Hey, get out of here!" I snapped.

"Laani…it's me."

Akina was shivering and I could hardly make out her words through the rasping in her chest. 

"What on earth happened to you?" I gasped, putting out a hand to help her up.

She gripped it. Her fingers were damp. 

I knew something not a lot of people did. Akina had a terror of drowning. She never, ever went swimming, or near the river, or put her face underwater in any way. And it had been dry weather all night. 

"Can I come in…" she choked. "I…I came and you weren't there…"

"I am now. Don't worry." I unlocked the door and helped her inside. She felt very small and nervous next to me, and she was wet all over.

Putting on the light, I looked her over. Her hair was soaked, sending dribbles of water over her already saturated clothes. Her eyes were red and tearstained, and her shoulders shook with coughing.

"I'll get you some of my clothes," I said. "You can't keep those on. Mum's out, so don't worry about keeping quiet."

She nodded. I dashed upstairs, grabbed clothes and a towel, hurried back down again. "Get changed and dry off your hair."

I went over to the kettle and began boiling some water. Akina peeled off her sodden dress and dropped it on the floor. Underneath it her skin was shiny with water. She flung the towel over her shoulders to take off her underwear. I suddenly realised I was staring, and quickly turned my attention back to the kettle. 

When I turned back again, she was wearing a T-shirt and jeans of mine which hung baggily on her bones, and her hair was wrapped up in the towel. I smiled in spite of myself, but she didn't look upset.

"Can you breathe okay?" I asked her. 

"Yes." She still sounded husky. "If I don't need to run I'll be fine."

"Here" I handed her a cup of hot chocolate, and pouring one for myself, said, "What happened?"

Akina shrugged. "Just stuff."

"The family?"

"Of course."

I sipped my chocolate, and burnt my tongue. Blinking back tears of pain, I said, "Do you want to tell me about it?"

"I don't know. I don't want to talk about it, but…" She stopped.

"Okay. Twenty Questions. Did they put a bucket of water on top of the door?"

"No."

"Did they push you in the river?"

I saw her hands tighten on the mug. "No."

"Did they attack you with a hosepipe?"

"They knew I was scared of water," Akina said quietly. "They filled the sink, and shoved my face in it."

I could imagine how terrified she'd have been. I took her hand, feeling her trembling. 

"They kept splashing me," she said. "They kept telling me I was dirty, that I needed to have a good bath for once…I never take one when they're in the house, they'd come in and do something like that again."

She was crying now. "You know that, Laani. I've never done anything to them. Why should they hate me just because we have different parents? Why?"

She was starting to struggle for breath again. I hugged her, stroking her back, trying to get her to calm down. Gradually I felt her start to breathe normally again.

"They're just jerks," I said slowly. "You hear me? They're just pigs to you because they're jealous of such a wonderful, kind, clever person. They give you any more trouble, you come to me and I'll look after you."

"Thanks." She rubbed one arm across her face, smearing tears over it. 

"You can stay here for tonight if you like," I said. "Mum won't mind."

"No…no, my parents should be back by now. I'll be safe then."

"Why don't you tell someone what's going on?"

"Laani, they'll slaughter me. As long as I keep quiet they just do it for fun. If I did anything to make them _hate _me…I think they would kill me, they really would."

"I won't let them. If you ever think they're gonna make a move on you, then come over here. Even if I'm not in, my mum'll let you wait till I get back."

"But what about when you're a rudie? Will you still be here?"

"No."

Her eyes widened. "Why?"

"Because I'm not staying living here a minute longer than I have to." My voice sounded funny. Choked. Unreal.

"Why? What's wrong with it?"

I didn't answer.

"It seems okay to me." She sounded angry. "You've got people who'll look after you. Is it just 'cos it's uncool to like living in a nice place?"

I could hear the contempt in her voice. It hurt like she was jabbing needles into me.

"Shiro's screwing me," I snapped. 

"What?"

I looked up at her. She looked baffled. Quickly, before I could get scared, I said, "He. Is. Screwing. Me. Fucking me. Copulating with me. Having sex with me. Jumping my bones. Hopping on the good foot and doing the bad thing with me. Getting it on with me. Deflowering me. Do you understand?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Akina said at last.

"Because I've got it all under control, okay? Soon as the Sable Blades let me in I'm out of here. Then he won't be able to get me." 

"Oh, Laani, I'm sorry!" She looked like she was about to burst into tears again. "I thought – I thought –"

"Forget it, okay? Don't be a prat." I put my hands on her shoulders. "Maybe we've got pretty annoying home lives, but we've got each other."

She nodded. Her eyes were glinting with tears. 

I bent my head, and kissed her.

She was delicate against my lips, like a butterfly in your hands. For a moment she froze – then she just let me – then she pulled away.

"I'd better go," she said, a blush spreading over her skin. "Um – if I could have my clothes back when they're dry – uh – thanks for everything – bye!"

And she dashed out the door.

"Well done, Kellaani," I said to myself. "You really blew that one. You're lucky Akina's not the gossiping sort, or else Alex would have a field day."

I got up, picked up Akina's wet clothes and threw them down onto the radiator. "I'm not a lesbian," I said to them. "I'm not, okay?"

The house threw back a mocking silence. 

"Anyway, it wouldn't matter if I did fancy her. Which I don't. She's not likely to talk to me now."

(Gulp…please r+r! And be nice!)


	2. Battles Begin

Chapter 02 – Battles Begin

(Giga and Data's names are © Noisetank13. Everyone else is © me except Akina's brother. Please r+r!)

The Sable Blades were waiting for me again. Jin and Ringo looked worried, but Chiyo had a smile on her face. 

"Okay, Kellaani," she said, "It's time for your last test. Are you ready?"

"I guess so."

"Right. Get your skates off."

"Huh?"

"I said, Get. Your. Skates. Off. What part of it don't you understand?"

"I'm not taking my skates off until you tell me why."

"Because if you don't, you'll fail the test."

Angrily I bent down to undo them. Once I'd got them off, Jin picked them up and said, "I'll look after them, Kellaani."

"Come on," Chiyo said. "And keep up."

She leapt off the roof and began skating towards the entrance to the station. I followed, the ground scratching my feet. Her hair was jet black. It had been coiled up into an elegant knot tonight, and secured with two rusty skewers. 

Inside the station the lights dazzled me. It was pretty late, and there was no one on the platform but us. On both sides the tunnels stretched away from us like empty eye sockets. 

"Okay…" Chiyo looked at her watch. "Five minutes. Let's get moving."

Ringo looked really uncomfortable now. "Kellaani…uh…this is your final test…uh…a test of courage and endurance…"

"If you pass this," Jin said, looking guilty, "You'll be an associate Sable Blade. If after one month in the gang we're satisfied with you, you'll be given the scar, and be a proper Sable Blade, and we'll show you our HQ."

"Do you accept the challenge?" Chiyo asked. 

"Of course I do."

She had a small, teasing smile on her face. "Okay. You see down there?" She pointed to the rails. 

"Yeah."

"There's a gap between the edge of the platform and the rails. Lie down there. There's a train coming in –" She looked at her watch again. "Three and a half minutes."

"Are you fucking crazy?" I yelled. "I'll be squished!"

"No, you won't," Jin said. "Honest. If you scrunch yourself up next to the wall, you'll be fine."

"The only danger," Chiyo said, "is that the vibrations of the train can sort of throw you into its path. One guy lost an arm because of that." 

I stared at them, wanting to run, but unable to. Because if I did, I'd be passing up my only chance of freedom. 

"Two and a half minutes, Kellaani." 

I swallowed.

"Down between the wall and the rails, did you say?"

"Uh-huh. Oh, and by the way," Chiyo said. "If you scream, you've failed. The Sable Blades don't want cowards."

I bit back a retort and sat down on the edge of the platform, letting my legs dangle over the side. Then I slid forward. 

The ground was coated with sharp stones which dug into my legs as I knelt. Quickly I lay flat. On one side was the wall of the platform, white painted bricks. On the other was the thin shining rail.

"The live one is in the middle." Jin's voice sounded far away. "So you won't get electrocuted."

"Shut up, Jin!" Chiyo snapped. "She's not supposed to know that."

"Thanks," I called. Stones dug into my back. Above me was the dark roof of the station.

And from behind me, still quite far away, I could hear the growling of a train.

I bit down on my lip, tried not to panic, and lay as close to the wall as possible.

The ground was starting to vibrate, just a little. My hands were damp with sweat. The rail next to my arm looked suddenly horribly close. 

Silence from above. Had they run away and left me? 

I wondered what I would actually do if I lost an arm. Or if I lost a leg. Or if I got sawn in half – no. 

Now I could hear each individual clatter of the train. It echoed in the tunnel. My stomach ached. I wanted to get out of here. I had to.

But I couldn't.

It sounded so close now. How far away could it be? The noise covered me like water.

And then it was rushing past, light dazzling me, air snapping over my skin, I could feel the ground shaking, I dug my fingers into the stones, I was flung into the platform wall by the impact, it was too close, power and strength and danger less than a foot away…

And it was gone.

I lay there, my heart pounding so loud I couldn't think.

"Kellaani!" Jin called. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," I managed to say. I stood up and clambered back onto the platform, brushing the stones off me with shaking hands. 

"Well done," Chiyo said. "You're an associate Sable Blade."

I grinned, but I couldn't speak.

"Meet us tomorrow and we'll go tagging together," Ringo said. "You look deadbeat at the moment."

I shrugged. "If you say so. Can I have my skates back?"

Jin handed them to me and I put them on, feeling flecks of stone on my feet. 

"We made you take them off," Chiyo said, "because if we hadn't, and you'd lost a leg, we'd have lost a good pair of skates."

I studied her face, wondering if she was joking or not, but her dark eyes seemed perfectly serious.

"Whatever," I said at last. "I'm off home."

It was hard to walk because my knees kept knocking together. I made my way back down the street, and about halfway home suddenly reaction set in and I had to stop and lean against the wall to wait for the shivering to stop. 

But in another month, if all went well, I'd be able to leave the house forever. A spark of joy kindled in my mind. I'd done it.

I got home at last. The lights were on.

I crept past the kitchen, and then the door flew open and Shiro looked out at me. "And where do you think you're going?"

"Upstairs. You should know where that is, right?"

"I'd like an explanation of where you've been tonight."

"Out. In Benten-cho."

"Leave her alone," my mother called. "She's not doing any harm."

"Just a minute." Shiro pulled the kitchen door shut, and said, "Nice footwear, Kelly."

"They're called skates. Have you heard of them?" I was desperately trying to think what his game here was.

"You've been out being a rudie, haven't you."

"So what if I have? Our deal is you keep your mouth shut about that." 

He didn't answer. Instead he gripped my arm and dragged me out of the house, calling over his shoulder, "We're just going for a walk."

His car was parked on the kerb. He opened the front passenger door, shoved me inside, and then climbed into the driver's seat. There was a click as the central locking was reactivated. I swallowed and forced my face to remain still and untroubled.

We began to drive.

"I know a lot about rudies, Kelly," he said. Light from windows around us passed over his face. It was calm. Normal. A good cop's face.

"I know how they paint. I know where they get their skates from. I know why they join particular gangs. And…" We turned a corner and the light vanished. His voice came out of the darkness.

"I know why they leave home, Kelly."

"Well, would you believe it? A cop who actually knows something about his quarry."

"Am I right in thinking you're starting to begin your criminal career by joining some group?"

"I'm not telling you anything,"

"Very well. I'll speculate. I think that you're going to join a gang, presumably by completing a series of tasks. I think that you are then going to seize the opportunity to leave home. I think that the next time I will see you, therefore, is when I or one of my colleagues arrests you. And that will happen, sooner or later."

I kept my mouth shut. If I spoke, I'd scream at him. I didn't know what he was leading up to, but I knew he wasn't doing this for the good of my health.

"I am not about to let that happen, Kelly. You will remain at home with your mother and me."

"Like hell I will." I'd meant to stay silent, but I was relying on the thought that soon I could leave. He wasn't going to take that away from me. "You can't stop me running, can you?"

"Can't I?"

"No. You can't. If I want to go, I'll go. You can't lock me in the house."

We screeched to a halt. 

"Take a look out of the window, Kelly."

I did so, and my stomach clenched coldly as I realised where we were. 

We'd stopped outside Shibuya-cho police station. Shiro's place of work. I looked at him, and found myself shivering. 

"Choose, Kelly. You can either stay at home, or I can arrest you and take you in there right now."

I didn't answer. 

"I know the rudies, Kelly. I know the gangs. If you disappear, I can claim that you need to be brought back. You could be a murderer, or a thief. I could make you into whatever's convenient for me. You can't hide in Tokyo-to forever. Even if you leave town, someone can be dispatched to bring you back."

"You're forcing me to stay home. And if I don't, you'll make everyone look for me, and arrest me on trumped-up charges."

"That sounds like a pretty good summing-up. But it's only because I care for you."

I felt my hands rising to hurt him, and I forced them back down again. "I hate you," I hissed. 

"Just think about what I've said."

I slumped down and let him drive me home. 

I wasn't going to let him stop me, I thought as I climbed out of the car. Somehow, I'd get away from here. 

I remembered Akina. Damn. She wanted me to stay too. Despite the fact that she didn't appear to be talking to me. Well, I'd find some way round that. I was not going to let Shiro stop me. I'd just have to bide my time. I had a month to think up something.

I undressed in the dark, and got into bed, but I didn't sleep. Lay there, trying to see some way out of all this. But no luck. At the moment I seemed trapped.

The next morning I woke up and didn't want to. I wondered whether to play dead and avoid school – and Akina – but that would mean Shiro could get to me more easily, and I wasn't letting that happen.

She wasn't waiting for me.

I felt sadness open up inside me like ice breaking. 

"See if I care," I muttered to myself. 

At school Alex made the normal snide remarks. I ignored her. I had other things to think about. 

Akina didn't sit next to me. In fact, she sat on the other side of the room. How could I have been so dumb to kiss her? I'd obviously totally freaked her out.

During break I saw Akina slink back inside. Quickly I followed her. She was heading down the corridor to the library.

"Hey, wait up!" I called.

She didn't. I hurried to catch up with her. "Akina, look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"All right, Kellaani," she said quietly. "Now please leave me alone."

While I was struggling with that one, she increased her pace and shut the library door behind her.

Tears rose up behind my eyes. Shiro was the only other person who could make me cry, and that was tears of fury. 

I quickly hurried into the girls toilets, and tried to stop crying. Eventually, when my eyes had got less red, I sauntered back out into the playground. 

Even as I batted back Alex's insults, my mind was humming.

_I am not a lesbian. I am not._

Oh, yeah? Prove it.

I just know I'm not. Akina's my friend, that's all, and I just want someone to be nice to me, and I'm probably turned off men because of Shiro, and…

Then why did you cry? No one's ever made you cry like that before.

I don't know. Maybe it's early PMT or something. But I'm not a lesbian. For one thing…I looked at Shar, who'd just tripped San up, and at Dash, watching and sniggering. _If they find out, I'll be screwed. And if Alex finds out, I'll be toast._

At the end of the day I planned to march straight home. I didn't want to run into Akina again. But as I headed towards the gates, I saw three figures there that made me think differently.

Akina's siblings. The ones who'd made her run out to my house. They stood there, leaning on the wall, watching us walk out, waiting. 

Akina's family life was…confusing. Her mother and father each had kids from a previous liaison, and she was the only one that belonged to both of them. And her step-siblings had taken exception to this.

I looked around. Akina hadn't come out yet. When she did, they'd pounce. 

I may as well lurk for a bit. 

Her brother had dull brown skin. Taller even than me, he was attracting some stares and whispers from girls as they passed him. He was cute. Weird, granted – after all, it's not every guy you see wearing gold glasses like bug eyes, combat shorts, and very little else – but some would say that was all part of his charm. 

I wouldn't. I'd heard Akina's descriptions of him. Now I wanted to go punch him. I wanted to find out what he was scared of and shove it in his face. I wanted to squash him into the dust and make him feel small for once in his stupid, bullying life.

He was Akina's dad's son.

Her two sisters were her mother's daughters. They weren't twins – they had a year apart, I think – but they looked pretty alike. They had hair the same colour as Akina's, but their eyes were a cool blue and they were tall as well. From what she'd told me, I knew they worked well together. Against her.

I heard footsteps, and looked round to see Akina walking towards us. Then she saw her siblings, and stopped.

I stepped forward. "Hey, Akina, come on, I've been waiting for ages!"

She froze at the sound of my voice, and as I came towards her I could practically see her weighing up me against her siblings. I won. Just. She said, voice shaking, "Cool. Let's go."

We began to walk. I could feel their eyes on me. There was anger behind those eyes.

They began to follow us. Akina tensed.

"Got much homework?" I said, trying to break the stifling silence settling on us. 

"No." Akina wasn't looking at me. She kept her eyes on the ground."I have. Tons of maths." 

Her brother stepped around us. "Hey, babe, where're you going with my sis?" he asked me.

"She's coming back home with me. Didn't she tell you?"

I felt Akina's surprise. I'm sorry, I said silently. I know you hate me now, but I'm not leaving you here to get drowned again. 

"Sorry, but she ain't allowed. Gotta come straight home after school." 

"Leave me alone," Akina said suddenly. "Just go away and leave me alone."

Her brother sneered. "Tough cookie, aren't'cha? Fine. We'll see you this evening, honey."

Akina swallowed, but she didn't say anything. She followed me along the road until her siblings were out of sight, then she said, "What are you doing?"

"Rescuing you, whether you like it or not." I spoke harshly. I wasn't going to let her kick me in the heart again.

Silence from behind me. I walked on, kicking up the dust in orange clouds.

"Thank you."

Akina smiled at me as I looked round at her.

"Whatever. You don't want me near you so don't start sucking up. I never had you down for a homophobic, Akina, but I guess you have a problem with what I did, so you can just shove off."

I'd reached my house by now. I opened the front door, and turned to stare at her. She looked hurt. 

"Well? Coming in? Or is this place too weird and freaky for you?"

"Stop it, Laani," she said. "I'll come in. I need to talk to you."

She followed me inside. I led the way up to my room, and as she walked in, banged the door shut behind us. Then I said, "Spill."

She stood facing me. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I really am. I just – well –"

Then she leaned forward and kissed me. 

As she broke away, I forced down the sappy smile that was rising to my face, and said, "What was that for? Experimentation?"

Her eyes widened with misery, and I felt mean. 

"I – I didn't know how I felt," she said. "I was weirded out, I guess…and then I realised I did, well, like you, in that way. I don't know why. I don't know if that makes me a lesbian or if this is just a phase or what."

"Then why were you so horrible to me?" I said. As I remembered her brush-off my voice started trembling. I couldn't believe it. Pathetic or what?

"I thought everyone would hate me once they found out," she whispered. "Especially…"

"I'll have the same problem," I said. "Alex would be merciless."

"Then we'll just have to keep it quiet," she said. "I mean, if you want there to be anything that needs to be kept quiet."

"Of course I do, you idiot." 

And I kissed her again. 

"Akina," I said after we'd broken apart. "I'll have a month before I leave, at least. Maybe more." I explained to her about the probation period with the Sable Blades, and Shiro's threat. 

She looked angry when I told her about the latter, but I could tell overall that she was happy. And to be honest, I wasn't minding so much either. Not at the moment.

That night it was my first tagging session with the Sable Blades. Shiro and my mum were out, so I didn't worry about creeping. I dressed in black again, put on my skates, picked up some spray paint, and was off. 

Jet Set Radio was blaring out Miller Ball Breakers into my ears, and I moved in time to it. All three Sable Blades were lurking at the entrance to the railway in Benten-cho residential area. Jin and Ringo greeted me, but Chiyo just looked me over, then said, "Let's go."

What was with that girl? I thought as I followed them along the railway. It wasn't like I had failed her stupid courage test. 

Oh, well. It was too nice a night to be worrying about that. The air was refreshingly cool, and stars dotted the sky above us like spilt sequins.

We leapt through the gate into Benten Square. "Right," Chiyo said. "Jin, Ringo, you tag the walls. Kellaani, you come with me."

I followed her as she ground up the side of the ramp, onto the central pole. There was a Noise Tank standing by one of the billboards on the wall, tagging it, unaware of us. I saw a nasty smirk spread across Chiyo's face.

"Come on," she whispered, and leapt onto the line of lights that would take us to him. 

I followed, and saw Chiyo leap off the lights onto the platform, and slam into the Noise Tank. He dropped his paint cans, and she quickly scooped them up with one hand. The other gripped the Noise Tank's jacket.

"Don't run," she said to him as I stepped onto the platform. "We can have fun together."

The Noise Tank flipped her off, then tried to leap onto a telephone wire that ran past us, but Chiyo moved quickly. Her skate lashed out and caught him between the legs, and he dropped to his knees with a groaning bleep.

"Let's have a look at you," Chiyo said. She reached down and pulled off his mask. 

He was just an average guy, brown hair, conventional face. At the moment this face was torn between pain, fear and fury. 

"I think I already told you," Chiyo said. "The Sable Blades want this district now. If you value your hide, you'll butt out of here. Go wipe out Shibuya's satellite TV or something."

"Benten-cho belongs to the Noise Tanks," gasped the guy. "And we're not letting you psychos have it!"

Chiyo coolly placed her skate on top of his fingers, and his face crumpled in agony.

"I don't like people who call me names," she said. "And nor do my friends."

And she was looking at me, and there was a clear order in her eyes. 

I stepped forward and kicked him, hard, in the stomach, and he collapsed. "Yeah," I said. "Although to be fair, Chiyo, he hasn't really got much else he can do. He's not exactly a fighter, is he?"

Chiyo looked impressed. "No." She reached down and pulled his head up so he had to look at her. "Now, the question is, do we let you run home and tell your geeky buddies what happened? Or do we leave you here for them to find?"

The guy didn't answer. I thought I could make out tears in his eyes. A cocktail of feelings swelled inside me – guilt, nervousness, but underneath that, an odd sense of pleasure.

"I think we let you have a little rest," Chiyo said, and raised her foot again, and her skate flew towards his head –

"Chiyo! They're – ugh!"

Ringo's voice echoed up from below us. We dashed over to look at him, and saw another Noise Tank catch him on the head with a paint can. 

"Rats," Chiyo said. "Oh, well. Better luck next time, sweetie." She blew the fallen Noise Tank a kiss, then leapt down to join the fray. 

I made to follow her. The Noise Tank groaned.

She'd thought I was cool before. 

Sable Blades did this sort of thing. It wasn't like the Noise Tanks didn't expect it.

I kicked our victim in the head, and then ran.

In the square, the battle was raging. There were three Noise Tanks versus us four Sable Blades, but Ringo was staggering, and Jin was covered in paint. 

"Where's Giga?" one of the Tanks yelled. The voice was female.

"He's sleeping it off up there, honey," I answered, and pointed to the platform.

She rushed towards me, and punched me. The breath was knocked out of me as I rolled back to the edge of the square. Trying to ignore the pain, I charged towards her again. 

"Fight dirty, Kellaani!" Chiyo yelled as she dodged someone's fist.

I caught the Noise Tank's wrist, and twisted it as hard as I could. She shrieked, and hit out at me, but I dodged. 

"What – why does he matter to you?" I said, punching her in the stomach. "Don't tell me you like him. He's a wimp."

She forced herself upright, and hit out at me. "Shut up, you bitch! If you've done anything to him I'll kill you!"

"Same old, same old." I clawed at her face. Her mask crumpled and came off. "He lay up there with tears in his baby-blue eyes, don't tell me you find that a turn on?" I grabbed at her long dark hair, and pulled. She screamed, and punched me. The view rocked, but I hung on to her.

Someone grabbed my wrists and swung me away from her. I turned to see a tall, lean Noise Tank, who stared at me a moment and then slapped me across the face. As I reeled, he caught me and one arm tightened round my throat.

"Are you okay, Data?" he called to the female Noise Tank. She nodded, then said, "But this – this _witch_ hurt Giga…"

I struggled to speak, but I couldn't. He was choking me. With his other arm, he caught my wrists and held them together. 

I was powerless, and I was hating it. My eyes darted round the square. Ringo was sitting on the ground, looking dizzy. I couldn't see Jin and Chiyo anywhere.

"Hey, Gamma," the Noise Tank holding me yelled. "Go see what's happened to Giga, okay?"

"You got it, Omega," a voice called, and I saw another Noise Tank leap up the ramp.

I tried to break free, but Omega tightened his grip on my throat. The view started to blacken. I couldn't breathe. 

"Stop it," Data said. "You'll kill her."

"Oh, and like that's not a good thing?"

"You know I don't think it's worth it." 

"Hey, guys!" Gamma's voice echoed down from the platform. "He's pretty bad. Looked like someone hit him on the head…or kicked him…"

Data's pretty eyes widened. "You kicked him in the head?"

"It might make him smarter," I choked. 

Data hit my stomach, and I tried to double over. Omega kept me standing straight. I made up my mind that if I puked I'd try and hit him.

Suddenly, over the music in my ears, a voice blared out, "A 911 call reports gang violence in Genkijomae in Benten. All police officers report to Genkijomae immediately. I repeat…"

Omega let go of me, and then the Noise Tanks ran.

I rushed over to Ringo, massaging my neck as I did so, and shook him. "Come on, we've got to get out of here!"

Ringo blinked. He didn't look very conscious, but he was able to follow me as I raced towards a truck parked under a billboard. We leapt through the billboard, and stopped in the dark passage beyond.

"Ringo," I said. "Do you think you can reach the railway?"

He shook his head. "I'll…I'll be okay, Kellaani. You get home."

"Where did the others go?"

"We went to tag a little. It'll really piss the Noise Tanks off when they find the main street covered in our artwork."

Chiyo stepped out of the shadows. Jin stood behind her, face hidden in the darkness.

"You left us? Thanks a lot," I said.

"Hey, we achieved something. Anyway, Kellaani, you're a lot tougher than I gave you credit for. The way you laid into that Noise Tank on the platform…"

"Oh. Thanks." Now that the adrenaline of battle was fading I was feeling a bit guilty about that. But Chiyo did think it was cool, and it was nice to have her approval. 

"We better get moving," Jin said. "Kellaani, we'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Same place?"

"Yeah." Chiyo nodded. She smiled at me. "Kellaani…welcome to the Sable Blades."

(What did you think? Please r+r!)


	3. Losses

Chapter 03 – Losses

(I don't own JSR, or associated gangs or place names – they're all © Sega. Nor do I own the names Giga or Data – they're all © NoiseTank13. And guess what? I don't own Garam either – he's © Sega. However, I do own everyone else in this chapter, I think. Thank you very much for r+ring the last 2 – please don't forget this one!)

The next day Akina and I walked to school together, just like old times. Sort of. 

"Okay," I said as we neared the gates. "We just act completely, totally normal. Right?"

"Right," Akina said, and giggled. 

I bit down the urge telling me to kiss that laughing mouth, and carried on walking. Once we got into the playground, I said, "Meet you at second break, okay? In the cloakrooms."

They were out of bounds during break. That should be perfect.

Once there we kissed surrounded by old raincoats and piles of trainers. I could hardly believe this was happening. I wanted to sing, wanted to laugh, wanted to stay just doing this forever…

"Alex? You in here?"

We leapt apart. That was San's voice.

"Who's there?"

I dropped to the ground and started peering under the coats. "It's no good, Akina, I can't see your trainers anywhere."

"Oh, it's you," San said as she came into view. "Do you know where Alex is?"

"I don't know and I don't care," I snapped. 

"Sorreee. Just thought I'd ask." She walked on and out of the cloakroom.

"That was close," Akina said. "We've got to be careful."

Over the next few days we met up wherever we could. But we could never be together for long. Someone always came along and interrupted us. 

Overall, however, things seemed to be going okay. Shiro was working late at the moment, so he couldn't come near me, Akina liked me in that way, and the Sable Blades were actually being nice to me.

We had a few run-ins with the Noise Tanks, but nothing serious. 

Until a week after the first battle. 

We were in the square again, giving it a makeover, when they arrived.

Three of them. They stood tall and angry against the neon lights.

"Well, well, well," Chiyo called over to them. "It's the pocket calculator squad. What do you want?"

"Either you get out of Benten-cho," Data said, "or we kill you."

We all rolled our eyes. I could feel excitement rising inside me. This was gonna be fun. 

"Kill us?" Chiyo laughed. "Really. Sorry, but we're not leaving just because of the threats of the official nerd brigade. By the way, where's your other member? Haven't seen him all week."

Angry silence from the other gang. Chiyo smirked at me. "Looks like your little tap dancing routine on his head was better than we thought."

"Are you leaving?" Data called.

"Nope."

They rushed towards us.

Data was the one who attacked me. I only really registered a white blur, then a sickening pain on the head. I stumbled, and felt myself falling.

Data's skate caught me in the ribs. "Enjoying yourself now?" she shouted. "This is what you did to Giga, isn't it? Fun, right? A real bundle of laughs!"

She kicked out again and again. My thoughts were broken up by the pain. Desperately I tried to dodge her, but it was no good. 

Suddenly someone else grabbed Data's arms and pulled her back. Jin. 

"What's wrong?" I said. "What happened to him, anyway? Did I make him stupider than he already was?"

Data didn't answer. Jin shook her. "My friend asked you a question."

"Well, I'm not gonna answer her," Data gasped, struggling to get free. "She hurt him bad, but why should she need to know that?"

"Is he dead yet?" I said, wondering how badly I could make her crack. "His skull looked pretty thick. Or is he just comatose?"

Data managed to shake Jin off her, then punched me. I managed to keep upright this time. Jin caught Data's wrists again and twisted them, and then I hit the Noise Tank so hard my knuckles ached.

Suddenly my radio blared out practically the same message about gang violence in the square that we'd heard before. Jin let go of Data, and the Noise Tank hurried over to her friends. I looked round for mine. Ringo was grappling with Gamma, and Chiyo – 

Omega had a sharp piece of metal that he was trying to stab Chiyo with. The Sable Blade was dodging nimbly, but I could see blood covering one hand.

I could hear sirens echoing in the streets around us.

Data, Gamma, Ringo and Jin started to scramble. Omega didn't.

He lunged out, and the metal sank deep into Chiyo's side.

I think I screamed. Omega laughed, and flung the bloodstained metal to land at my feet. "Sorry, blackie. We did warn you."

Then he raced away.

"Kellaani, move it!" Jin yelled.

"You go on!" I replied. Then I rushed over to Chiyo. She'd dropped to her knees, and I could see her black shirt becoming heavier and damper as the blood soaked through.

"Kellaani, you're…you're a fool…" she gasped. "Run."

"I can't just leave you."

"I'm…I'm going to die…I think…or failing that…have a nice long stretch in…in Sing Sing. No juvenile hall…'m too old…"

"Don't be dumb. I'll help you."

"No…it's all fate, you know…I meet you…I thought you were a wimp but you're not…you're as good as me…then this happens…it's time for me to retire…I got to tell you one thing…"

"What?"

"The thing is…" Chiyo said, speaking faster as the sirens got louder. "If you want…if you want to be successful then…then don't be nice. You're good…you're good at hurting people, I saw. Don't just…"

She took a deep, painful breath. 

"Don't just hit out…don't use physical pain…that heals. Use…use mental pain…what they're scared of…what they hate…what burns their minds…listen, find out, you can learn that stuff when you keep your ears open…you did it to that Noise Tank bitch, right? Then strike. If you want to succeed…"

"Okay, Chiyo. I'll remember." I would have said that to anything at the time. 

"Now go!" 

I got to my feet, not knowing what to do. 

"Is she okay?"

Gamma. He hadn't run. He'd been watching us.

"No, of course she fucking well isn't! Your buddy stabbed her!" 

He stopped and ran back.

"Are you nuts?" I yelled.

"Go! I can't leave anyone like this…"

Gamma rushed back towards Chiyo. He dropped down next to her. 

The police car tore into the square. 

I turned and ran, dodging through people, jumped up the truck and into the billboard passage. From there I watched as two cops ran towards Chiyo. Picking her up, they shoved her into the car. Two others grabbed Gamma. He didn't struggle. They knocked him about anyway.

The car drove off, and the square was empty. 

The Noise Tanks and Sable Blades were waiting on Main Street when I ran out of the passage. 

"Where's Gamma?" Data demanded.

"Screw him, where's Chiyo?" Jin rushed over to me.

"Arrested. Both of them." I slumped down. I was feeling sick. 

"What?" all the rudies yelled.

"Chiyo got stabbed, remember?" I said to Omega. "She told me to run. Then, for some unfathomable reason, Gamma decided to get all Sir Galahad and ran back to her. The cops grabbed them both." 

"You're lying," Omega said. "No way would any of us try and help any of you."

"I can say exactly the same thing, but that's what happened. They're gone. Both of 'em."

"We'll get you for this," Omega said. "First Giga and now Gamma. We'll get you for this."

"I'm so scared," Jin snapped. "Just butt out and leave us alone."

The Noise Tanks skated away. 

"I'd better go," I said. "I'm sorry –"

"Nah, it's okay. Thanks for trying to help Chiyo." Ringo sighed. "See you tomorrow."

"I can't believe it, though," Jin said. She was starting to cry. "Chiyo's never let them get her before…"

Ringo put his arm round her, and I left them. 

I was just about to cross back into Kogane-cho when someone grabbed my arm and I shrieked.

"Shut up!"

It was Omega. 

"Going to stab me in the night, are you?" I snapped.

"No. I just wanted to say thank you."

"For what?"

"For putting Giga out of action."

"Is he dead?"

"No. He's sitting back at our HQ bawling like a baby. Data will have to dump him soon, I'm betting. Then I'll be in with a chance. So thanks, Kellaani Sable Blade."

"You're scum," I said, and dashed away.

I was trembling when I reached home. I kept seeing Chiyo falling. And hearing the choking sound in her voice. And watching a crumpled, tiny dark figure being carried away by two cops. 

That could have been me. If Data had gone for Chiyo, it was quite likely Omega would have attacked me. I could have been stabbed and left bleeding. I could have been driven away in a cop car. I could have been…

Whatever was happening to her now, I didn't think it could be good.

And Gamma had gone with her.

I wished I had. She'd told me she approved of me. I should have stayed with her and I hadn't. 

I remembered what she'd stuttered out to me. Don't be nice. Find their weak points. It sounded cruel. And yet…it sounded sensible.

If I could only find Shiro's weak point…that would be fun. 

And I couldn't deny that it was fun to make people furious and upset. Especially Data.

And Omega…well, he was even more of a rat than I'd thought. Don't go with him, Data, I said silently. Stick with Giga. At least he's trustworthy.

Traitors. Oh, please.

When I got back in the house was silent. My mum was asleep. I wondered if Shiro had been one of the ones called to Genkijomae. 

He'd love it if he arrested me.

Well, I wasn't going to let that happen.

I undressed slowly. There was dried blood on my knuckles and on the knees of my clothes. Data's and Chiyo's. 

Suddenly the phone rang. I jumped, then nervously answered it.

"Hello?"

"Laani, is that you?"

Akina. 

"Yes. What's wrong?"

"Oh, god…Laani, I saw on the news…gang violence in Benten…I knew that's where you'd gone…"

"Why on earth were you listening to the news at that hour?"

"I was sticking with my parents. Are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine. I was involved but…I'm fine."

"Are the rest of your gang?"

I swallowed. "No. One got stabbed, and then arrested."

"I'm sorry." Akina sounded shaken. "Laani, why are you doing this? It's too dangerous."

"It's as risky as anything in life, it's healthy, and I get to find a way out of my current situation."

She sighed, and I felt even more guilty. "Akina, look. I know you worry, but I gotta do this, don't you see? I've told you, I promised you, I'll be careful. And I'll always be with you."

"I know. I'm sorry I keep getting at you, I just worry about you. You know that, right?"

"Course I do. And I appreciate it."

We chatted a little more, then she said, "I'd better go."

"Where are the brat pack?"

"Out partying. I wonder if they saw you?"

"Hopefully not. If I'd have seen them I'd have made sure they got caught up in the gang violence as well. Take care, okay?"

"Sure. Love you."

"Same here."

The phone clicked down, and the house grew silent again.

I turned off my bedroom light and crawled into bed. My feet were cold, and the mouldy river smell was seeping through the air. 

It was a long time before I got to sleep. 

The next day all hell broke loose. 

It started off okay. Akina and I walked to school together like we'd always done. But I was finding it harder and harder to act like just a friend towards her. Wanting to touch, wanting to hold, wanting to…love, I guess, was burning inside me like I'd drunk fire. And I couldn't do anything. Not in public. Everyone knew I was protective of the girl, but there was a definite line which I couldn't afford to cross.

Akina scurried inside as soon as we got to school. I went over to Shar and Dash. 

"Why're you hanging with Akina so much?" Shar asked. 

"She's my friend, isn't she?"

"Yeah, but we hardly see you now."

"I'm sorry, guys." I meant it. If I lost them Alex would make mincemeat of me. "It's just…I really…uh…like hanging with Akina, and you know…"

If only she'd been a guy. Then they'd have understood perfectly. They did that sort of thing all the time. 

"I guess so." Dash sighed. "But we're your friends too, right, Kellaani?"

"Course you are. Don't be daft."

We chatted a little more until we had to go in. I wondered how long I'd be able to keep this up. All the time I'd been making small talk I'd been wondering if I could have made a break for it and gone to find Akina in the classroom, even though I knew it was a stupid idea. It was a weird feeling, not being able to think rationally. I wasn't sure if I liked it.

I sat through the double maths lesson impatiently, glancing at the clock every few seconds. Akina was sitting over the other side of the room still, and I didn't dare look at her. I felt like everyone would be able to see my feelings in my eyes.

At last our teacher stopped talking, gave out the homework, and left. People immediately started to follow suit. I pretended to be extra slow at packing my bag. 

"Laani?"

Akina was standing in the sunlight. It tipped her hair and skin with gold. 

I literally ran over to her. I couldn't remember feeling this obsessed with anyone else, ever. 

"I thought I'd go crazy, sitting there watching you," she said. 

"You too?"

She laughed, and I kissed her. This felt right, this felt good. The heat inside spread through my bones. 

A sharp crash made us spring apart.

San stood at the door, mouth gaping.

"I – I came back to get my maths book –" she stammered. 

I quickly snatched my hands off Akina's waist. "Well, get it and go."

San went over to her desk and picked up the book. She was staring at us both like we'd each sprouted an extra head. 

"Close your mouth, the flies'll get in," I said. "Oh, and keep it closed. I don't want my social life becoming classroom gossip."

San bolted from the room and slammed the door behind her.

"She won't keep quiet, will she?" Akina said.

I wanted to contradict that, but I knew she was right. "No."

"What are we going to do?"

"Deny everything?"

Akina shook her head. "I don't think that'll work. People will still believe."

"Don't worry," I said. "I'll look after you. I promise."

"Look after yourself more."

I hugged her, feeling how small she was, how fragile. She wouldn't last a day against Alex and Co. 

"Come on," I said at last. "Let's go face the music."

We walked into Chemistry and the classroom went silent as everyone stared at us.

"Kellaani," Alex said. "How nice to see you!"

"I can't say the same." I could feel myself trembling. For the first time she'd got something she could _really _hurt me with.

"You should have told us," Alex purred. "We'd have got the church booked."

"Give it up, Alex. I'm not in the mood." I went over to a desk and slammed my bag down onto it.

"According to my sister, you sure were a minute ago. Begging for it." She turned to Akina, who went pale. "Did she have you down on your knees, honey? Licking away?"

Hot fury hit my stomach. "You shut up," I snapped. "You wouldn't be doing this if it was a guy San had seen me with. You shut up right now."

Alex widened her eyes. "I'm sorry, Kellaani. I just don't want you corrupting Akina's innocence, okay? I mean, screwing in an empty classroom, shame on you."

Akina had let her head drop now. I could see tears shining on her skin.

"What did you do, Kellaani?" Alex came closer. "I mean, are we talking chocolate body paint here? Whips? Taking each other across Mrs Naganumi's desk?"

I punched her so hard it hurt my hand. Alex shot back a few feet, blood oozing from her nose. I didn't wait for her to get up, I just started kicking out, feeling sick as I did, yearning to wipe out this situation, no, yearning to go back in time and not start kissing after Maths…

Jay and San threw themselves into the fray, but for the first time ever, Shar and Dash just sat there. And afterwards, even when our science teacher came in and they had to get the caretaker to drag me off Alex, even after that, the two girls who'd said they were my friends turned away from me and talked among themselves.

During Biology that afternoon I tripped Alex up when she went to write something on the board. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

Chiyo said find their weak points. She was right. Punching Alex in Chemistry may have made me feel good, but it hadn't done anything. I needed to hurt that girl, show her what it felt like to have someone rip the things you loved out of your soul.

Think, Kellaani, think. How could I really hurt her? 

"Will you pair up and get on with the experiment right now!"

My biology teacher's voice knocked me out of my thoughts and I looked round. Everyone else was paired up and Akina wasn't there. I had a feeling she'd run out, and the thirst for revenge strengthened in my stomach.

Hang on. Not everyone was paired up. San Gilbert stood there, a nervous smirk on her face.

"Come on, Sandra, Kellaani, get started."

"Oh, do I have to go with her?" San pleaded. "I don't feel _comfortable_ with it…"

Someone tittered. I tried to ignore it, and said, "Geez, San, you don't think I'd make a move on you, do you? It's not like you're attractive or anything."

San sneered at me, but she walked over to the bench and started setting out the equipment. Alex was a few benches away from us, working with Jay. 

Suddenly I realised what I could do.

I set out a dusty benchboard, test tubes, Bunsen burner, then handed San the box of matches.

"Light it, baby."

And I knew what I'd remembered was right, as San dropped the matches and said, "No. No, I won't."

"What, are you scared?" I took out a match and lit it. Then I held it up, close to San's face. I heard her whimper. Suddenly she sounded very young.

The light flickered in her eyes. I said, "What, are you scared I might do something? Something nasty?"

"Put it out, Kellaani," San said, not even trying to hide her fear. "Get it away…"

I blew out the match before it could burn my fingers. "Come on, Sandra. Someone's got to light the Bunsen, haven't they?"

"I won't do it and you can't make me!" The words snapped out like breaking plastic.

I lit another match. Yes, the memory was growing stronger now…Alex and Jay and San smoking round the back of the bike sheds…San cringing back as Jay flicked her lighter on and off, on and off…And Alex saying, nervously, "Stop it, I don't like it either…"

Gently, I passed the match across San's line of vision. "Nice, isn't it?" I said. "And so small. It could leap, you know. Onto your hair. Onto your clothes. Burn you all up. It hurts a lot, to be burnt alive. I've heard, anyway."

"Stop it!" San's voice shrilled out into the classroom. "Stop it! _Stop it!"_

"Leave her alone!" Alex came hurrying towards me. 

"Then leave me alone," I said. "I mean it, Al. Quit getting at me and Akina, and I'll stop giving your little sis nightmares." I brought the match nearer to San's hair. 

"Fine, I won't get at you," Alex snarled. "Just stop that. Stop it right now."

I blew the match out as it burnt my fingers. Trying to ignore the pain, I said, "Cool. Glad that's all sorted out. Now, shall we get back to biology?"

There was hate in Alex's eyes. It startled me. I'd never seen her look that furious before. 

My hands were shaking as I put down the matchbox. I didn't understand what had happened. I hadn't thought I could pull that off, but I had. Somehow. 

I caught my reflection in the window, streaked with dribbles of rain. My eyes looked very dark, almost hollow. But I'd done it. I'd got Alex off my back at last.

After Biology was History. As usual, I dozed in my seat by the window. 

Akina had come back into school. She sat there, red-eyed, giving me the occasional miserable smile. 

Alex wasn't there now. 

And Shar and Dash still weren't talking to me. They chatted loudly together, backs turned. I didn't want to open myself to rejection. They were my friends. Or had been. Why do something to underline the point that they weren't any more?

Outside the rain was falling harder. I stared down at the drenched street, speckled with mud. Kogane in the rain. Just great. And I'd have to walk home in it.

There was a damp figure running down the street, hair blood-coloured and dripping. 

What was Alex doing?

If I'd got her to run out, that was a first for me. And it paid her back for doing the same to Akina. 

I grinned. Don't cross me, bitch. I'm not letting you grind me down. I'm not letting anyone grind me down. Not you. Not Shar and Dash. And _definitely _not Shiro.

Alex crept back in five minutes before the end of the lesson, soaked to the skin. She didn't offer an excuse and none was asked for. 

As the lesson finished and we began packing our books up, San yelled, "Gonna stay behind and play hunt the pussy again, Kellaani?"

"Burn in hell, Gilbert." I emphasised the first word.

San walked over and picked up my history textbook. She flipped through the pages, and said, "No lesbians in here. Shame. Maybe we should tell the school that there's an unrepresented minority in our class."

"Give it back and grow up."

"Come and get it." She waved it and swung her hips.

I ran over, slapped her, and tried to grab the book. San turned and ran out of the classroom. I followed, not caring so much about the book, more about not letting her win. 

I finally caught up with her outside the geography classroom and wrested the book back. San sneered at me, then dashed away.

I walked back up to the history classroom. It was empty. A little hurt that Akina hadn't waited, I picked up my bag and set out into the rain.

The playground was empty. Geez, couldn't she have even said goodbye? It wasn't like we'd rowed or anything.

I shivered in the cold, damp air – and the shivering seemed to unlock something in my brain, and I remembered with horror Alex's words. 

_I won't get at you._

You.

No mention of Akina. 

San's timing had been very good, just now. She'd decoyed me out of the classroom – and when I'd got back Akina had been gone. 

And where exactly had Alex run to during history?

I was standing there, trembling, when San rushed up to me. 

"Message from Alex," she said. She was trembling too. "She's taking Akina for a swimming party along with her brother and sisters."

I stared at her, hardly able to take it in. "You're making this up. Stop it."

"I'm not…" San didn't look too happy. "Look, I hate you, but I don't mind Akina…and I'm scared…Alex is really mad about that fire trick. And everyone knows Akina's sisters are psychos."

"Where are they?" I shouted.

"The river, where else? Near the entrance to the sewers."

The history book dropped from my arms, and I ran. San followed me, splashing through the puddles.

"Alex wanted you to know…" she gasped.

"She told you to steal my book, right?"

"Yes."

"Then move it. I don't know what she's planning, but it ain't gonna be good."

Kogane River runs all around the north-east edge of Tokyo-to, but most of the district is built high above it. There's only one point where you can actually get into it without plummeting. 

I ran down the steps, nearly slipping on them, and faced the sight in front of me.

A cluster of people. Akina's siblings. Alex. Akina herself. Everyone was covered in rain, but Akina was drenched. 

There was a splash, and I saw Akina's bag begin to sink in the water. 

Red fury rose in front of my eyes. I ran forward, and shouted, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Alex turned. Her eyes gave me a shock. They were determined, gritted teeth, I'm-not-giving-up eyes. 

"Hey, Kellaani," she said. No laughter in her voice now. "I'm showing you you're not the only one who can play the fear game."

Akina was shaking. Her chest rose and fell in quick, nervous breaths. 

"Let go of her right now," I shouted.

"Make us, babe." Her brother was holding one of her arms, one of her sisters the other. 

"I'm glad you've turned up," Alex said. "Now you can watch the fun."

There was no gloating in her words. She was as furious as I was, I realised.

"Akina, baby, have another swim," she said. 

Her siblings flung her forward. I heard Akina sob, the sound catching in her throat, and then she hit the water. They gripped her arms as she sank and rose again. 

It was deep there. When they dragged her up she was crying, not caring that we could see. 

I felt tears in my own eyes, and quickly blinked them away. I had to be strong. I rushed forward, and hit out at Alex. 

It was one of my most pathetic charges ever, and I'm not surprised it failed. Akina's other sister caught one of my arms, Alex grabbed the other. She twisted it up behind my back, and said, "Take a look, Akina. Your girlfriend's come to rescue you!"

Akina looked at me, and tried to speak, but she couldn't get enough breath. 

"Let go of me," I shouted, trying to twist away. "And let go of her, she can't breathe!"

"Can't she? Oops, I don't see how that could have happened." 

I heard the same tone in Alex's voice that I'd heard in Data's when she'd been kicking me. Hurt. And deep, deep fury.

They pushed Akina to her knees, and shoved her face in the water. Akina struggled, but I could see it was no good. I fought against the hands on my wrists, my throat tightening from rage and fear. I had to help her, I had to…

They dropped her on the soaked concrete, and she lay there, coughing and choking like a fish out of water. I saw her chest leap and fall again, I heard her struggling to find air, I remember her hands convulsing against the ground as she gasped.

She coughed, a deep painful sound that echoed round the alleyway.

"What's wrong with her?" Alex sounded shaken now. 

"She's bloody well got asthma, you stupid cow!" I screamed. "Let go of me and do something!"

They did, and I dropped down next to Akina. There was a terrible wheezing sound coming from her throat, and my heart stopped a second as I saw that her lips were blue.

"Is there anything we can do?" Alex said. "Doesn't she have any medicine or something?"

"Oh, sure she has medicine," I snapped. "She has medicine in her bag, which you just threw into the river!"

"Shit!" San rushed down the steps towards us. "What're we gonna do?"

"Call an ambulance!" Alex yelled. "Quick!"

San turned and ran back up the steps to the street. 

"Akina," I said, trying to keep my voice calm. "Akina, honey, it's me. Come on. You're okay."

She looked up at me, but I don't know if she saw me. Her eyes were unfocused. 

"Can't…breathe…"

Her siblings were crowding round her. Her brother looked shocked, but her sisters' faces were impassive.

I took her damp hands, tried to lead the normal Akina out of this horrible, dying thing. I'd never seen her get this bad before. "Sssh…Sssh, it's okay…"

I could dimly feel Alex standing behind me, horror radiating from her. Rain ran down the back of my neck.

Akina choked again and her eyes rolled up in her skull.

"Oh, my god…she's not breathing…"

"Can you do mouth-to-mouth?" her brother asked.

"I'll try…"

I laid Akina on her back, pinched her nose, and placed my lips on hers. Shit, I couldn't remember how many times you had to do it…

I breathed in, and her chest rose, then fell. Breathe in. Breathe in. Akina's hair floated damp and dirty in the puddles around us. Her lips were soft and cold. 

Breathe in. Breathe in. Come on, Akina, bite, take the bait, start breathing again, damn you!

Her sisters had melted away into the shadows. Her brother and Alex stood there still, rain pouring over them. 

Breathe in. Breathe in.

San came running back. "I called them…they're on their way…"

Alex gave a sharp sob. 

Breathe in. Breathe in.

Nothing. 

I felt tears pool up in my eyes again, mingle with the rain already covering my face. I kept on breathing for her, desperately trying to keep her alive. Me kneeling, her lying, both soaked, under a grey sky. 

I don't want to write any more. It hurts to think about this. 

Oh, do I have to spell it out for you? She died, okay? The ambulance came, but it was too late. She died. I couldn't save her. 

I hate myself. I hate Alex. And I hate you, you for making me tell this. I'm crying again. I haven't done that for ages. You better review this. I'm not putting myself through the pain for nothing. 

Oh, well. On with the story.


	4. Strike Back

Chapter 04 – Strike Back

(Thanks for r+ring, people! Okay. Disclaimers. I don't own JSR, Garam, Tokyo-to, Grind City, or the names of the Noise Tanks. I do own everyone else, I think. Now go r+r like the wonderful people you are!)

I walked home from the hospital. I was crying without realising it. 

She had died. She was gone. She'd left this earth and I'd never see her again.

At home Shiro was there. It says a lot for how miserable I was feeling that I didn't care at that point. I went upstairs and sobbed.

When I'd cried so much that my head felt like a cement bowling ball and my eyes stung like they'd got sand in them, I went out again. It wasn't raining now, just drizzling. The sky was still that horrible grey like all the colour had been sucked out of it.

Down in the street the market stalls were uncovering themselves from their plastic sheeting. I walked along without noticing much of my surroundings. 

"Genuine Arabian knives, ladies and gentlemen! Each one individually hand-crafted by genuine Arabian harem girls!"

I rolled my sore eyes. Who did they think they were fooling? Those knives were bulk-bought, cheap, and tacky. The only good thing that could be said for them was that they were sharp…

Sometimes you can feel time pushing you in a certain direction. 

I walked up and made a purchase.

The blade of the knife was about fifteen centimetres long, and glinted in the sunlight breaking through the clouds. It had an ornate pseudo-Eastern handle formed of strips of curling metal. And it was sharp.

I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it. I think I just bought it to show I was angry. 

I set off back home, feeling myself start to cry again.

Later that night the tears stopped. I lay in bed, feeling like I was dying. It had been better when I'd cried. Then it had been like I could feel my sadness and maybe get some relief from it. Now all the pain was inside me, and I couldn't get it out. My face looked skullish, my eyes dark, sunken in and ringed with tearstains.

Because of my feelings I hadn't been listening out for footsteps like I normally did. So when I heard them it took me by surprise.

God damn him, why did he have to come now? Why couldn't he leave me alone? Why?

You could make him leave you alone, someone whispered. 

Heart pounding, I reached out and picked up the knife from where it lay on my bedside table. I laid it down next to me and pulled the covers over us both. I'd have to time this right. If it didn't work, he'd slaughter me.

The door creaked open. 

"Kelly?"

"Yes, I'm awake," I snapped. "So let's get this over with."

He shook his head. "Why don't you smile a bit more? It'd make you look so much prettier."

"Just do it, Shiro." I tried to sound as bored and cross and unenthusiastic as I could. He mustn't suspect. 

He came across to me and I gripped the knife handle. 

Over my body he went, like water closing over the head of a drowning victim – Oh, Akina, I miss you so much…

Here goes. I had to get this right. 

As our mouths locked together, I raised the knife, and stabbed upwards, towards the dead weight of his chest. 

If I hit a rib, the knife would probably snap…

But I didn't. 

It slid cleanly into his flesh. I smelt blood. Dampness on my sheets and on my nightdress. 

Shiro sat up, and stared down in horror at the tacky harem girl handle. "You…"

"Don't ever fuck with me again," I said, and shoved him. 

He dropped off the bed, onto his knees. Blood spattered over everything. My carpet, my bedside table, my lamp. The smell grew stronger. It was a sour, meaty smell. 

__

I pulled my jeans on over my nightdress, then shoved my feet into my skates. I was glad the light was off. The darkness covered everything, but I could see Shiro lying in a pool of deeper black. 

Down the stairs. Light filtered out from the kitchen, and I saw spots of blood dappling my nightdress and on my hands. Very Lady Macbeth, Kellaani. 

Carefully I inched open the front door. It looked too dark out there. But I couldn't stay here. I couldn't. 

I stepped out into the cold air, and closed the front door behind me. 

Suddenly I saw someone dash past me. We crashed into each other. I caught a glimpse of brown hair, frightened face, then they were gone. Damn. A witness. Well, I didn't have time to worry about that at the moment. 

I had to get out of here.

I was heading to the Sable Blades. Maybe they wouldn't put me up, but they were the only other allies I had. My mother would turn me in if she didn't kill me first. Akina was dead. And Shar and Dash weren't my allies any more. 

I reached Benten Square, but it was empty of rudies, Sable Blades or otherwise. By running through the billboard passage I came out onto the main street, where the partygoers were. 

Three partygoers in particular. 

Akina's siblings. 

I couldn't believe it. If only I still had the knife.

It sounded like they were arguing. I ducked into a crowd of people, and listened.

"I don't want to," the guy was saying. "I just don't feel in the mood."

"And why's that, Garam-kun?" One sister smirked. "I sure feel like celebrating."

"Well, I don't. I'm a killer."

"Yeah, right." The other sister shrugged. "We're not killers. They bought our story."

"If Kellaani opens her mouth they won't," Garam said. "She knows we were involved."

"She won't. She's sobbing her eyes out."

"I'm not staying," Garam snapped. "This is sick."

"You were just as bad to her as we were."

"I never wanted this to happen."

He turned and strode off down the street, past me. His sisters shrugged – almost in unison, boy, those girls were creepy – and walked into the building they'd been queuing in front of.

"Hey, Garam," I called. "Wait up!"

I skated after him as he turned. 

"What the hell happened to you, you look like someone shot you," he said, but there was no real feeling in his voice.

"What did you tell the hospital?" I asked.

"That Alex was just joking around, Akina slipped and fell in the water, and she was very scared, that her bag went in too so she couldn't use her inhaler, so she –"

"Okay, I get it." I snapped out the words because it hurt to hear him carry on.

"My sisters seem pretty happy," he said, kicking at the ground. "I ain't."

"Why not? You picked on her just as much as they did."

"Yes, but that was – that was different. I mean, she was just a silly little kid, she just needed toughening up, and she was always sucking up to my dad like crazy…"

I looked at him and wished even more that I still had the knife.

"You could make amends," I said. "Turn yourself in. And your brat pack siblings too."

"I told Alex that she was scared of water," Garam said slowly. "It's all my fault."

"Yeah. So go do the right thing."

Garam looked at me. I wished I could see his eyes. "Rudies don't like cops. Why're you so keen to help 'em?"

"Because I love – I loved your sister and I want you guys to suffer for what you did. That sensible enough for ya?"

Garam shrugged. "So it's not justice, it's revenge."

"Same thing."

"They ain't."

"Fine, then. Carry on living your wonderful life with your mummy and daddy and two little sisters. Forget the third one. Maybe if you get time – if you want a break from all the happiness – you can go put flowers on her grave or something." 

I turned and dashed away from him. 

Sable Blades. I had to find the Sable Blades. But where could their HQ be? They'd always appeared round the railway tracks somewhere. I think they went back there. So that could be my starting point…

I ground along the edge of the bridge over the tracks, then jumped. 

I hit the roof of an unused train with a bone-breaking thud. For a moment I just lay there, listening to the music and voices from above me, then got to my feet and jumped onto the ground. 

It was quieter down there, and dark too. The train cut off my view of Main Street. Rokkaku boxes loomed over me, the hexagons staring out, looking me over. The train was on my other side. I didn't glance into its abandoned windows. That would be too creepy for tonight. A ghost train with ghost people…

I wouldn't be scared of Akina. But if I saw Shiro's ghost I'd keel over.

Suddenly I heard the sound of skates. I dodged back into the darkness as I saw two white figures coming over the horizon. Noise Tanks. 

"Oh, come on, Data, what's with you?" Omega was saying. "Look, they screwed us around often enough."

"Killing is wrong! Don't you get that, you hunk of junk?" she screamed.

"Look what they did to Gamma."

"He did that himself!"

"Giga? If Kellaani had been there I don't think we'd have been seeing so much mercy."

I flattened myself even further into the darkness. My nightdress was mid-blue, my jeans black. Was I dark enough?

"I wouldn't have killed her. She could have killed him but she didn't. But you…I don't want to share an HQ with you, do you hear me?"

"Is it that time of the month?"

Data slapped him. I smirked in the darkness. I hate it when guys make cracks like that.

"Come on, you gotta see how Giga is, haven't you?" Omega said, a reasoning tone entering his voice.

She skated on, past me, ignoring him. Walked round a stack of boxes. He followed her. There was a click, and when I finally ventured round to look, they'd both disappeared.

I shivered. This place was so damn ghostly. I didn't like it. 

And what had the two Noise Tanks been saying? Killing…they'd been talking about the Sable Blades, they had to have been…no mercy…what had they done? 

I carefully picked my way over the stones and began skating towards the area the two Noise Tanks had come from. My skates rattled over the gravel. I kept as far away from the railway lines as I could. 

Once a train came rushing past, whipping my hair around my face and stinging my eyes, but I pressed myself against the wall and I was passed unscathed. 

I kept on walking. Where did this lead to, anyway? I had a feeling I might be starting to walk out of Tokyo-to, and while that was where I wanted to be at present it would be nice to have somewhere to aim for.

I rounded the corner, and gasped. Below me a network of railway lines was spread out, glinting green in the city glow. 

I could just keep walking…never be found again…

No. I had to find the Sable Blades, to check that they were okay as well as to escape myself. 

At the edge of the leftmost railway line, the wall curved outwards, producing a sort of layby. And there was some sort of structure there…

I grinned, and started to pick my way towards it. 

It was completely silent. The city sounds had faded. So had the rattle of the trains. I shivered as the night air passed over my skin like a bird's shadow, and kept on walking. 

Wait…

Someone was crying.

A cold hand squeezed my stomach, and I walked faster.

The Sable Blade HQ was the remains of a disused train carriage, the roof and one wall almost gone, the seats ripped and dirty. I could just make out two figures, one lying on the ground, one kneeling and sobbing. 

The lying one looked all too similar to how Shiro had when I'd last seen him.

"What's going on?" I called. "Jin? Ringo?"

"Kellaani?" It was Jin. 

I stepped into the carriage. It rocked slightly under my feet. I could smell blood, again.

"What's happened?" I said.

"The Noise Tanks…they…they surprised us…Data just knocked me around a bit…but O – Omega, he…he's…"

"Ringo's dead," I said, surprised at how flat my voice sounded.

Jin nodded, and carried on crying. "It was all so quick…I couldn't do anything…nor could Data…"

I put an arm round her shoulders. Her red hair seemed damper than normal. I could guess with what. 

"Listen," I said. "We need to get out of here. Both of us. Omega will come back for you, the guy's a maniac. And I've just – just done something bad and I have to get out of Tokyo-to."

"But what can we do?" Jin looked up at me, tears of light running down her face. "I don't know what to do…Chiyo would have sorted this sort of thing…"

I gave her a little shake. "Well, Chiyo's not here. It's just you and me. Now think. Where can we go?"

"Who are you running from?" Jin asked.

"The cops." I tried to speak lightly. No sense in frightening her more already. 

"If you stay in Japan they'll find you," Jin said, rubbing tears across her face with one hand. "You have to get out of the country…"

"And you? Do you have friends or relations who'd help you?" I tried to speak positively, tried to ignore the chill of fear at the thought of really, properly, going on the run.

She shrugged. "My sister. She doesn't want me living with her but maybe…maybe…she could help me…"

"Okay. Your sister's in Japan?"

She nodded. 

"Then it looks like we'll have to split up. How can I get out of this country?"

Jin shrugged. "Stow away on a plane? Oh, I don't know…Ringo's dead, Kellaani, he's dead…"

"I know, but he wouldn't want you to get dead too. Come on, start walking! Now, do we have any money?"

"The spray paint funds…"

"Right. Grab it."

Jin got to her feet, looking like she didn't know what else to do, and began rummaging inside one of the burst seat cushions. Eventually she drew out a bulging purse. I took it and counted the money. 

Maybe enough for a plane ticket. 

"How will you get to your sister's?"

"I'll hitch…I've done it before."

"So I can take this?" I hefted the purse.

"Yes…"

"Thanks. Have you got anything from here you want to take?"

She shook her head.

"Right. Get me a blanket."

Jin pulled one off one of the wrecked seats. "Why?"

"Because showing respect for the dead is a good thing to do." 

Gently I spread the blanket over Ringo. Blood started to seep through it almost immediately. I tagged the wall of the train. 

_Goodbye Ringo._

And goodbye Sable Blades as well. Another lot of allies gone. Now I was on my own.

I left Jin when I got to Tokyo airport. I didn't know how far she'd get, but she told me she'd be all right. I wished her luck and watched her walk away. And that was that. My last sight of the Sable Blades.

Now, where to go?

I lurked at the airport entrance, uncomfortably aware of the brown bloodstains all down my front. I didn't have much time. Shiro would have been found by now and mum would have wasted no time in calling the cops. They'd be scouring out the local rudie population, seeing as mum knew I was one…and they'd doubtless be checking the airports sooner or later. Shit.

The nearest country I could think of was America. 

And every rudie knew there were other rudies in Grind City. 

It looked like my only option. 

I went and asked if they had any spaces on planes to Grind City. I was in luck. There was a space on one leaving in an hour.

I headed to the Departure Lounge, my hands shaking. I was getting closer to escape. I had to keep calm. 

A quick trip to the bathroom and I'd got the blood off my hands, and made an attempt at getting it off the front of my clothes. Then I went and sat down, and waited. It was pretty late. Not many others were travelling.

As I sat there, my thoughts drifted back to Akina. I felt tears rise up again, but quickly blinked them away. She was safe now, at least. Safe from her siblings and from Alex and from everyone. She'd be all right. 

I pictured her looking down at me, but rejected the idea. She'd be horrified at what I'd done to Shiro, and I didn't want her to be horrified with me. 

Would Garam turn himself in? I hoped so. Someone should suffer for Akina's death. Someone better had. 

Ringo and Jin. Poor idiots. I hoped Jin would come out all right. She wasn't exactly strong at the moment. 

Ringo would be up there too. Wherever there was. 

An impossibly perky voice announced that it was time to board. I got to my feet, yawning so hard my face felt like it would split open. In a trance I walked along a tunnel into the plane, and sat down. I think I was already dozing off when I felt the plane start to move. Faster and faster, and then that peculiar feeling in my stomach as we became airborne. 

I stared out of the window, once. Huge banks of blue cloud lying underneath a black, unforgiving sky. Was I close to those who'd died, I remember thinking. Was Akina watching the plane pass a few feet below her? Did she know I was here? Did she know I missed her like crazy? 

I sure hoped so.

I fell asleep then.

My ears popped when we touched down. The sun was streaming in through the window, hurting my eyes. I sat up, stretched, feeling the sweat and dirt coating my clothes. My feet were hot and tired inside my skates and my neck ached.

We were hustled out of the plane, and I stood on American soil.

Grind City, here I come.

(A/N – I realise that in light of the recent events involving planes and America, this could be said to be bad taste, but it's a central part of the story so I didn't want to change it. I'm really sorry if I have offended anyone and offer my condolences to all affected by the tragedy.) 

NOW PLEASE REVIEW!!!! Oh, and if anyone wanted to see a pic of Kell, go to www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=54304. It's kinda big but hey, bigger is better, right? Right? Oh, well…


	5. Grind City, My Turf

Chapter 05 – Grind City, My Turf

(I don't own JSR. Nor do I own the above chapter title, or the characters of Combo, Cube and Coin. But I do own Kellaani. Oh, and if you have any complaints about my taste in music, keep them to yourself. I don't care if you think ABBA are the spawn of hell, I like them, so play nice, okay?)

The city was huge, and I was surrounded by people babbling in a language I couldn't speak a word of. Okay, I was scared. Well, wouldn't you be?

I wondered what to do. Seemed to me my only option was to try and find if there were any rudies round here. And if there were, then try and join up with them. It didn't seem a totally foolproof plan, but I didn't have the option of acting sensibly.

Cops hate you if you killed one of their own, I heard. And I was a rudie as well. Not cool.

I turned a corner and carried on skating, slowly. The sun was rising now, burning the back of my neck. I stepped sideways a little, so that I could keep in the shade of the railway bridge above me. Mmm…cold.

I turned left and back into the sun, and found myself walking past a wall pockmarked with tags.

Then I had an idea.

I took out my last remaining can of spray paint and began to cover up one of the tags, a geometric skull and crossbones edged with pinkish-red. If this didn't get a reaction, then…then I'd be screwed.

I heard the sound of skates on concrete, and turned to see a black and white figure skating towards me. She yelled something in English.

I shrugged. "Sorry, I don't speak it." Damn it, why didn't they offer English classes at school?

And then, amazingly, she said, in patchy but clear Japanese, "I said, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Trying to get a reaction," I said, wondering if I'd started hallucinating. "How come you can speak Japanese?"

She shrugged. "I was from there originally. It's nice to keep up the tradition. What do you mean, trying to get a reaction?"

"I've just arrived and I need help. I had to get out of Japan fast, and I'd heard there were other rudies in Grind City."

"You're saying you want to join up with our gang?"

She glared at me, hands on hips. She had the sort of face that's good for glaring – it was sharp and angular, with dark eyes and hair, and very pale skin. Her hair was cut short, a lot shorter than mine, and everything she wore was black except the red and grey decoration on her skates, the red tag on her shirt, and her frosted blue lipstick.

She looked _good._

Whereas I…

Well, at least I'd never gone in for lace on my nightclothes.

"I guess so," I said. "Why? Is there a problem?"

"It's not like we know anything about you," she said. Her words carried an undertone of an American accent, and her voice had an odd, almost musical quality that I couldn't define.

"Oh, sorry, I'm a psychotic serial killer who especially enjoys decapitating rudies and then using their blood to paint my tags. I also enjoy flower-arranging and puppy-kicking, and I'm the illegitimate love child of the Queen of England and Batman. That satisfy you?"

She laughed. "Very funny. Well, I can ask the guys and we'll see, but I'm not promising anything, okay? My name's Cube, by the way."

I followed her round the corner towards a skate park, where I made out two figures doing flips on the ramp at the far end.

She called out to them in English, and they both stopped jumping and came out of the park to us.

One guy was big. Very big. Huge, in fact. He glanced down at us from under a fisherman's hat, one enormous arm clutching a ghetto-blaster. I made up my mind not to get on his bad side.

And the other –

I felt like my entire body had just been kicked, like I'd been flung across and slammed into the wall behind me. The light seemed too bright for my eyes as I stared at him, and Cube's English words faded into nothingness.

Quickly I shook my head to clear it and listened as Cube switched back into Japanese. "Okay, they're cool with it. If you can copy my trick run, I'll let you join."

"Cool."

"Good luck, kid," the big guy called.

"You can speak Japanese too?"

"We both can," the other guy said, and at the sound of his voice I wanted to grin like a lunatic. "Cube kept insulting us in Japanese, so we tried to pick some up to get wise to her. It's been something to while away the winter nights with."

They didn't always speak it, obviously. But I asked them what they were saying, and I've written it down as though I could understand it all. I think it's easier that way.

"Come on," Cube called.

I followed her back round the corner and up a flight of steps onto the sun-drenched roof of a building.

"Ready?" she said.

"Yep."

"Okay. See if you can do this."

She dashed a little, then ground along a rail in front of a billboard. Just before she reached the end of the roof, she leapt, and wall-rode off the next billboard.

I saw her fly through the air like a bat, and wall-ride off the next one – then back to one on the left – and one final one on the right – and then she dropped, a smirk just visible on her face.

"When you're ready!" she called.

I swallowed. This was not going to be easy.

I dashed to gain momentum, then began to grind. The gap between the buildings loomed up in front of me, then dropped to below my feet as I leapt. I felt my skates scrape the first billboard, sending vibrations through my bones, and jumped as it happened, trying to throw myself across to reach the next board. It rose up in front of me, and I quickly scored my skates across it. Then I was flying towards the next board, the ground already too far below me – and then I wall-rode and jumped again, joints aching, desperate to push myself to the last board – the tips of my skates just scraped it, and then I let myself drop down next to Cube, trying not to pant.

"Not bad," she said. "Okay. I guess you're in."

I felt dim triumph, but as we walked back to the skate park, most of me was confused. Why had I felt such a strong reaction to that guy? I'd thought I was a lesbian. I'd loved Akina, and I knew I had. What was going on?

But my feelings towards Akina had been very different. There was the urge to just be close. I guess it was love…she was my friend, in any case, and always had been. This was…lust, then? But how could it be?

"What's your name, anyway?" Cube's question shook me out of my thoughts.

"Oh – uh –" I didn't want to have anything to do with my old name. Yet I didn't want to start living under a totally new one.

"Lana. My name is Lana."

"Damn it!" Cube grinned. "If you'd only been called something beginning with C…"

"Why?"

"Our gang's Triple-C. I'm Cube, the big guy's Combo, and the other guy's Coin."

"It's okay. I'm not asking for a name mention." Coin, huh? Hmmm…

We reached the two guys again, and Cube spoke to them in English. I wished I knew some; it was worrying being talked about without even being able to lipread.

"So, why'd you leave Japan?" Coin asked at last. "Can't see why you'd want to come all the way here."

"Oh…it was getting too hot to handle over there. The cops were being persistent and all." I didn't want to mention Shiro. Already he was fading.

"Well, I don't reckon that'll be much better here. Can't say the local Keisatsu regard us with any great joy."

As we began walking back into the skate park, I saw him loop an arm round Cube's waist. She rolled her eyes and pushed him off, then they kissed.

I felt sick.

And now it was night.

Triple-C holed up in an abandoned loft in Bantam Street. It was a big room, covered in tags, spotted with scrounged furniture yet still managing to look empty.

We'd eaten takeaway. Now Cube and Coin were talking quietly together in one corner of the room, while Combo sat listening to rap music on his ghetto-blaster, painted in streetlight and looking like some ancient statue in the darkness.

I sat at the window, staring out over Grind City. Lights were beginning to dot the skyscrapers around me. Everything was so different here. The language. The light. The air.

Odd little memories kept popping back into my mind, nothing important. Sitting in school, trying to work out math from hell. Lying in bed with morning sun on top of me in the blissful times when mum was single. Walking past Kogane River to get home, throwing stones into the water.

The thought of the river made me remember Akina, but I didn't cry this time.

_Akina, I swear…I swear on my life, I swear on this city, I swear on the darkness, I will take the revenge you deserve._

Just wait, Alex. I'm gonna hurt you so bad you'll wish you were dead. You'll know what pain feels like. You'll know how I felt. And then I'll kill you, and boy will that be fun.

What did Chiyo say?

"Use mental pain…what they're scared of…what they hate…what burns their minds…"

My palms hurt as my nails dug into them.

I wriggled out of my dark thoughts as I slowly realised that Cube and Coin's voices were growing louder, and more angry.

"That is just typical of you," she snapped. "Stop acting so damn supercilious all the time!"

"Geez, Cube, lighten up. Why are you so touchy?"

"I'm just tired of you making snide little remarks and expecting me to find them funny!"

Combo glanced over at them, then turned up his music.

"Well, excuse me. You're obviously determined to get mad at me, so I don't think there's much more I can add." Coin folded his arms and looked away from her.

"I'm not determined to get mad at you, I'm just telling you –"

"Telling me what? I'm a bad boy? Well, sorree, but it's not my fault if you can't take a joke."

"That was your idea of a joke?"

"Normally you'd find it funny. What is it? Time of the month?"

Cube slapped him round the face, then stood up. "I have had it with you and your stuck-up, sexist, smug, smartass attitude!"

She stamped towards the door.

"Fine!" Coin yelled after her. "Come back when you're sane again!"

She slammed the door behind her, and the floor shook.

Combo got to his feet and headed after her.

"She's not a baby," Coin snapped. "Let her fend for herself."

Combo didn't answer him. He opened the door, and walked out.

Coin glowered after them, then stamped over to the boxes containing his record collection, and began rifling through them.

Just me and him. And my hormones were really singing now. I still had no idea why. But hey…go with the flow, right?

I slid over to him. "Boy, where'd you get all these from?"

"Places." He still sounded mad.

"Can I see?"

"Be my guest." He shoved a box towards me.

I flicked through it, but I couldn't read most of the names.

"Why records?" I said at last.

"Huh?"

"Why just records? Why not CDs and tapes too?"

"Oh, please." He smiled, and every organ in my body jumped. "Where's the fun in that? Dull stuff…with records it's, it's different. They look cool, don't they? They're like bits of history."

"What sort of music is it? I can't read a word."

Coin laughed. "Indie music, mainly. But I get 'em from a lot of different places, so sometimes you get a few weird ones…like this."

He got out a record patterned with demons.

"I have no idea what this is, but you never know, it might be worth something."

"You ever listened to it?"

"Yeah, but…" He shrugged. "It didn't sound too cool. In fact, it was pretty warped."

"A lot of these look warped." My heart was pounding now as he leaned near to me to put the demon record back. I leafed through some more. "And this one just looks cheesy."

Coin grinned sheepishly. "I have no idea how that got there." The record in question had four smiling people on the front, a yellow background and pink letters across the top. "If either of the other two see it, they'll destroy it and then me. If it doesn't have rude words every other line and a general theme of angst, it ain't music, according to them."

"You played this, then?" I asked.

"Once. It's pretty cool, in a cutesy way."

"Could I hear it?"

"Why not? They'll be lurking out there for at least an hour."

Coin lugged an extremely battered-looking record player over to us, and put on the record. It began to spin.

From the speakers murmured a low keyboard tune, radiating out into the dusty loft and rushing down my spine. Violins rushed in as the intro repeated itself, and then there was a pause.

I stared into Coin's eyes. "Care to dance?"

A chiming, eerie beat leapt out of the speakers, catching my feet in its fingers, making me want to move to it. Coin grinned, though I could hardly make out his face in the darkness. We got to our feet. He put his hand in mine.

"How I hate to spend the evening on my own…"

As the singer held the last note, Coin twirled me round, threw me out into the middle of the room, then pulled me back to him with the flick of a wrist, until I was against his chest. Every part of me tingled. I could smell him, a combination of spray paint, hot dog and skin, and I could feel his heart beating against his ribs.

The violins began again, under the singer's voice, seductive and slow like water. Coin's and my shadows were mingling on the wall, dark against the streetlight backdrop, now separating, marking us as two people, now drawing together again, and making us one.

The music was rising as the singer held the note, elongating it so that it echoed up to the skies. Coin brought me close to him again. And the violins covered my senses with quick, sharp notes, getting louder and louder and moving me without me even having to think…

I kissed Coin. For a moment he tensed, then kissed back.

"What's this thing called?" I whispered.

"Uhh... Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight."

The music rose, then fell again. We separated. I stared at him. His face was lost in the darkness.

"What time is it?"

"Twelve fifteen…"

The keyboard cut out, leaving nothing but the drums going. We stood still, staring at each other. I could see his shoulders rising and falling as he breathed.

Then the singer began again, and he lifted my nightdress off over my head. I wasn't wearing a bra. The darkness was complete now, and I felt, rather than saw him put his hands on my shoulders. He kissed me again, and then his hands were tender on my breasts, warm, it felt like he was touching my soul.

I felt the music begin to rise to a crescendo, and, feeling my hands tremble, I pulled Coin's T-shirt over his head.

His baseball cap fell off too. And then we were hugging again, skin on skin, feeling cool sweat run down my back, as the music urged me on.

****

The violins danced, the music rose higher and higher and higher…Now we were lying down, I didn't know how, he'd unzipped my jeans, and I did the same to him…

And we were close, we were so so close…

The singer cut out. There was just us, the darkness, and the drumbeats.

My body temperature was going haywire, ice and fire meeting all over my skin. It was frightening and yet so good…

The violins rose and fell. Coin's hands on my back, fingers caressing my shoulder blades as they dug into the floor. Poised on a precipice…the highest point of a rollercoaster…the tip of a diving board…the metaphors crowded in on me, but their relevance to the situation was like the difference between reading about fire and feeling it burn near your skin…

Violins rising again, and this time not stopping, carrying me up and up and up…

This was it

****

The music sang out

****

The night burned brighter than sun

****

We were together

****

And it felt like no one could break us apart.

(Be nice. Oh, and by the way, by having this occur I am not implying that it is better to be straight than gay. Kell is bi. And that's that. Sorry.)


	6. Faithless

Chapter 06 - Faithless 

(Woohoo! Merry Christmas…Happy New Year…Umm…or whatever festival is occurring by the time I post this! I don't own JSR, Triple-C, the Golden Rhinos, or Grind City, but I think I own everything else. Please r+r!)

The music stopped, and we lay there, our breathing echoing in the dark loft. 

"Better…better get moving," Coin said. "If they walk in on us…"

I scrambled to my feet, pulling my jeans back over my hips, hands shaking. Throwing my nightdress back on, I watched him dress. I didn't know what to think. What had I done? What had just happened?

"I'm going out," I said. "I need some fresh air."

He nodded, and I hurried for the door. Pulling it open, I picked my way carefully down the stairs, pits of shadow yawning under my feet. The cold air hit my face and evaporated the sweat on my skin.

Out in the dark street, I leant against the wall and tried to think. But it was no good. A combination of arousal, embarrassment and confusion had left my brain scrambled.

A big, stupid smile kept spreading over my face. That had been good. Very good. In fact, too good. 

Shiro had ripped me up using the same method. I'd felt like I was drowning when I couldn't spend time with Akina. What the hell was going on?

And he was Cube's boyfriend, too. 

Well, that didn't bother me. If he wanted to jump my bones, that was his business.

At the memory of it another smile burst onto my lips. Geez, I was acting so ditzy! For once I could really understand the meaning of the phrase, 'he screwed my brains out.' Mine seemed so far out they were already back in Tokyo.

I'd known him less than a day. He could have some sort of disease. And if he hadn't used protection I could be pregnant. You're an idiot, _Lana,_ I told myself. You're a fool. 

I leaned further back against the cold brickwork and tried to think sensibly.

One: Just because Shiro hurt me didn't mean all guys did. The fact that I hadn't been expecting this probably helped, just as the fact that I'd finally fought back against Shiro did.

Two: I loved, always had loved, and always would love Akina. But she was dead. And I didn't think she'd begrudge me happiness. 

Three: I now had no way of telling whether I was straight or gay, so I may as well go with the flow and do whatever seemed best.

Four: Coin was totally hot.

I heard the sound of skates in the night, and looked up to see Combo and Cube walking back to the loft. They didn't see me. I waited until they had gone inside, then walked back up the stairs myself.

Inside a light was burning, turning us all into sharp shadow figures. Coin was listening to some strange melody that bore no relation to anything I'd ever heard, Combo was playing his rap music again, and Cube was sitting at the window, staring out into space, fury written in every line of her back.

At first I thought Coin had confessed, but as I pushed back the door Cube turned and said, with a smile, "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah. Just wanted a walk."

She nodded, and returned to staring. 

I figured it was simply she was mad about their earlier fight. Well, that was good. If Cube found out I'd be on the run again. And that might have extremely nasty consequences.

I glanced over at Coin, and felt myself blush. What was wrong with me? 

He met my eyes, and smiled, and my heart did the can-can.

The next morning the two lovebirds still weren't speaking. 

"Come on, Combo," Cube was saying loudly as I tried to open my eyes. "Some of us actually want to get something done today."

"Hey, Lana, you want to stay behind?" Coin's voice filled my head. "I mean, you don't seem as unreasonable as _some _girls…"

"Uh…" I looked from him to Cube, trying to act upset about the rowing. "Well, I suppose I can, if you want…"

"Oh, that's great, make her stay with you," Cube snarled. "You stay if you want, Lana, but I wouldn't, because this guy thinks he's God's gift to women and they're just there to worship him."

"Touchy, aren't we?" Coin said.

Cube looked as though she was going to say something really bitchy then, but Combo grabbed her shoulders, swung her round, and marched her out through the door, calling back, "See you guys later!"

We both sat there, waiting, as their footsteps faded away. When they'd finally gone, we rushed over to each other. He kissed me and kissed me and it was like gulping water in summer. 

When we finally broke apart, I knew my brains hadn't just reached Tokyo. They were probably heading back towards Europe now. 

"Listen," he said. "If Cube finds out about this – about us – she'll kick you out and she'll probably kick me out too. You don't want that to happen, right?"

I shook my head. Words seemed too hard.

"So we have to keep it secret." He was whispering as he gripped my shoulders. "We can try and meet up whenever we can, all right?"

I nodded. This was the easiest conversation I'd ever had.

Then he kissed me, and then – well, I see no point in describing it all again. Let's just say lofts, records, and Grind City now have completely different associations for me…

We'd just finished when we heard footsteps on the stairs.

We both lay there for a moment, evidently both hoping we'd been mistaken, and then we sort of performed a mad scramble for our clothes. By the time Combo came in, I was staring out of the window, and Coin was rearranging his record collection.

"Uh – guys – you don't have to stay in," Combo said. "We need you out there. The cops have been having another white paint spree."

"Sure, whatever." Coin got to his feet. "But I'm not coming out just to have Cube sling mud at me. Me and Lana'll go do the rooftops, you and Cube stay in the skate park."

"Cool."

We followed Combo down the stairs and out into the sunlight. There he turned round the corner into the skate park, and Coin led me up some steps onto a flat roof. Then we stared at each other, and started laughing.

"It's not funny," I said at last.

"No…" Coin rubbed tears from his eyes. "This isn't going to be easy."

"That never bothered me before," I said, and our shadows merged together as I kissed him again.

The day passed in a love-flavoured haze. As the evening turned into night, I lay looking up at the bare ceiling feeling almost happy. My body grew heavy, and my eyes began to close as I lay there in luxurious warmth. 

"Why did you come to Kogane-cho?" Chiyo asked me.

I walked through Bantam Street. "I'm not telling you. Just because you're dead."

She kicked the side of a bus. "Well, fine, I won't warn you then."

"About what? I know Cube will be angry. I'm not scared."

"You don't know?" Chiyo laughed. Her shadow lengthened, and she fell backwards into it. 

Of course, it wasn't Chiyo. It was Akina. I reached out to her. The rain cut between us, and she was gone.

I dashed through the rainfall, looking for her. But she was gone. I stood on an empty, muddy street, and I was alone. 

And then someone was chasing me, and I had to run. 

I dashed down the street, but my skates were too heavy, like stone. He was getting closer and closer, and then I fell. I looked up and saw him as he blocked out the sky. 

Shiro.

"You're dead, you're dead!" I screamed. "I killed you! Get away from me!"

"I'm not dead and I never have been!"

He came swooping down over me like a cloak. I tried to push him away but my arms wouldn't move. 

Someone watching, I screamed at him to help, to do something, and it was no good, he was gone, and then Shiro was on top of me, ripping into me, shattering me so that I was left nothing but dozens of pieces on the ground. Trapped behind my own eyes, I desperately tried to wake up. 

When I did, I was gasping, deep breaths echoing around the loft. I looked at my watch. It was two a.m. 

I couldn't stop shivering. I lay there, curled into a ball, sick with terror. He was dead. He had to be. I saw him die. Didn't I?

Maybe he isn't. Maybe he's just pretending to be dead, maybe he's still out there and he'll drag me back, no, no…

It was a dream, I told myself, looking round the loft, letting the pictures in my mind fade away. They wouldn't, not properly, they hung around like stains on a table. I couldn't move, I was so frightened.

"Lana?"

It was Coin.

"Yes?"

"I heard you scream. What happened?"

"I had a nightmare," I managed to say. My lungs were tight with terror, making it hard to talk. "Did I wake up the others?"

"No. I'm closest to you. Are you all right?"

"I'm just scared…" I put my hand out across the gap between us, and felt him take it. He had a strong grip, and it helped drag me out of the terror.

"Do you wanna…talk about it?"

Talking. Suddenly my secret was dragging me down like a rock in my stomach.

"I want to tell you something," I said. "I haven't told anyone else…please don't hate me."

"I won't. Is it something to do with why you left Tokyo-to?"

"I killed my mum's boyfriend," I said. "I stabbed him."

Silence for a moment, then he whispered, "Why?"

"He was raping me." 

Another word for it. And this one seemed a lot more serious. Was that because I wanted Coin to take it seriously, wanted him to accept me for doing it?

"I'm sorry," he said, and he sounded like he meant it. He stroked my fingers. "Was that what you dreamt about?"

"Yes."

"Lana, I'm so sorry."

"That's all right, okay? We'd better get back to sleep."

"If you're sure you're okay."

I lay back, staring up at the ceiling again. But I didn't let myself sleep. Those shadows were still behind my eyes, and I wasn't going to walk back into them. Ever.

The next day I had a permanent yawn stuck in my throat. 

"You can come out with me today," Cube said. "The guys already left."

"Cool." It wasn't. I wanted to be with Coin. But there was no sense in making Cube suspicious.

"By the way, Lana," Cube said as I followed her out of the loft. "You want to buy some other clothes?"

"You bet. I had to leave in a hurry."

"Okay. We can go and do that – may as well get it over with while the guys aren't here."

We walked out into the light. It was a damp, sunny morning, and not many people were about.

"I'm sorry about all the arguing," Cube said. "It's just – I guess Coin and I aren't getting on so well."

Suddenly she actually looked miserable.

"Oh, I'm sure it's just a passing thing," I said, trying to repress a smirk and thinking, Please say it isn't.

Cube shrugged. "This isn't the first time we've had a row. And he's being so distant this time. I feel like he doesn't actually care any more."

"Why did you start rowing?" I knew if I offered any sympathy I'd start giggling and then I may as well throw myself under a bus and be done with it.

"He just kept making these stupid jokes," Cube snapped. "He knew it was bugging me. I'm not saying I can't take a joke, but I was just tired, and it would have been nice if he could have quit when I asked him. But no – he just kept on and on until I flipped."

"Some guys act so immature," I said.

"And now he won't apologise, and I'm not going to. I haven't done anything wrong. Why should I say sorry?"

"Of course you shouldn't," I said. "Guys don't want someone who acts desperate."

"It's just – if we do break up, I mean seriously, it's gonna wreck the gang. Combo's friends with both of us, if we're not talking he's gonna get tired of having to be the one in the middle. Then he might quit, and if he quits then there'll be no reason for me and Coin to stick together, and that'll be the end of Triple-C."

"I'm sure that won't happen," I said, trying to sound comforting. "I mean, Combo's not gonna want to abandon you guys, is he?"

"He tells me I should try and make up. But I don't want to!" Cube kicked the corner of the wall. "I mean, I love Coin and all…"

Damn.

"But I'm not putting up with all this shit just because of that."

Cool.

"No, I definitely think you shouldn't," I said, trying to sound sincere. "He's got to learn he can't just keep pissing you off and get away with it."

"Thanks, Lana."

"That's okay. I just want you guys to be happy."

Not.

"I really appreciate that," Cube said, then stopped as a long black car prowled past us like a snake. 

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing…we just never see cars like that round here. It's pretty fancy…"

The car slowed, almost stopped in front of us. Cube gave it the middle finger, and after a moment it moved off again.

"Weird," Cube muttered. "Anyway…It's nice to know someone's on my side."

"Sure I am, Cube. Sure I am."

After I'd purchased a black T-shirt to wear instead of my nightdress, me and Cube tagged the skate park, and then she headed back to the loft. 

I followed a few minutes later. As I approached the door I heard voices. I stopped and pressed my ear to it.

"I don't want to break up the gang." Cube.

"You're not going to, okay? I don't see why you're keeping up this conversation. I'm sticking in Triple-C no matter what you do."

"I don't want you to leave, okay? I just wish you could see that you hurt me."

"I'm sorry." Coin didn't sound like he meant it.

Cube sighed. "Well, that's all I wanted to say. I don't know why we've ended up like this, but I'm not going to beg."

"Fine."

I heard someone marching towards the door, and leapt back from it as Cube walked out, shoulders drooping. Quickly I hurried in.

Coin smiled at me, but he didn't look too happy either.

"Well?" I asked.

"We've reached an armed truce."

"What about me?"

"Lana…" He hugged me. "Don't worry, okay? I'm gonna stick with you whatever happens. Promise."

He kissed me, and my fear faded.

That afternoon we were all out in the skate park, when suddenly Cube rushed round the corner and yelled, "The cops are coming!"

"Where are they?" Coin said.

"They're coming down the street…they're checking all the alleyways…" Cube tried to catch her breath.

"Right," Coin said. "Lana, you go and do lookout on the roof. If you see them, yell. Us three'll carry on as long as we can. If anyone gets chased –"

"We know," Cube snapped. "Don't go back home. We're not that dumb, Coin."

"Just thought I'd mention it," he retorted. "Lana, move."

I dashed round to the steps and hurried up onto the roof. By lying on my stomach I had a clear view of the panda cars coming down the road, stopping at intervals, and of Cube, who was tagging the wall leading into the skate park. Coin and Combo were out of sight, down in the actual park itself. They only had a few minutes. I opened my mouth to yell. 

Then a horrible plan stole into my head.

If I just _happened _to call out too late, Cube would be in serious trouble. Combo and Coin would see what was going on and scarper, but Cube would be caught. Then I wouldn't have to worry about her any more.

I felt sick at the thought of the idea. It was devious, evil, and unrudielike. But it would solve a lot of my problems. 

Right?

The car had stopped. Five cops were hurrying towards the skate park. 

Before I could decide whether to yell or not, things started happening fast.

Cube heard the running feet. She took in her pursuers with one glance, then stopped tagging and started to dash. I got to my feet, hurried to the other side of the roof, and screamed down a warning to the guys. Cube, running past the fence, was doing the same thing. I saw them dash up the ramp out of the park. Coin turned right, to safety – Combo turned left, to face the Keisatsu.

Cube leapt, began grinding along the wall encircling the area, outrunning the cops. Then I saw a little puff of dust fly from the wall as a bullet pinged onto it, above her head.

Combo skated towards them, weaving and dodging. He slammed out with his fists – once, twice, three times – and cops fell around him like they were doing some sort of dance. Another shot. 

Coin came rushing up onto the roof. He hurried over to me and we both stared down at the scene.

Two cops left standing. Cube was doubled over, clutching her side. Combo grabbed her wrist and began to run. 

"They're not gonna make it…" Coin's voice was tense.

"What can we do?" I looked round at him. He looked like he was desperately trying to figure an answer to that. 

More shots. My throat tightened. 

Combo and Cube dashed round the corner of the building we were on top of. We both hurried to the edge of the roof. The cops were coming round. Then I had an idea.

I took out a paint can, and dropped it onto the cops. They stopped, looked up. I'd ducked back, but I heard them yell something, and while one cop carried on after the other two, the other made a dash for the stairs.

"Quick!" I said. "Get jumping!"

We began to dash, leapt over the gap onto the next roof, and the next, and then through the window of the taller building facing us. Glass shattered around my face. 

We looked back. The cop was standing on the rooftop, looking stuck. 

"Out of this window and onto the railway," Coin said, hurrying over to the adjacent wall. 

We leapt again, landed on the tracks, and began to grind. I wasn't too happy with our position – the memories of the Sable Blades test were still clear – but the tracks were empty at the moment, glittering in the sun. 

"Now what?" I asked. 

"Now we try and lose him, and get back home," Coin muttered.

We leapt off the tracks at the same moment, past the cop's nose, wall-rode off a building, and dropped back into the skate park. The three cops Combo had dealt with were still unconscious in an untidy pile on the ground, but the one chasing us was dashing back down the steps. 

"Split up," I said. "See you later!"

Coin turned and dashed off down Bantam Street, and I began wall-riding. 

The cop looked from me to him, then chose him. I waited until I was sure I was safe, then made tracks back to the loft.

Combo and Cube were already there. Cube had blood on her face, and both of them were out of breath.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah…" Cube nodded. "I got grazed by a bullet, I think…but I'll live."

Damn. 

"Where's Coin?" she asked.

"He took off to lure them away from here. Said he'd try and lose them."

Cube took a deep breath, then closed her eyes.

"I'm really sorry I didn't warn you in time," I said, mentally crossing my fingers. "Honest, I was just about to when you saw them…"

"That's okay," Cube said, her voice cool. "Just don't do it again, okay?"

I didn't answer. Did she suspect? Cube may be annoying, but she wasn't dumb.

Footsteps coming up the stairs. We all turned to watch the door, and then breathed a sigh of relief as Coin walked in.

Cube ran over to him. "You're okay!"

"Of course I am. You don't think those bozos could've touched me, do you?" He hugged her, and jealousy burned up inside me like acid, frightening me by how bad it felt.

"But you…" he said. He touched her face, and I gritted my teeth. "You're bleeding."

"I'm fine." Cube seemed to realise how close they were, and twitched herself apart from him. 

I saw Coin's eyes flicker from me to her. There was confusion in them. A lot of it.

Oh, great. Somehow he'd fallen back in love with her. The bitch. Why hadn't I tried harder to get her caught? 

"Cube, I'm sorry," he said, taking her hand. "I really am."

He sounded it too. I felt the sappiness of the situation closing over me like steel bars. I had to get out of here.

"I'll leave you two alone," I said, trying to make it sound like I approved of it. Then I dashed for the stairs.

I didn't go all the way down – the cops might still be lurking. Instead I leant against the wobbly banister and kicked the wall over and over again.

The door above me opened, and Combo walked out. Quickly I pulled the rage off my face.

"Hey," I said, as he walked down to stand next to me.

"Yo." He leant against the banister next to me, and I felt it dip.

Silence. I sneaked a glance at him. He didn't look like a guy whose friends are making up should look. He looked worryingly thoughtful.

"What's with you?" I snapped. There's no other word for it. "Tired of seeing them chew each other's faces off?"

As soon as I said it I regretted it. 

"No. I'm just wondering why you are."

I wondered whether straight denial would work, and decided it wouldn't. Better go for the scarred act. "Love doesn't exist. It just bugs me to see them acting like it does."

"That's kinda harsh for such a kid."

I sneered at him, and said, "Well, sorree. I don't do fairy stories."

Combo shrugged, and didn't answer. I got the feeling he didn't believe me, but it wasn't like he could prove it. 

The door opened, and Cube stuck her head out. "Come on, guys, we didn't mean to make you walk out on us."

She had a big, stupid smile on her face, and her lipstick was smeared.

Bitch, I thought at her. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. But I made my face stay neutral. I couldn't afford to tip her off as to my real feelings.

Coin was rubbing his mouth, and I saw the same blue on it that was on Cube's. As soon as the other two had their backs turned, I shot him a death ray glare. 

It was some time before I could get him alone. Twilight, and we were tagging in the street.

"Look," he said. "I'm sorry, okay? Things just happened."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really. I – I don't know what to do now, I guess."

"You can't decide between us?" I jammed my finger down on the nozzle of the paint can so hard that my joints clicked. Paint shot out and ran down the wall. 

"No. Lana, I'm sorry."

"You promised you'd always stick with me," I said. 

"Well, I might, mightn't I? I just don't know."

"How long is it going to take for you to decide?" 

"I –"

Coin stopped. He was staring over my shoulder.

"What?"

I turned to see the same black car that had passed me and Cube, coming towards us like a panther. 

Coin's eyes had narrowed.

"Coin? How long?"

"Huh? Oh, I don't know. Look, I've got to do something, okay?"

He turned and walked away, towards the car.

"Are you crazy?" I yelled after him. 

He ignored me. Walked over to the passenger side and knocked on the tinted window. 

Slowly it slid down. Coin held a muffled conversation with the occupant, then turned and walked back to me.

"Sorry about that," he said. "Look, I don't know. I think we'll just have to see how it goes."

"What was all that about?" I asked as the car revved up and tore away from us.

"Oh, some guys interested in buying a record."

"Pretty rich guys."

Coin shrugged. 

"Look," he said. "I promise, I'll come to a decision. Sooner or later. I just can't decide."

(R+r now! Now! Pleeeeeeeease…)


	7. BrokenHearted

Chapter 07 – Broken-Hearted 

(I don't own JSR or associated characters…I do own Kellaani, the characters of the various rudies apart from Triple-C, but I don't own the Noise Tank names. Please r+r!)

He couldn't decide. Well, that was true enough. Days formed weeks, and still I was meeting with him in secret, while he and Cube smooched whenever they had the chance.

In a way I was glad of it. It gave me something to think about other than homesickness, or Shiro. Who was dead. I knew he was. The fact that he kept turning up in my dreams was irrelevant. Coin was kind to me about that at least. He never made fun of me. He just held my hand, talked to me, until I'd stopped shivering.

It was harder and harder to be nice to Cube, so I avoided her. Which suited me. And Combo definitely didn't approve of me now. I think he was mad I wasn't pleased about Cube and Coin's relationship. So I avoided him too. 

And Coin couldn't spend that much time with me, in case Cube made the connection. So all in all I was pretty lonely. I could picture Tokyo-to, far across the ocean, empty of me, things going on as normal. I wished I could go to Akina's grave.

I hated Coin and yet I loved him, and it made me feel like my brain was on a permanent rollercoaster. It seemed nowadays I could flare up over anything. Akina had been safe…

But I wasn't going to think about her now.

And then it was time for another earthquake in my life.

I was sitting in the loft, waiting for Coin. It was growing dark. Cube and Combo were out tagging, and he was going to make some excuse and slip away. The sky looked wintry, and the light in the loft feeble against it.

The door opened, and I stood up as Coin came in. He was still cute. Painfully so. I bit my lip, forced pictures of him and Cube together out of my mind, and let myself walk into his arms.

We kissed and kissed – and there was electricity, still, though you'd think it would have faded by now – and then he started pulling off my shirt, kissed my breasts, now that was good, we wriggled out of the rest of our clothes, dust from the floor smeared my skin, and we were close again – 

The door opened.

We jumped violently. Sprang apart, both naked, and I grabbed my shirt and flung it over myself as Combo's eyes took us both in.

"Quit staring, pervert," I snapped. 

"Love doesn't exist?" Combo threw my words back at me.

I glared at him.

"Where's Cube?" Coin's voice shook a little. I itched to hurt him.

"Still down there. I came back for more paint."

"Don't tell her, Combo. Please don't."

"No, do tell her," I said. "You said you'd decide. May as well make it today."

"I ain't telling her. We all are." Combo sounded very dark and angry. "I'm not going down there on my own and telling her you're two-timing her with another gang member. Firstly, she'll break my nose, and secondly, she deserves an explanation from the guilty one. You."

"Just keep your nose out of our relationship," I said. I couldn't believe how vicious my voice was turning. But I really had my back to the wall now. "Your relationship?" Combo said scornfully. "This is gonna screw up all the people I know in the world." He was speaking to Coin again now. "You know Cube ain't gonna stay if she finds out. You know she'll be furious. She'll leave and she'll try and hurt you. And you know you'll break her heart. She'll never admit it, but it'll snap in two if you leave her."

"Oh, please. She's hardly a delicate flower, is she?" I said. "A thistle, perhaps. Look, Coin, make your choice. Thanks to Cube's humungous guardian angel, it's gonna have to be her or me."

Coin swallowed. He was pale. Slowly he started to get dressed. 

"Well?" I said. "Cat got your tongue?" I didn't want to nag him for an answer. I didn't want him to give me an answer because I knew I might lose him. And yet I couldn't keep quiet.

He was dressed now. He took my hands in his, stroked the fingers like he'd done when I woke up in terror that night weeks ago. 

"Lana, I'm sorry," he said.

It was like I'd been stamped on. 

"I – I really like you, and I'll never forget you. But I can't carry on with this. I was wrong to in the first place. I love Cube, and – and I can't hurt her now. I'm sorry about this. I really am."

"Don't be," I spat. "You bastard, I hate you and I wish you were dead!"

Coin turned away from me. 

"Don't tell Cube," he said to Combo. "I will if I need to."

"And suppose I do?" I heard myself saying. Now most of my mind had gone into free fall, with just the angry bit left, working for us all.

Combo moved surprisingly quickly for someone so large. He pressed one enormous hand down on my shoulder, and growled, "You keep out of this. You done enough already. It's none of your business."

"Combo, they're not babies," I said, trying not to fly at him and dig my nails into his eyes. "Quit being their nanny and get a life of your own."

He ignored me, and he and Coin walked out of the room.

I don't remember getting dressed again. I don't remember waiting until I was sure the guys had reached the skate park. I don't remember taking their spray paint funds and getting out of the building. I don't remember walking back to the airport, or asking about planes to Tokyo, or waiting in the departure lounge.

All I remember is sitting on the plane as it took off, staring down at Grind City as it vanished beneath me, and feeling tears pour down my face until I didn't think I had any left.

I went back to the Sable Blades HQ. I'd only been away a month or so. It was still there. The seats were flayed bare, and Ringo lay beneath a dry, bloody blanket. 

I didn't care. I curled up on one of the seats, and went to sleep. 

When I woke up, it was night again. I couldn't be bothered to go and find something to eat. Maybe if I faded away to nothing I'd stop hurting so much. And there was a curious pleasure in starving myself. My stupid hormones may have broken my heart, but I wasn't going to allow my body to make all the demands.

Beneath the blanket, Ringo was a skeleton, decorated with scraps of black. 

I saw a rat in the carriage, but I didn't disturb it. I felt like a rat myself at the moment.

I slept again. 

Faces tumbled through my dreams, Shar, Dash, Jin, Gamma, Cube, Alex, Akina, Coin, my mother, Combo, Shiro, San, Jay, Data, Chiyo, Omega, Ringo. There was no order to them, just a confused memory when I woke up. It was daylight now. My stomach growled. I ignored it. 

The tag I'd done for Ringo was still there, faded, but bright in the dingy carriage.

Sometimes a train ran past me, but never stopped. 

Sleep was good. I could switch off, I didn't have to cope, I could hope that when I woke up a lot of things would have been a dream. I said Chiyo's words to me over and over again, using them to keep myself afloat. 

In the whole world, no one cared where I was. 

The seats were hard and bare, dug into my back. I could smell my own sweat. It seemed cold everywhere. I was losing count of time. Sometimes I cried. I no longer knew what for.

Footsteps on the gravel.

I sat up, blinked. I was shivering all over, and I felt sick. 

A Noise Tank was watching me.

"Go on," I said, throat stinging. "Kill me. I don't care."

"Why should I want to?"

It wasn't Data or Omega.

"Who are you?" I said. I felt so strange. So awful.

"I'm Giga."

"Well, I kicked your head in, didn't I? You should hate me just as much as the others did."

Giga shrugged. "I don't remember that at the moment. I remember your face. Something bad…you did…I guess it's that. Data's out, and I don't like hanging with Omega. He doesn't like me."

His speech was direct, simple, free of any emotion. I wondered if he'd always been like this, or if it had been me who caused it.

"You don't look very well," he said. "Why aren't you in a house?"

"I don't have a fucking house to go to, bit-brain." I gritted my teeth against the waves of cold washing over me. "Just stop asking dumb questions and go away."

"You're a rudie. You should be in a gang."

"Your Omega slaughtered my gang."

"Find a new one."

"Like who? You won't take me and my IT skills suck anyway. The Poison Jam are a bunch of dummies. And there is no one else."

"What about the GGs?" Giga asked. "Or the Love Shockers?"

"Huh?" I wondered if I was getting amnesia to boot. "I've never heard of those two gangs."

"Haven't you?" Giga shrugged. "The Love Shockers are all girls. 'Love broke their hearts, and now they're looking to do some breaking of their own.' That's what Prof K says, anyway."

"And the GGs?"

"Oh, geez, they've been shoving into everyone's turf lately." Giga shrugged. "They tagged me, Omega and Data nine times."

(A/N: Yes, I know in the level 'Noise Reduction,' you have to tag them ten times but that will screw up my continuity so whoever did tag them in this was nice enough to let them off. Sorry.)

I shivered again, wishing my stomach would stop trying to crawl up my throat.

"And they've axed three members of the Poison Jammers, and three Love Shockers."

"Tagged them ten times?" Rudie law. Ten times, and you were out of the game. No skating, no tagging, no nothing. 

"Uh-huh. Now they practically own all three districts. We're laying low. It's not much fun. Data's depressed and Omega keeps threatening to kill the GGs. Or me, when he's in a bad mood. Which he is a lot of the time."

"What's these GGs' style?" Despite my freewheeling stomach, I was interested.

"They don't seem to have one. They all dress different." Giga shrugged. "They're pretty big on teamwork, it looks like. All friends."

"Where do the Love Shockers hang out?" Being friendly was the last thing I wanted to do at the moment.

"In Shibuya-cho, in some abandoned factory. They have their sights set on that district, but I don't think they'll beat the GGs."

"All right, then." I stood up, and my legs wobbled. "I'll go there."

"You won't be able to skate like that," Giga said. He didn't sound worried, just observing. "You're all trembly."

"Well, what do you suggest I do?" I snapped. 

"I don't know. Get something to eat, maybe," Giga said. "I'd better go. Data worries about me."

I watched him skate away. I had a small amount of loose change left from the plane ticket money. And maybe eating something would make me feel better. 

Maybe I should start having a life again.

I went and bought some Cheetos. At first I was scared to eat, but after the first mouthful my stomach took over and made me wolf them down.

I saw my reflection in a shop window, and was frightened. I was dead pale, except for my eyes, which were red-rimmed, my hair was a mess, my clothes were crumpled and stained, and I had a stupidly panicked look on my face.

Well, no gang was going to want me if I represented a bag lady minus the bags. 

But what could I do? 

Footsteps behind me. I turned and saw two Noise Tanks. Neither of them were tall enough to be Omega, so I didn't panic…that much. 

"Come on." I recognised Data's voice. "I don't know why Giga wants to help you, cos I sure don't, but you look like you need some help."

"I don't need your help, techno-babe," I snapped.

"Oh, stop being so stupid and come on. Look, it's not a trap, you know I hate hurting people. I don't like you much either but it looks like you've suffered enough for the moment."

Well, that was true. And what did I have to lose? It wasn't like anyone needed me. 

I let them lead me back to their HQ.

"How do you know I won't come and tell someone where this is?" I asked as we wriggled through the secret entrance behind the boxes. 

"I don't," Data said. "I told you, I don't want you here, but Giga does, and I let myself be talked into it." She put her hands on my shoulders and motioned me left. "The bathroom's that way. Go take a shower."

I don't know why they helped me. It's not like I did anything for them, before or since. But then, it's not like I did anything for anybody. 

I walked out of the Noise Tank HQ clean, shiny, with new clothes. I had said thank you. Data didn't answer, but Giga said, "You're welcome," like we were friends. 

I didn't understand Giga.

And then I made my way to Shibuya-cho.

I hadn't been here very much, but it was still familiar. Too familiar, in fact. It felt – all of Tokyo felt – like I'd never left, like nothing had changed. 

Well, hopefully this would get rid of that feeling.

I followed Giga's directions, turned a corner, and came upon a huge, mouldering building, gashed with thin windows, most of which were broken.

Feeling suddenly queasy, I walked up to the main door and pushed it open. 

The building consisted of a huge main hall bordered with metal walkways. Every sound echoed. In the centre of the hall stood a group of figures, all female.

I swallowed, and walked forward. My footsteps rang out in the emptiness, and they turned. 

My mouth dropped open as I saw their faces. Talk about déjà vu. 

Three of the girls were dressed identically, with pink spiked hair, eyepatches, black crop tops, pink and black shorts, and long, pink and white skates. I didn't recognise two of them, but the third one was – had to be – Jay, Alex's friend. And the two girls dressed normally were very familiar indeed. Shar and Dash.

"Kellaani?" Shar said, her voice sounding stupidly small in the huge building. "We thought – we thought –"

"Thought what?" I tried to act like I wasn't scared.

"We thought you were on the run," Dash said. "Your mum wouldn't tell us anything except you'd been a bitch and she never wanted to see you again and she hoped the cops would beat your brains out."

I felt slapped. Oh, well, another ally definitely lost. 

"I was in Grind City," I said coolly. "But I decided I wanted to see the old place again."

"Are you saying you want to join our gang?" Jay demanded.

"Yes."

"Excuse me," one of the girls that I didn't recognise said. "But it's for people who've got dumped. Screwed around. Two-timed. Whatever. You can't just waltz in and decide you want to join."

I shrugged. "Oh, didn't I say? I got dumped in Grind City. He went back to his old girlfriend."

There were no tears now, just a black, growling rage. 

"Can we believe you, Kellaani?" Jay asked.

"I'm telling the truth. If you don't believe me, accept me for what happened to Akina. You guys all remember that, right?"

All three girls looked a bit guilty.

"Fine," Jay said. "I know we haven't been friends before, but I guess if you're willing to make it up, then I will too."

"That's very kind of you," I said. "Who's your friend?"

"Oh, this is Kris, and this is Babs," Jay said. "Kris and I founded the gang."

"What about you guys?" I said to Shar and Dash. "Who broke your hearts?"

Shar shrugged. "Akio dumped me at last."

I raised my eyebrows. They'd been together, on and off, almost the whole time I'd known them. 

"And I just found out my latest was cheating on me." Dash scowled. "Kellaani, I thought you…I thought you and Akina…how come you had a boyfriend in Grind City?"

"Guess I'm bi," I said. "That should make you happy, right? You weren't too keen on the Akina thing."

Dash shrugged and turned away.

"Okay then," Jay called. "Let's see your moves."

As we followed Kris, Babs and Jay out of the building, I noticed Dash and Shar were wearing skates. "Didn't know you guys were rudies."

"It keeps my weight down," Shar said. "And you can get skates dirt cheap if you know where to look. Look, Kellaani, you're not mad with me, are you?"

"Why should I be?"

"Well, you know…that whole Akina thing. I was just freaked, honestly." She lowered her voice. "Dash is a raving homophobic, but I was just…well, I'd never known and all."

"That's okay," I said sweetly as we reached the bus terminal. "I'm over it now."

"You ready?" Jay called. "Copy me!"

She leapt onto a railing, jumped the gap onto another one, then jumped again onto the banister of the steps to the bridge. She ground along the entire length of the bridge before sliding down the banister at the end, wall-riding off a billboard, landing on another railing, jumping across the road to another, grinding along that, wall-riding again, and landing back on the railing she'd started on.

I copied her pretty easily – the Triple-C test had been much harder. Shar and Dash didn't find it so good. I noticed they were still a bit unsteady on their skates, and hid a smirk. 

They weren't my friends any more. Friends stuck up for you. Friends accepted you. Friends didn't turn their back and then about-face when you said you'd changed. 

I'd play nice for the moment. But don't think I was gonna put myself out for them. Ever again.

"Guys, you're in," Jay called after conferring with Kris and Babs. "Well done. You'll be associates until you decide if this gang's for you, and if it is, we fix your hair for you." She touched a pink spike of her own hair as she spoke. No more braids for you, I thought. 

"That's cool?"

We nodded. 

"Then let's get moving."

I remember, after the three of us had been given Love Shocker uniform and skates, staring at them, then at myself. It was pretty freaky, seeing yourself dressed identically – and I mean identically – to two other people like that. We still had our height, and our skin tones, and our hair, but…

I'm just not used to being so obviously part of a team, I guess. 

Giga was right about one thing. The Love Shockers weren't going to beat the GGs.

I was told there were six of them at the moment. Well, there may have been six of us, but that didn't mean we were equal.

Shar and Dash, as I said earlier, weren't too hot on their skates. So they basically made one good rudie between them. And me and Jay and Kris were pretty good, and Babs was reasonable, but I saw these GGs skate, and they were better. 

And Kris was the only one of us who really knew Shibuya-cho, whereas all the GGs seemed to, more or less. 

I wanted to be the best gang. I wanted to be one of the gangs who _owned_ a district. I didn't want to be a nobody. But it looked like from the GGs' point of view, that's exactly who I was.

And I didn't like it. But there wasn't anything I could do. I wasn't going to quit another gang. 

But I'd get some power if it was the last thing I did.

(R+r, r+r, r+r…)


	8. People Come, People Go

Chapter 08 – People Come, People Go

(You know the drill now. I don't own JSR. I do own all original characters. Pleeeeeease r+r!)

It was – guess what? – a dark and stormy night.

I was lurking in the bus shelter. It was several weeks since I'd joined the Love Shockers, and I reckoned I was gonna get to be in proper pretty soon. Shar and Dash had both been pink-spiked a few days ago, and I knew I was better than them.

But it didn't change the fact that we were, and always would be, second best to those damn GGs.

I didn't like hanging with the Love Shockers. Seeing Shar, and Dash, and Jay, was making me remember Akina, and even after all this time, it still hurt.

Remembering Coin didn't hurt. It just made me angry.

Find out what burns their minds…

Chiyo would have known how to handle that situation. If I ever met up with Triple-C again, I'd show them the meaning of pain.

Lightning flashed, once, and I saw a skated figure under one of the bus shelters.

Trying to put 'The Tale Of The Demon Skater' out of my mind, I crept towards it. 

As I got closer, I saw it was a girl. She was soaked, her brown dreadlocked hair like a waterfall, her clothes stuck to her body, her fingers gripping her arms as she shivered. Her eyes were puffy, and her dark lips were trembling.

But she wore skates, and so I had to challenge her.

"What are you doing here, rudie, you're on our turf." 

"None of your business." The girl's voice was broken with tears, but there was still fire in it. "And I'm not a rudie, anyway."

"Then why the skates?" I asked.

"Well…"She licked her lips. "I was actually wanting to join up with a gang. You know of any?"

"Do I know of any? I'm in the Love Shockers, of course I know of any. You look pretty broken-hearted, I must say."

"I guess I am." Wrong thing to say. Her mouth crumpled, and tears began filling her eyes.

"Oh, geez, not tears," I said. "I can't handle'em. Well, I'll tell you what. If you can keep up with me, then I'll put your name up for membership. Okay?"

"Sure. Thanks!" She gave me a nervous smile.

"I'm only an associate at the moment – haven't got the hair…But I can nominate you. If you're any good."

Without looking back, I leapt onto the railings near us and began to grind along them. I felt the metal tremble as she leapt on behind me. It was slippery going, but I had good balance.

Where to now? I was making this up as I went along, and it'd better be good. I carried straight on, past the square and up to Center Street. Turned off the main road and down a side street, the rain rushing as I did. She was still following me. Not bad going. 

Down into the half pipe. It was lined with dirty water, but I ignored that. I had to act like I knew what I was doing. I wasn't sure I did. I wasn't sure what Jay would say when I brought this drowned rat back to our HQ. But heck, she'd looked so pathetic. 

Time to show off a bit. I did a flip up the wall, leapt, trying to make my moves as sharp and neat as possible. Glancing over one shoulder, I saw she was copying me almost exactly. Impressive. 

I repeated the moves, then ground up the steps back into the bus terminal. Rain ran down the back of my neck and into my eyes. I was shivering now. I ground up the banisters and down the next lot – and she was still keeping up. 

I stopped. If she could stick with me on that she had to be good enough. Surreptitiously trying to catch my breath, I called, "Well done. Let's move it!"

"You – you mean I passed?" 

"Duh, of course you did. Let's go." Could she really not know she was that good? She hadn't looked good, but… 

I led her out of the bus terminal, and towards our HQ. "What's your name?"

"Piranha." 

I'd never seen anyone looking less like a piranha, but I didn't say that. "I'll talk to our leader. Even if she says no, at least you can get dry."

"Thanks," she said, as we walked into the HQ.

"You got a home to go to?"

She shook her head, and the tears welled up again. Leaving her in the main hall, I dashed away to find Jay.

She was curled up in one of the old ground floor offices, reading a large, depressing looking book.

"Jay? Got a new recruit for you. I tested her out in the bus terminal, and she seemed pretty skilled. Fast, anyway."

"This better be good, Kellaani." Jay put down her book. 

"Trust me. Her name's Piranha."

We walked back out. Piranha was dripping miserably onto the floor. 

"Piranha, huh?" Jay said. "Well, you gotta be broken-hearted to join the Love Shockers."

I could've told her what effect that line would produce. You guessed it – tears.

"I – I got tricked at school," Piranha said, voice quavering. "They told me this guy liked me and he'd take me to the prom…and it was all a trick, when I came he told me he'd never go with me if they paid him…and I ran home and told my parents I was never going back…and they kicked me out…and I don't know what to do…"

Oh, geez. I actually felt sorry for her. 

"I guess you qualify," Jay said. "Do you want to join, then?"

Piranha rubbed her eyes, and nodded, lip trembling.

"Come on. I'll test you out myself, though from what Kellaani says you seem pretty good, and get you some dry clothes."

They walked off practically arm in arm. I stared after them, not sure what to think. For once I was being nice.

But that girl had looked so vulnerable. Saturated and sobbing.

Akina. 

Oh Lord. 

I clenched my fists and forced down my own tears. The rain slammed against the windows. I murmured Chiyo's words under my breath, and renewed my promise of revenge.

Piranha joined us. And I got to be a real Love Shocker at last. Oh, joy. Oh, rapture. 

"Okay, Kellaani," Jay said from above me as I knelt over the bathtub. "Are you ready?"

My hair, soaked, was dragging the rest of my head down, and I could hardly hear her, but I gave a ragged thumbs-up. 

"Okay."

Strong fingers grabbed my scalp. I squeezed my eyes shut as cold, syrupy liquid oozed over my hair. 

Look your last on your raven locks, Kellaani. You will not see their like again.

I could hear Shar giggling. I wondered if leaping up and slapping her would spoil my rep.

Jay dragged me up by the shoulders and wrapped a towel round my head. "Now we wait ten minutes."

"Do I have to take an oath?"

They surrounded me. Shar. Dash. Jay. Kris. Babs. Piranha wasn't there. Only true Love Shockers could partake in this holy ceremony. Oh, please.

Soon I'd really be part of a team. I swallowed. I wasn't so sure I liked the idea. But it was too late now.

Ten minutes later the towel was pulled off, and Jay got out a pair of scissors.

"Don't tell me," I said. "Now you all go crazy on my hair."

"Nope. Only me."

I heard the sound of hair being snipped, and saw little pink feathers of it fall to the ground. It didn't look like my hair. None of me looked like me any more. 

My neck was becoming cooler as more and more hair was cut away. Single strands were speckling my back, itching. Babs and Shar and Dash and Kris were clapping. 

"It's done, Kellaani. Want a look?" 

"I guess so." I took the mirror they handed me, and my stomach contracted. 

I didn't look like me any more. My hair stuck up from my head like a bird's crest. One eye was hidden by that stupid patch. Even as I looked my face curled into the customary Love Shocker Kill-All-Men scowl. 

"Cool," I said, trying to sound pleased.

"You like, Kellaani?"

"I'm not Kellaani any more," I said. This scarred, angry, jagged person wasn't me.

"What shall we call you, then?" Jay said.

"Call me…" Not anything from the second half of my name. Those people just ended up hurting. And no way was I choosing Kelly.

"Call me…call me Kell."

I know why only the brave become GGs.

If you're a Noise Tank, a Poison Jammer, a Love Shocker, you get a uniform, right? A style. And something to hide your face with. 

You're not you any more. But that can be good. People react to you the way they would A Love Shocker, or A Noise Tank, or whatever. If you play your cards right, you can become nothing more than a gang member.

The GGs don't do that. They dress as themselves. They leave their faces bare. They can be recognised, remembered.

No one recognises you. They look, and they see a Love Shocker, and only a Love Shocker. No one bothers to peer behind the mask.

And that worked to my advantage.

A new recruit. Jay was talking to her while the rest of us lounged in one of the offices. It was sunny, and while the hall was pleasantly cool, everywhere else baked.

"Who is this girl, anyway?" Piranha asked. "Why all the secrecy?" She ran a hand down her newly spiked hair. We were all proper Love Shockers now. Six of us here, plus one outside, all identical except for our skins. Piranha and Jay were black. Kris, Babs, Shar and Dash were white. And I was sort of in between. 

"I don't know," Shar said, leaning her head against the wall. "I didn't see her. Jay brought her back and told us to get in here."

"Guys!" Jay yelled from outside. "Come meet our new member."

We trooped out. The girl stood in a sunlight square. Red hair glittered round her face. She stood there, with the same old smirk.

_You. _

I started to tremble. Not with fear. With rage.

I could see her again – in the chemistry classroom – making Akina cry – drowning her – rainy skies – cold dead face – choking – you bitch – I hate you – _I hate you_

I let my face grow calm.

Jay turned to face me. Shar and Dash were greeting Alex like they were long-lost relatives. 

"Kell," she hissed. "Look, do you have a problem with this? Alex is my best friend and I really want her in. She's been having a lot of problems with her home life."

"I don't mind," I said. "Really. But don't tell her it's me, okay? I don't want any bad feeling. If we just get to know each other all over again, I'm sure we'll be fine."

Yeah, right. I was going to have my revenge. 

"All right," Jay said. She walked back to Alex, hugged her. I watched them, trying to force down an evil smirk. If I was to pull this off, I had to be – yetch – nice. I couldn't let her see it was me.

Until the time was right. 

"Girls, this is Alex. Alex, this is Shar and Dash – you know them, of course – Kris, Babs, Piranha, and Kell."

Jay's voice didn't falter. I tried to smile like I meant it. "Hi."

"What's made you come here?" Kris asked.

Alex shrugged. She was thinner, and she looked more grown-up. "My family aren't doing what they should, and I'm sick of it. And some dumb guy spiked my drink and tried to make a move on me, and now everyone at school thinks I'm a slut. I felt I needed a change of scene."

I bit down on my tongue. It would be best if I said as little as possible. Assuming Jay and the others would stick with me on this, I didn't want to know too much and give myself away.

"What about San?" Shar asked.

"She's still at home. It's not too great for her, but I don't want her running away, she's too young."

"I'm sure she won't." Jay hugged Alex again. "Anyway, come on, let's go test you out. Kris?"

Kris nodded, and the three girls walked out of the building.

"Listen," I said to Babs, Piranha, Shar and Dash. "Don't tell Alex who I was, or that I used to be called Kellaani. It's better if she never knows."

"She'd freak," Dash said.

"Exactly. So keep your mouths shut."

"Why will she freak?" Piranha asked.

"Kell and Alex were at school together," Shar said. "And they hated each other's guts."

I tried to look miserable. "I just want to forget all that now. I just want to move on."

"Of course," Piranha said. "I think that's awful good of you. I'd not be so friendly."

"What's the point of keeping those silly school rivalries going?" I said brightly. 

Behind my eyes there was a rainy day and struggling by the river. 

That night, we were sitting in the main hall eating Chinese takeaway. Everyone had been briefed on what not to call me and what not to tell Alex, and I was feeling pretty relaxed.

"So," Alex said through a mouthful, "Why's everyone else here? What happened to you guys?"

As Shar begun spilling her sorry tale of woe, I quickly reviewed mine. There wasn't much that could give me away…was there?

"Kell?" Alex asked. "What happened to you?"

"Oh…I lived in Grind City for a time, and I went with this guy…and then he dumped me and went back to his old girlfriend." Whom I will personally kill slowly if we ever meet again.

"I'm sorry," Alex said. "So you came to Tokyo-to?"

"Yeah." Wow, the first time she'd said sorry to me and meant it. 

We relapsed into silence again. I was surprised at how easy this was. Surely she'd recognise me? But if she had, she sure wasn't giving anything away. 

Well, I'd just wait. I had a plan forming. 

Two days later our last new member turned up.

Another dark night. It was getting rainier and rainier round here. We were eating our nightly takeaway.

There was a bang on the door. 

I swallowed, sweet and sour chicken suddenly dry in my mouth. 

"Who could that be?" asked Alex. "What time is it?"

"Ten-thirty," Shar said.

Alex swallowed. "I'll go see. I'm sure it's no one scary, though, right?"

She put down her chopsticks and got up. 

Don't let it be an axe murderer, I thought. That would be too easy.

Alex stopped halfway to the door. "Guys? No moral support?"

"We'll just sit here and watch," Dash said. "If it's Freddie Krueger, it'll give us time to run."

Alex sneered at her, walked over, and opened the door, blocking the visitor from view. We saw her tense.

She said, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I can't stand it any more." The other voice was as familiar as it was controlled.

San.

Quite a school reunion, I thought, but didn't say. 

"San. Go home." Alex's voice was taut with fury.

"I want to join the Love Shockers. You know Gary dropped me."

"That was ages ago."

"I'm still broken-hearted, and I want to join."

"I'm not the leader," Alex growled. "Jay?"

Jay got to her feet and walked towards the door. "San, you're not even a rudie."

"I am. I've been practising."

"It's not all fun and games," Jay said. "It's serious. And we could get arrested – or even killed – any day."

Her words echoed in the huge hall, small and pathetic, as all our voices sounded in this place. 

"I don't care." San's voice shook. "I have to get out of there."

"Well, you can sleep here for tonight, I suppose," Jay said. "But tomorrow you'll have to go home."

San shrugged. "Whatever."

I stared down at my food. San had an annoying smartness, and she might recognise me. From under lowered eyelids I glanced at her. She looked older, like her sister did, but more so. Not so childish any more. She and Alex may have been in the same class, but San had always been the little one.

Her red-blonde hair was lank, and her eyes hard.

I couldn't handle all the memories flooding back into my head. I swallowed another mouthful of food, trying not to think. 

Jay and Alex sat down again. There was never enough light in this place. It was deepening our eye sockets, hollowing our cheekbones. We looked dead.

The next day San, Jay and I were out tagging. Neither of us really wanted San along, but somewhere along the way she'd acquired a 'you-won't-say-no-to-me' quality, and we'd ended up letting her come. We weren't even sure whether she'd leave or not. 

Kogane-cho. We didn't want another run-in with the GGs. I was trying not to act like I cared. I was also trying to avoid my house. My mum was still living there as far as I knew. If _she _recognised me…that would hurt too much.

Onishima's voice rasped over 'Sweet Soul Brother.' "This is Onishima requesting aerial cover!"

"Oh, rats," Jay said. She'd just begun spraying an X-tra large tag. "Great timing."

"Send in the choppers!" Onishima continued. "And when you find those kids, don't waste any time – just nab 'em!"

"Kell, you and San should get back. She's not good enough to outrun them."

We heard the sound of rotor blades cutting through the air.

"I can handle it," San snapped. 

"Just go!" Jay turned away and carried on painting her tag.

"Jay? Move it!" I clicked my fingers in front of her face.

"No. All my life I've been pushed around. I'm not taking it any more. I'm staying."

The helicopter shadow passed over us. I grabbed San and started dragging her along the road, calling back, "Jay, come on!"

We dodged into a doorway, and watched as Jay carried on tagging, dwarfed by the huge machine hovering behind her.

"Jay!" I yelled. "Just move it!"

She flicked back her hair and carried on.

They shot the missile.

I won't make you sick. I'll describe Jay's tag. I'll describe how the central part cracks as the wall's blown away. I'll describe how the rest of it is licked by the explosion and turns charred and scraped. I'll describe how one paint can rolls away from the fire. I won't describe what's left after the smoke clears.

San was bug-eyed.

"She told you it wasn't fun and games," I said. 

Somehow we got back to the HQ. There we told the others what happened. Most of them cried. Kris and Alex did, for sure.

I didn't. I went up to one of the empty offices, and wondered why I didn't feel anything.

When I came back down, Alex and Babs were arguing.

"Jay said if anything happened, I was leader," Alex snarled. 

"Well, why should you be?" Babs's mouth was twisted. "You've only just come. I've been here for ages. I should be leader. Or Kris should."

"I don't want to be," Kris said. "And Jay did always say Alex would take over."

Babs folded her arms and scowled. "If you don't let me be leader, I'm leaving."

"Fine. The door is that way." Alex had lost her tears now. She was just angry.

Babs's mouth fell open, then she turned on her heel and walked towards the door.

"I'm not finished, Al," she said. "I'm gonna get you for this."

She slammed the door, and Alex was leader.

Well, that would just make my little plan all the sweeter. The greater the fall, and all that.

You probably think I'm heartless, not caring more. I didn't exactly not care, though. It was weird – it was horrible – seeing someone get wiped out so quickly. Neither Akina nor Shiro had disappeared in a blink. 

But maybe I am heartless. I don't know what I am now. I'm not Kellaani, that's for sure. I've been swept up and dumped down in this new place with a new persona, a new disguise. Maybe I lost a few things back then. Maybe.

(R+r, please, please…J )


	9. Road Crashes, Rokkakus, And Revenge

Chapter 09 – Road Crashes, Rokkakus, and Revenge

(I don't own JSR or associated characters but I do own the characters of the Love Shockers apart from Piranha. Oh, and I forgot to say at the beginning of this story, thanx are due to JW/Zrex for giving me Kell's full first name so that's cool. Oh, and r+r!) 

San had become a Love Shocker at last.

We still had no idea how she'd managed to talk us into it, but once her own sister agreed there didn't seem much point in arguing any more. Today she'd just had her hair spiked, and we were celebrating.

Shar slumped against the car we'd – ahem – borrowed from a Shibuya street a few days before, swaying slightly. "So – so – so we got – we got seven of us now, right, girls? And those GGs only got six, that's gotta be good, right?"

She laughed, raised her glass, and made a mock bow in San's direction. We were all a bit pissed – in fact, San was looking distinctly green – but it was a celebration, right? 

I'd not been drinking so much. I don't like not being alert.

"This is, like, so cool!" Alex said. "Two Gilbert girls in this gang…two of us…wonder what Kellaani would say if she could see us now?"

She carried on giggling, tears pouring from her eyes. I tried not to look like I'd noticed. 

"Who's Kellaani?" Dash said. "I mean…I mean…it's not like I know her, is it?" She glanced at Shar, and the two of them cracked up. 

"Kellaani was…was…was this girl…" Alex gesticulated wildly with her drink, speckling us with warm liquid. "Bitch. Complete bitch." 

"What happened?" Piranha asked. She looked pretty dozy. "She still a bitch?"

"I don't know, do I?" Alex sounded angry suddenly. "I don't want to talk about her now. She's bad. We both are."

A silence fell. 

"Let's go out…" Kris said. "Go for a drive."

"Can't," San said. "We're drunk."

"I'm not," Piranha said, trying to focus. She staggered over to the car. "Come on. Bags I drive!"

"Don't be stupid," I said. "You can't drive, you're off your face."

The car sputtered into life, and Piranha stuck her tongue out at me. I watched as the others piled into the car.

"Piranha!" I yelled, but too late. The car did a 180-degree turn and charged out of the door.

Great. They'd probably come back in pieces. Or in handcuffs.

I leaned back against the wall and sighed. It was very quiet in the building. Why on earth had they chosen to live in something so creepy? It creaked and rattled 24/7. 

"Come on, Kell," I said to myself. "It's not like you believe in ghosts, is it?"

No, but maybe they believe in you, my thoughts replied.

I wondered what I'd do if I did come across Shiro as a ghost. Scream, probably. Screaming would sound good in this building, what with the echoes. 

Can ghosts fuck you? 

Don't be so stupid, I thought. He's dead, and ghosts don't exist. 

BANG

I jumped violently as the front door slammed against the wall. There was no one behind it.

"Who's there?" I called, trying to sound tough.

"Kell? Is that you?"

A girl crept into the building, and I relaxed.

"Who are you?" I said.

"It's Babs."

"No way!"

She shrugged. She'd cut off the spikes on her hair, and it covered her head like a cap. Her eyes were sunken and angry, and her clothes – not Love Shocker clothes – were crumpled.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Not good. Thanks to that bitch Alex."

"Tell me about it."

"You don't like her either?"

"I hate her," I said. "She killed a – a friend of mine. But don't tell her I said that."

"Hey, when will I ever get to speak to her? Where is everyone, anyway?"

I sighed. "Driving round Tokyo drunk as lords."

"Shit."

"I'm trying not to think what might happen." If they did all get killed, I'd be alone again. That couldn't be good. The dreams – the nightmares – had been coming back, and whoever was near me had got into the habit of shaking me awake when I screamed. 

No one to wake me.

Babs sat down next to me. "Not that I'd care if Alex got smashed up. How dare she kick me out? I was there before her. I'd love to see her down and out."

"Stick around," I said without thinking.

She glanced at me. "Why? You planning something?"

I decided not to deny it. "Yeah. But keep your mouth shut."

"I've already said, who've I got to open it to? Can I help?"

"Not at the moment. Maybe later."

"Cool." Babs rested her chin on her hands. 

"Where are you living at the moment, then?"

"Around. I crashed with a friend last night, but a lot of times I wind up under a bus shelter."

Suddenly there was a screech as a car halted outside. 

"That'll be them," Babs said, getting up. "I'd better go. Thanks for talking to me."

"Anywhere I can find you?" I called.

"Try the bus terminal, like I said." She hurried out of the door.

I heard the slamming of car doors, then the others walked in. Right away I saw there was something wrong. Everyone looked sobered up. San was crying. Alex was angrily comforting her. Shar and Dash had nervous, not-sure looks on their faces. Kris was leading Piranha, who looked unconscious apart from the fact her eyes were open.

"What happened?" I asked.

Kris looked angry. "We ran someone down."

"No way."

"Way. Some girl coming out of Shibuya High School. I think Piranha's in shock."

Piranha's eyes stared blankly ahead. Her mouth was half-open, and her skin shone with sweat.

"What happened exactly?"

"She was driving. The girl ran across the road. It wasn't her fault. We were speeding. We hit her. Piranha drove off. I don't know if she realised or not."

"Man. Do you think she – the girl, I mean – do you think she's dead?"

Kris nodded. "I'll see if I can wake Piranha up a bit." She led her patient away. 

"Onishima's gonna love this," Shar said. "It's just the sort of thing he says will happen."

"Oh, shut up," San sobbed. "That doesn't matter! Someone's dead! We shouldn't have gone out, and someone's dead!"

"It's okay…" Alex stroked her sister's back. 

"No, it isn't! She's dead!" 

I'd been right. Screaming did sound good in this building. 

There was no more party atmosphere. Everyone just sat around looking depressed. I was feeling pretty guilty myself. I should have stopped them. I wasn't going to beat myself up about it, but I should have. It would have been better for everyone.

That night, as I tried to go to sleep, someone started crying, Kris, I think. Piranha didn't. She lay there, staring at the ceiling, not sleeping.

I dreamt. Hands on me, holding me down. Bad things happening, trying to run. 

I managed to wake myself this time, and not scream, and lay there, feeling musty, in the darkness. 

Piranha was still lying as she had when I'd dozed off, awake and zombiefied. I sat up, wrapped my blanket around me, and started saying my times tables in my head to break away from the memory of my dream.

Piranha sat up, blinked. "Kell? What – what happened – I – I – oh, my god –"

Her face collapsed like water bursting through a dam, and she dropped down, sobbing, like a child.

I gently picked her up and hugged her. "You remembering?"

She nodded damply against my shoulder. 

"We'll look after you, okay."

"I killed her," Piranha choked.

"She knows you didn't mean to. She's probably mad because you were dumb, but she knows you didn't do it to be bad."

Piranha took several deep breaths. "I'm sorry – I'm sorry –"

"I know." I put her blanket round her shoulders. 

Piranha grabbed at it with shaking hands. "I'm scared…"

"We'll look after you."

I stayed talking to her until she dozed off. I felt strange. Once again I was letting someone lean on me. That was Laani's style, not Kell's. 

But what else could I do? Piranha needed help. I knew what it was like to be scared in the night. And it had made me less scared, to help someone else.

No, I could handle this.

We were still all gloomy the next day, which I wasn't surprised about. 

"Seen the papers?" Alex said as we ate breakfast, throwing me a copy of _Shibuya News._

Across the front page blazed the title, _Local Girl Killed In Rudie Hit-And-Run._

I scanned the article. _A gang believed to be known as the Love Shockers…terrible tragedy…day of mourning at Shibuya High School…_

"Hey, this girl's sister's a member of the GGs!"

"What?" Alex tried to grab the paper. I held it away and read out, "The victim's sister is believed to have ties to a local gang known as the GGs, but although the police are not ruling out the possibility of a gang war-related killing…blah blah."

"If she's a GG, it serves her right," Shar said.

San leapt up and slapped Shar's face. "Don't you say that. The GGs aren't any different from us. And no one deserves this."

"They are different," I said. "They win."

"This one didn't," Alex said. "This one lost, big time."

We heard footsteps, and looked round to see Piranha coming towards us. 

"Hi, guys," she said, giving us a nervous grin.

"Hi," I said. 

Silence from the rest, then Kris finally said, "Sleep well?"

"Not too great." Piranha sat down and began to eat, glancing from face to face nervously. 

"I'm not surprised," San said, sort of under her breath.

Piranha let her eyes drop.

"So…uh…what's happening today?" Dash said. 

"I don't know. Maybe we'll go out and maim some babies," San said. "Or firebomb a church. That sound good?"

Alex glared at her sister, and said, "Same old, I guess. Trying to grab a bit of Shibuya-cho for ourselves."

"We'll have one less GG to worry about, anyway," Dash said. "Won't be feeling like tagging, I'll bet." 

"That's horrible!" San slammed her plate down. "Don't you ever think of how other people feel?"

Piranha got up, and marched out of the building. I debated going after her, but decided not to. I felt sorry for her, but I also – wait for it – felt sorry for that GG girl as well. I wouldn't admit it, but I did.

I wondered if she hated Piranha like I did Alex.

Almost everything was ready for that. Soon Alex Gilbert would be begging me.

"I'll go see how Piranha is," I said, as silence fell again.

Outside Piranha was leaning against the wall, tears in her eyes again.

"They're not going to let up, are they?" she said.

"Who?"

"The others. And the cops are looking for the killer."

"Piranha, what are you thinking?"

"It's horrible here. Everyone hates me." Piranha looked up at me, brown eyes aching. "And I hate myself. I'm sorry, but I don't want to be part of this any more."

"Where will you go?"

"Anywhere. Anywhere where I don't have to hate and where nobody hates me."

"You're not gonna give yourself up, are you?"

She shuddered. "I can't. Maybe I should, but I – I just can't, they'll beat me up – I can't."

She began to walk away. Called back, "Don't forget me, all right? I'll be okay. I just need a new life."

"Don't we all," I replied, but she didn't hear me.

Here goes.

This next part will not be easy to explain at all. I guess you'll think I'm really crazy now.

Alex said she'd stay behind in the HQ while the rest of us went out tagging. This was just the occasion I'd been waiting for. I said Piranha had kept me awake and I was too tired.

They walked out, and left me alone with her in the building. I sat in the main hall, trying to pluck up my courage. I'd bought another knife, and I sat there, my face reflected in the blade. My eyes were too dark. It looked like there was nothing but blackness behind them. 

The knife shook as the hand that held it did. 

I was scared.

Well, I'd just have to try not to get scared. Think of Akina. Think of her crying. Think of how scared _she _must have been when they grabbed her. Hope that she didn't remember too much of what they did.

And Chiyo. _If you want to be successful then don't be nice._

That was good. Now the rage was pulsing through my body. I got up and walked towards the door into one of the old offices. Alex was in there, I knew. 

I wrenched open the door, slammed into Alex, and pushed her back against the wall, knife at her throat. It was all done without thinking about it. Like I already knew what to do.

"What the hell are you doing?" Alex's voice was walking a careful line between anger and fear. I saw her eyes flick to the knife. 

"I'm giving you what you deserve."

"What are you talking about?"

"You don't remember me, Alex Gilbert? Oh, dear. That's a pity. I sure remember you. Those wonderful school days…the insults…the bitching…the fun by the river…"

Alex went horribly pale.

"You," she whispered. 

"Me."

"Kellaani," Alex said, still whispering, her ribs rising and falling as she slowly breathed, "Kellaani, please. I'm sorry about Akina. This won't help either of us."

"It won't help you," I said. Putting one hand on her back, I shoved her forward, keeping the knife on her skin. 

"I didn't mean for her to die!" Alex cried out. "I haven't been able to look at the river since it happened! I swear, I didn't know she had asthma –"

"You wanted to frighten her, and you only did it to hurt me." We were walking up the steps to the first balcony now. "Well, you succeeded. Congrats. Now I want to hurt you."

"You're going to kill me?" The words were jerked out like dying breaths.

"No. Not yet."

"The others may notice I'm not there."

We climbed the next flight, up to the second balcony. "I'll tell them what really happened. We went out tagging, and you got caught. Simple."

Alex closed her eyes, then opened them, and took a deep, careful breath. "Don't do this."

We stumbled along to the room I'd found, and I unbolted the door. I gave Alex a shove, and she landed heavily. Scrambling to her feet, she tried to dodge out, but I slapped her, and she fell back. Before she could make another break for it, I'd taken the handcuffs I'd purloined and clicked one round her wrist, and the other to the heating pipe on the wall.

We stared at each other. Hate simmered in the air.

"Fun's over, sweetie," I said. "I'm leader now."

"Then why don't you just kill me?" Alex said.

"Because then I wouldn't be able to do this."

The knife cut well. I'd sharpened it specially. 

"Don't try screaming," I said as I left. "No one will hear you. I've tested."

I slammed the door on her, and rebolted it. I was shivering all over. Exhilaration? Fury? Fear? I didn't know.

I rushed down to the bathroom and got rid of the blood on my fingers, then tucked the knife under the mattress I slept on. Rubbing my eyes to redden them, I dashed out into Shibuya-cho.

The others were lurking round the bus terminal, looking fed up. 

"Guys!" I yelled. "Something – something's happened…"

"What is it, Kell?" Kris looked concerned. I hoped I was convincing them all.

"Alex –" I said, trying to catch my breath. "She – I – we –"

"What?" San rushed over to me, shook my shoulders. "What's happened to my sister?"

"We went out tagging," I said. "I know, I know, we shouldn't have left the HQ empty, but we were bored…I was feeling rotten after no sleep, and I decided I wanted some fresh air after all. Anyway, we knew you guys would be around in this district, so we headed to Benten-cho."

"And?" Dash asked.

"The cops shot at us." I swallowed. "Alex got a bullet in the back of the leg. She fell, and, and they…"

"They've captured her," San said.

I nodded.

"What are we going to do?" Shar said. "Piranha's left. Jay's dead. Babs was fired. And now Alex…"

San pressed a fist to her mouth, which was quickly crumpling into tears. 

"We'll just have to carry on," I said. "We can't let the GGs beat us."

"We just did," Dash said. "They jumped us and they've taken all the paint we had."

"Then we go back and get some more," I said. "We've got just as much right as they have to paint."

"Isn't there anything else we can do?" San shouted. "Like, rescue my sister?"

"San, don't be stupid," Kris snapped. "We try a jailbreak, we end up there ourselves. We're rudies, that's what happens, eventually." She put an arm round San. "I'm sure you'll see her again, but she'd want us to keep going, right? She didn't want the GGs to win either."

San scowled. "Fine. Let's leave her to rot. Just damn well leave her!"

She broke away from Kris and skated off into Center Street.

"Who's the new leader?" Dash asked.

"Not me," Kris said. "And I think San's too young."

"Then Kell should be it, right?" Shar gave me an ingratiating grin. "She's smart, she's tough, and she's been around long enough. Right?"

"I guess so," Dash said. "Could be worse."

"You okay with that, Kellaani?" Kris asked.

"Yeah, that suits me. Thanks, guys."

"So even if San objects," Shar said, "she's been outvoted."

And that was how I became leader of the most pathetic gang in Tokyo-to.

The next day I went out to the bus terminal to find Babs.

She was lurking around under the steps to the bridge, looking even worse than she had before.

"What's going on?" she said. "Have you dealt with her?"

"Yep."

"No way! Really?"

"She's locked up in one of the old offices right now." I kept my voice down. If any of them heard I'd be dead.

"You didn't kill her or anything?" Babs looked disappointed.

"No. Where's the fun in that? This way she's alive to suffer."

"Oh." Babs looked puzzled for a moment, then smiled. "Well, is there anything I can do?"

"If something happens to me, I'll need you to feed her," I said. "I want her alive. She's in an office on the second balcony, the door that's bolted. But only go in when the others are out. And don't kill her, okay?"

"Sure." Babs smirked. I looked at her, wondering if she hated Alex as much as I did. "Can I go visit her myself?"

"If you want." I didn't like talking to Babs. It made the whole situation seem tackier. 

Akina wouldn't like this, something in my brain whispered.

Well, I don't care. She didn't like revenge or hurting people, and look where it got her. Six feet under. I'm not going to end up like that, and I'm going to hurt those who did it to her.

"Kell!"

I looked round. Dash was running towards me.

"I'm off," Babs muttered. "See you around."

"Kell, you've got to get back," she gasped. "Someone's set a bomb in Shibuya-cho. Several, maybe. There's explosions all over Park Street, and…"

"I'm coming," I said. "Babs?"

"I'll be fine," Babs said. "See y'around, Kell."

I followed Dash back to the HQ. We'd just reached it when the ground rocked beneath our feet as an explosion shattered the air. 

"Get inside," I said, and shoved her forward.

The others were cowering in the middle of the hall. 

"Does anyone know what's going on?" I asked.

"I was listening to Jet Set Radio," Kris said. "Prof K said that some freaky gang are attacking the whole city. There's flamethrowers in Benten…and winged machine gunners in Kogane."

"Why? Did someone declare war on Japan and forgot to tell us?"

"Nope. K said it was some sort of group of thugs…Rhinos, or something."

"Rhinos?"

"Don't ask me. I think all we can do is stay inside, and listen."

So that's what we did. Sat around the radio, listening. Outside the floor shook every so often. Once we heard someone screaming.

"Do you think – do you think it is some sort of war?" San said.

No one answered her. I wondered if Babs was all right. I wondered if Alex could feel the explosions up on the second floor. 

Time slowed, became meaningless. Songs blurred together. 

Then suddenly we were all wide awake again, as Professor K said, "And this report from our informant in Benten-cho, the Pink No Shijin! A rudie's tagged the city up and driven the Golden Rhinos mad!"

"Huh?" Dash sat up. "Who'd be dumb enough to do that?"

"We're trying to find out who this crazy punk is. Stay tuned for the latest news on Jet Set Radio!"

'Sneakman' came on, and we stared at each other in amazement. 

"They've gone out there?" Shar said. "It's a bloody war zone!"

"Crazy punk, like the Prof said," Kris answered. "Hope they'll do the same here. Then maybe I can get some fresh air."

As the song finished, we waited.

"We're Tokyo's finest pirate radio station…we're Jet Set Radio! And now the latest news on the street. The cat who put out the Golden Rhino flamethrowers is one of the gang who's been treading on everyone's toes – the GGs!"

The silence turned black with rage.

"Looks like you're ready to take on anyone, guys – news just in from Kogane states that there's a rudie dicing with death there too! Hang on, all you Shibuya fools out there – the GG supermen are gonna save your butts in style!"

"I don't want them to save my butt," Shar snarled. "It would be them, wouldn't it?"

"Of course." I spoke calmly, but I wanted to break something. "They're the perfect ones."

"We're never gonna beat them," San said, lying back on the floor. "Everyone'll love 'em now."

"We don't," I said. "And we can still annoy them, if nothing else."

"Have you got a plan?" Dash asked.

"Not yet. But I'm going to get one. We're gonna bring those GGs down if it takes us all our lives, right?"

"Right," they chorused.

"So hang on and wait. I'll think of something."

Sooner or later.

That night, the others were out in Shibuya, drowning their sorrows. 

I stayed behind. I had to talk to Alex. 

The sky wasn't completely dark. Blood-red clouds streaked a burning sunset, casting an odd orange light onto the ground. Very Hallowe'en style. 

I unbolted the door, and stared down at Alex.

She was crumpled, she was dusty, but she was still staring at me with scorn in her eyes.

"Feel like a big girl now, do we?" she said. 

"Don't get me mad, Gilbert."

"I thought I already did. I thought that was the point." The orange glow seeping through the edge of the shutters ran down her face, making her look like a screenshot.

"Hear what was going on in Shibuya?" I said. 

"I heard explosions."

I shrugged and let her wonder. 

My gang should have been the ones recognised, the ones who were famous. But no. The GGs had got the glory while we'd hidden like rats.

I took out the box of matches, and saw Alex tense up.

"Scared?" I said.

She didn't answer. Her eyes were focused on that box and only that. 

_Find out what scares them…what burns their minds, _Chiyo whispered in my head.

Gently I struck the match. It sounded loud in the small space. Alex's hands curled into fists.

I brought it down so that it licked the pale skin of her hand. 

She screamed, one short sharp scream. I'd never heard her sound like that before.

"Oops," I said. "Did I hurt you?"

Alex didn't answer. She was trembling. 

I got to my feet. That had made me feel better. The GGs may have got to me, but I'd got to Alex. Boy, had I got to her.

I rebolted the door behind me, and stood there, looking out over the light-filled hall. Safe again. They couldn't get to me.

I walked back down onto the ground floor, sat down in the orange glow bathing the floor. Safe. Safe. Yes.

I don't know when I slipped from waking to dreams. All I know is suddenly I was trapped in a nightmare again, unable to even move this time as I was broken up, trying to scream and my mouth was frozen…

They woke me up. Thank god. 

Who are you kidding, Kell? He may be dead, but you're not safe and you never will be. Never again. 

"Kell?" Dash was speaking. "I think we ought to put the radio on again."

"Why?"

"There's some rumour flying around about a demon, and the GGs are involved…"

"Oh, lord, not again!" I wrenched on the radio. 

Professor K was sickeningly cheerful.

"This is Professor K, captain and DJ of your hard-walking, truth-talking, always squawking guerilla broadcaster – Jet Set Radio! Goji Rokkaku located a record that's got the power to summon a demon, and he's planning to start the evil right now! The GGs are on the case –"

We all groaned.

"And all the nation can do is wait as a bunch of street punks try and save the world!"

"A record that can summon a demon?" Dash said. "Talk about a dumb story."

"I don't know…" Kris looked thoughtful. "You know the GGs put three of ours out of action, before you all joined?"

"Yeah." Shar twisted a lock of pink hair round her fingers. "So?"

"Jay had a piece of record that someone had given her. She gave it to Brek – one of the ones the GGs knocked out. After Brek got tagged, she said the GGs had taken it off her."

"So?"

"I saw the piece. It was black and it had a devil on it. You don't think – someone knew about what it could do and tried to destroy it?"

"Why would they give it to someone else, then?" Dash asked. "Why not just smash it?"

Kris shrugged.

"Where did Jay say she got the record from?"

"She said some guy had given it to her, told her to keep it hidden and safe. That's all."

"I wonder if he gave bits to any other gangs," I said. "I would."

"Oh, what does it matter?" San said. "What matters is what's happening now. I wish K'd stop playing songs and tell us what's happening!"

'Miller Ball Breakers' rattled to a halt, and Professor K's voice blared out again. "This is your very own –"

"It's Jet Set Radio! We know!" Dash snarled.

"The GGs are up on the Rokkaku building! All ten of 'em!"

"Ten?" Shar said. "Where'd the other four come from?"

"The Pink no Shijin tells us there's something breathing fire, but no one's been roasted yet –"

"Pity," Shar said.

"This could be it, folks, so make your peace with your loved ones! There's some way creepy music coming off that tower. Looks like Goji's plan is succeeding…"

There was a pause. I wondered if this actually was going to be the end of the world. Surely not. Records couldn't summon demons. 

I wonder what Coin would think of that?

I remembered him showing me his collection…_I have no idea how that got there…they're like bits of history…it wasn't too cool, in fact it was pretty warped…_

That record had had demons on it too. 

Could it be? a voice whispered inside me. Could it be that he'd found the record Goji had now? Could it be that he'd brought it to Tokyo-to? That he was here now?

Stop it, I told myself. He doesn't love you, remember? He chose Cube.

Nausea rose in my mouth as I remembered that humiliation. I wanted to hurt. Hurt that stupid Goth whore and show her what it felt like to have someone kick you down. I hate you, I thought to her. I hate you so much.

We'd all grown silent. K wasn't playing any music. He wasn't commentating either. Just waiting, like us. Outside I could hear running feet. I got up and walked over to the window. 

The sky seemed to be boiling, looking like it would splash over the horizon and flood us any minute. I could just see the Rokkaku tower in the distance, glowing with some weird light. There was something on there – something big and burning –

Suddenly the ground shook. There was a bang so loud I could hardly hear it. The huge thing on the roof started to leak light, then imploded, sending a golden corona across the sky.

The tower trembled.

Behind me, K started up again.

"Something big's happening round Rokkaku way! We can still see the GGs – they're trying to tag Goji – the tower's shaking, folks, hope all you office workers got out earlier!"

He was right. The tower was swaying from side to side, tiny specks of rubble flying from it. 

"I hope they did," San said.

"Would you stay in a building with all this happening at the top?" Kris said. "Don't worry. I'm sure they're safe."

"They've tagged Goji," K said suddenly, "and he's fallen! Goji's fallen from the roof! Guys, you better get off there yourselves, or you're gonna be GG pizza in two seconds!"

"No, stay on there, and give us all a break," Dash said.

The Rokkaku tower swayed even more – then – slowly, like a child's toy, a film effect, a dying dancer – it crumbled – bent – and collapsed, vanishing into the rooftops of the city.

We stared at each other, faces amazed in the darkness, as K said, "And the GGs are coming off the tower…yes…we can see 'em…looking a bit dusty, but there's ten of 'em, they're alive!"

Dash sarcastically punched the air. 

"This might even get Onishima off their backs for a while! Guys, we owe ya big time!"

There was the sound of cheering, which metamorphosed into 'Sweet Soul Brother.' It echoed up to the factory ceiling, the only sound in the HQ.

"Think of a plan, Kell," Shar said at last. "I don't think I can take this much longer."

(R+r please!)


	10. The Return OfSeveral

Chapter 10 – The Return Of…Several

(You know who I own, and it isn't JSR. Please r+r!)

It was two weeks since Goji Rokkaku had died, but things hadn't got any better. The GGs were now firmly established as The Gang Who Owned Shibuya-Cho. And boy, did they know it. The only thing that made me feel better was seeing Alex. At least there was someone I'd taken power from. 

But I wasn't going to let up. Every day we went out into Shibuya. Every day we tagged the place. Every day one of them stole our paint, taunted us, sent us scurrying home. Every day we vowed revenge.

But how? I mulled the thought over as I tagged the side of a bus. The sun glinted on my paint can, dazzling me. They were too strong. Trying to beat them by conventional means wouldn't work.

But what were unconventional means?

Nearly finished the tag. It was going to be a hot day. Already the air was blistering.

Suddenly I realised I could hear voices, coming from the other side of the bus.

"Why don't Love Shockers eat pickles?"

"Please, Gum, no more jokes," another girl said.

"Anyway, that's just a customized blonde joke." This voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite place it.

"No, just this last one."

"Oh, all right. Tell me why Love Shockers don't eat pickles."

"Because they get their heads stuck in the jars."

Someone tittered. Someone else groaned.

GGs. I gritted my teeth, hearing the molars scrape against each other, and increased my tagging speed. 

Someone slammed into me and knocked me off my feet. The paint flew out of my hand and clattered across the ground. A white-gloved hand scooped it up, and a sharp female voice said, "Thanks, honey. Always appreciate donations to our funds."

I looked up. Four figures stood over me. 

"Four against one?" I said, sliding into a sitting position. "Not scared, are you?"

"No. It's just we all enjoy seeing you guys sprawling." The girl folded her arms across the front of her green and white minidress. 

"Can't get your kicks from anyone else?" 

Her eyes narrowed. She had strong features, that depending on the light could be painfully ugly or amazingly beautiful. Blonde hair sticking out from under her helmet. And strength. No wilting flower personae for this babe.

"Look, just stop coming here, okay?" The second girl's voice was much higher, a cutesy bunches look-at-me tone. "This is our turf. Not yours. Sorry." She rolled her eyes, then surreptitiously checked her makeup, which was white foundation and blue stripes, in the bus window. 

The blonde girl elbowed her in the ribs, and she turned back to face me. She wore a tight blue dress, stripy tights, and pink skates.

There were two other girls, but I couldn't get a look at them. 

"Your friend's right," I said to the blue girl. "Don't bother fixing your face, there really is no point."

She scowled at me. "Bitch."

"Like, you're one to talk about looking bad," one of the other girls said.

I froze.

That voice. 

Quickly I said, "Whoever told you blue lipstick fitted your face was horribly wrong."

I hadn't seen her face. But I took a gamble she'd have kept the same look.

"I could say the same for you."

Cube stepped into view.

"Oh, geez, not you, Goth girl." I couldn't see for the black hate swimming over my eyes. 

"I don't care if you have a problem with my look," Cube said coolly. "I don't much like yours either. And as for going round griping about some guy leaving you – that is pathetic. Whoever he was, he's better off without you."

She doesn't recognise me, I thought dizzily. Once again, someone wasn't looking behind the mask. Well, that could be good. 

"Just – just get out," the last girl said.

Now that voice was really familiar. 

I gaped as Piranha flicked back long, brown hair, smoothed the hips of her white flares, and stared me down.

"Just go," she said. "You guys are pathetic. Just go."

She meant it. She knew I knew who she was. 

"Get out, broken heart." The blonde girl shook my paint can. There was hatred in her face, and that puzzled me. "Or I'll paint you a new face."

I wanted to stay. I wanted to fight. But I didn't want to get knocked out of rudie life for good.

I sneered at them, got up, and skated away.

I couldn't remember feeling so angry before in my life. Hatred of the two GGs I didn't know was mingling with the yearning for utter annihilation of the two I did.

Piranha, that traitor.

And Cube.

Just you wait, I said to her silently. I'm going to make you pay for all of this. 

I trailed down towards Center Street, past the square. People looked round as I passed, then moved away. Fine, I told them. Do that. See if I care.

Suddenly I didn't want to be here any more. Shibuya was too cheery. It didn't fit my gloom. Only one place did.

Back to Kogane-cho.

The heat was rising now. Kogane smelt of mouldy rubbish, old food, stagnant water. My head pounded like a prisoner kicking at the inside of my skull. 

I deliberately didn't walk to my old house. Instead I headed to Akina's, and stood outside it, wondering if any of them missed her.

I wondered where she was buried.

The front door opened and her sisters came out, arm in arm. They weren't twins, but boy did they act like it. 

They saw me standing at their driveway, and I saw their faces grow cold.

"What are you doing here?" one of them hissed.

"I came to see what the old place was like." Did they recognise me?

"Why would you do that? You never lived here, did you?"

I thought I detected a note of unease in her voice.

"I lived in this district," I said. 

"Who are you?" the other sister demanded.

"Just someone who loved your sister."

"We don't care about her," the younger girl said. "Mum says we should, but we don't."

"Your brother did."

The older sister spat on the ground. "Well, he's gone now."

"What did you do? Polish him off and bury him under the lawn?"

"He ran off, ages ago," she replied. "He's a rudie just like you." 

"Couldn't take the guilt?"

"He was always weak."

I stared at them, trying to see some humanity in their faces. I didn't succeed.

"What's with you two?" I asked. "He was your brother. He was on your side."

"He threatened to turn us in," the younger one said. "We had to make him leave."

"Oh, and how'd you do that?"

"Well, he knows we're good at hurting others," the older one said. "We turned on him. Sorted him out a little. Once we said we'd tell our mum he'd killed our sister, he decided to quit."

"You are a bitch," I said.

"And you're not? Alex Gilbert sure hated your guts."

Enough of this. I slapped her. Then stepped back, and waited. 

The girl stood with her hand to her face, looking baffled. I smirked. Then she leapt at me. Her nails were long. They ripped into my skin. 

I shoved her, and she stumbled back, feet trampling the family flowerbed. 

"Come on," I said. "You want a fight? I'll give you a fight. Meet me tonight, ten p.m. Park Street in Shibuya. On the half-built motorway."

"Whatever you say. I'll kill you."

"Many have tried, sugar."

I blew her a kiss and watched them walk past me. I didn't move until I was sure they were gone. I didn't trust them one inch.

I wasn't sure whether I'd win this fight. But I had to try. Those two were…were creepy, basically. They'd made Akina's life a misery more than anyone else had. They deserved everything I could give them.

Fast forward to ten o'clock. Shibuya-cho was dark and silent. 

I stood on the motorway, a knife in my hand. Waiting. A few feet in front of me yawned a black chasm. A gap which the builders hadn't got round to bridging. 

On my right, below the edge of the motorway, was the playground. The swings creaked in the night breeze. 

No cars. This road wasn't ready for them yet.

The smell of the night air cleared my head. I wished I could go back home. But I wasn't – couldn't – back down. 

I heard footsteps, far away, coming up the steps to the half-pipe. I turned to look – and suddenly someone had leapt on me from behind.

I dropped, and stabbed upwards. There was a yelp as my blade connected with flesh. Something sharp bit onto my shoulder, and I felt dampness seeping into my crop top. 

I stabbed again. This time I felt the knife sink in, and I turned to face Akina's older sister.

"That was a low trick," I said. 

She rubbed blood off her face. "Worked, though. You still up for it?"

"You bet."

We circled. Both blades shot out at the same time, and scraped down each other. She dodged to the side, I leapt sideways just in time to avoid a knife in the ribs. 

Both breathing heavily now, we watched and waited. Her face had gone wooden, her thoughts were hidden. She lunged out at me, and I felt the blade rip down my arm. 

Trying not to look at the darkness covering my skin, I hit out at her, and she yelped as I nicked her cheekbone. 

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the younger sister sitting on one of the crash barriers, watching us like it was on TV. What was with her? I thought. What was with them both?

Thinking was a mistake. My opponent's fist hit me, and I fell backwards onto the floor. She leapt on me, raised the knife –

I stabbed for her heart. She rolled off me and I jumped to my feet. Behind my heels the playground waited. 

She pushed me.

I fell over the wall, cried out as I hit the ground. She jumped down to stand next to me. "Give up?"

I got to my feet. I was feeling bruised, but no need to tell her that. "Nope."

We were back to circling now. The blood was pounding in my ears. I wasn't noticing my surroundings any more. It was time to fight. 

The end came quickly. 

She tried to stab me. I dodged to the side, and as she stumbled, I grabbed the back of her collar, and thrust the knife between her ribs. 

She dropped. 

I stood there, waiting, trying to catch my breath, feeling alive all over, my shoulders rising, my heart pounding in my chest, the cuts throbbing. 

She didn't get up. 

"Is that enough?" I whispered to the sky. "Akina? Do you want me to stop?"

Silence. 

She wouldn't like you doing this, I thought. 

"What have you done?" The younger sister's voice was flat.

"I won. And you know it was a fight to the death."

She climbed over the wall, down the elephant slide, and dropped down next to her sister's body. No tears. She just took the dead girl's hand, stroked it, and said nothing.

I turned and walked away. By the time I got back to the HQ I was crying. Akina would _hate _you, I thought. You know she would. 

But what else could I have done?

I pressed a fist to my mouth. No tears. No tears, not now.

I walked into the building. I could tell it was empty as soon as I arrived. There was a note pinned to one of the office doors. _Gone partying in Benten. Back very late – if at all!_

Don't wait for me or anything, I thought. 

I walked up to the second floor balcony, and unbolted the door.

"I see you've got an ally," Alex said coolly.

"Hmm?"

"Babs. She came today. Helped me a little."

I noticed someone had bandaged the cut on her arm. Oh, well. Better she be kept alive. And conscious. Conscious enough to suffer.

After I'd finished with Alex, I walked back downstairs, and turned on the radio. The music echoed up into the darkness, making me feel even more gloomy than I already was, if that was possible. 

"Laani?" someone whispered.

I jumped. Only one person called me that. "Akina?" I called. "Is that you?"

"I suppose it is – yes." 

I jumped to my feet. "Where are you?"

"I'm here."

She stepped forward. She was just like she'd always been, but she looked – well, she looked more real than the stuff behind her. Like we were all a dimension behind her. I can't explain it. 

I hurried towards her. "I missed you – I missed you so much –"

Our hands met. Hers were like glass. Beautiful, perfect – and icy cold. I stared into her eyes. They were different too. The fear she'd always had was gone. 

"Laani, why are you so angry with them?"

I knew what she was talking about. "They killed you. Akina, they killed you!"

"I know they did, Laani, but they didn't mean to."

"Your sisters did."

"You can't blame them for that. They're not right in the head themselves. There's a demon in them both. And Alex didn't mean to."

"I can't help it," I said. "I miss you. I miss you like crazy."

She hugged me, but it wasn't like the real Akina. It was like being hugged by cool sunlight. 

"I miss you too," she said. "One day we'll be together again. Please, stop hurting people because of me."

She began to shimmer, and become transparent.

"Akina," I said, hearing my voice tremble. "Please – please don't go!"

"I have to. I'm not meant to be here."

"I need you!"

"I'm sorry, Laani…" she whispered, and she was gone.

I blinked. Blinked again. I was lying on the floor. Akina was gone.

It was only a dream, you idiot. She's never coming back. Never. Never. Acidic tears pooled in my eyes. 

"Kell? Kell, come on!"

Quickly I scrubbed my hands across my face, smiled, and said, "Yeah?" My voice didn't wobble. Good thing.

"Come on." It was Dash. "They're waiting for you in Benten."

"Why'd you come back for me?"

"I thought you might want in on the action – geez, what happened to your arm?"

It was bleeding still from the fight.

"I ran into some trouble in Park Street. It's been taken care of. I'll just go sort this out."

I performed a spot of first aid on myself, then hurried to join Dash. My emotions felt shaken. Akina had come and then she'd gone and it had hurt so much, felt like someone had stuck a blade in my ribs and dragged down through the bones and muscles, splintering, blood pouring out over my chest, leaving me split open and dying.

But I couldn't tell the others that. 

We hurried to downtown Benten, where the others were waiting.

"This is the GGs' turf," I said, seeing the paint cans they all held.

Shar smirked. "Exactly. Let's annoy someone."

"Right," I said. "Shar, Dash, you stay on the ground. Kris and I'll go up to the rooftops. San, you be lookout for those two, okay?"

"I don't want to be lookout," San said. "Why d'you always give me the baby jobs?"

"Because you're the worst skater," I snapped. "Now shut up."

San pulled a face at me, but she kept her mouth shut.

"Come on," I said to Kris. "Let's paint the town red."

We hurried into a building, up a short flight of steps, and out onto the roof, where we both began tagging. 

"Kell, are you okay?" Kris asked as we worked.

"Yeah. Why shouldn't I be?"

"You look – uh – kinda upset."

"Nah, I just got dust in my eyes." Damn Akina. Why did she have to get to me like that?

"A 911 call reports reckless skating in Benten." The words droned over 'Miller Ball Breakers.' "All officers rush to the scene. I repeat…"

"Nuts." Kris sighed. "I knew it was too quiet."

"Let's carry on," I said. "You know the cops have problems with heights. The other three can beat it if they feel it's necessary."

We both leapt and ground onto a pole curving away from the roof, and sped over Benten-cho. Below me I saw cops rushing out of the subway entrance. 

"Run!" I yelled as the pole curved and Shar, Dash and San came into view. "Move it!"

Shar and Dash did. San flipped me off, took out her paint, and began finishing off Shar's tag.

Kris and I leapt off onto a roof, and I yelled, "Are you crazy?"

Too late.

The cops leapt on her like iron filings to a magnet. San struggled, but they'd got her all right. I watched as she was cuffed and marched off into one of the cars. Great. Just great. 

"Get out of here," I said to Kris. "Hide on the roofs till they've gone if you have to. I'll go find the others."

Kris nodded, and dashed away.

What about Shar and Dash? 

They were hurrying from the scene. As I watched, they leapt onto an air shaft and ground up onto the roof a few feet along from me. I hurried to meet them.

"San got nabbed," Dash said. "We'd better get out of here."

"Where're we aiming for?"

"If we get over to the walkways," Shar panted, "we can get back into Shibuya. They mightn't follow us there."

"So we need to get to the subway? There's a cop car parked across it."

"Then we jump," Dash said. "The longer we stay here, the riskier it is."

"Oh, the GGs are gonna love this," Shar said. "Can't we go through the square?"

"Nuh-uh. Thanks to our friendly neighbourhood Keisatsu, that route's closed. They've locked the gates to the railway."

"Shit." I tried to think. "Okay, then, make a break for the subway. Try and jump over the car."

"I'll go first," Dash said, and dived off the roof. 

We watched as she dashed towards the subway. I willed her to get through. If she got caught – if we all did – 

I decided not to think about that. 

Clouds of mustard-coloured gas billowed out around her. Coughing, she tried to skate on, but she'd lost. In seconds she'd been grabbed and in a minute, she was off the street and into a car.

"Damn," Shar muttered. "A SWAT team. Why didn't they announce it?"

"Maybe they're getting smart at last." 

"We may as well go together, then," Shar said. "We can help each other up and stuff."

We jumped. 

The ground hit my feet with a jarring scrape, and we began to run. 

"Over there!"

The shout seemed far away, but then we heard the fat, barking shots of the SWAT team, and the gas sprang up around us like mushrooms. It burned at my throat and eyes, and I tried to keep skating even as I coughed and coughed, my ribs heaving as they struggled to help me breathe. Through a brown fog I saw Shar stumble, rushed over to her, pulled her to her feet, but now our way was blocked by the cop car and we hadn't got half enough momentum.

Shar cried out as they grabbed her. I dodged another cop, and tried to shimmy round the vehicle. The driver was watching me, a nasty smirk on his face.

A familiar smirk.

I froze. 

This was obviously not a wise move. Hands closed on my wrists, pulled them behind my back, and cold metal closed over them. But I was hardly thinking about that. They shoved me into the car, and now I tried not to look at the driver, because if I did – if I was right – I would be toast.

Who'd have thought Shiro really could come back from the dead?

  



	11. Sex, Lies And

Chapter 11 – Sex, Lies and…

(Well, thanx for r+ring! Interesting to see your thoughts on Shiro…you've actually thought up a much better plot twist than I've actually got! Oh, well, hope you'll enjoy it anyway. Don't own JSR, etc etc…r+r!)

I'm sitting in a police car, hands cuffed behind my back. On one side of me is Shar, still struggling for breath. On the other Benten rolls past the windows. In front of me are two cops. One of them I don't know. The other I'm praying I don't.

I don't want to look at him. If I catch his eye, he might recognise me. But I can't stop glancing, quickly, up at the driver's mirror, trying to see his face.

Cube and Alex didn't recognise you, I told myself. 

But Shiro's smart. And he must be looking for you. He probably checks out every girl rudie he catches.

What the hell is he doing here anyway? He's supposed to be dead!

I thought back, remembered the door opening – how angry I'd felt – how I'd grabbed that Arabian knife off the bedside table – he'd ripped off the covers – and I'd stabbed. There'd been blood. He'd groaned. He'd fallen. 

But had he died?

I watched the driver's face, heart pounding, hoping that somehow it wouldn't be Shiro, that somehow I'd see that it wasn't him, that his face would change, that I'd be safe.

Nothing happened.

"Don't worry," Shar whispered to me. "Worse things happen at sea, right?"

I managed to smile. "If you say so."

I glanced up at the mirror again, and met his eyes. They looked smug.

Quickly I dropped my head and tried to think calmly. No good. He had me at his mercy. I had no safety. No safety at all.

We screeched to a halt in front of the police station, and were dragged out of the car. Shiro took Shar. I watched his back as he walked in front of me. It looked depressingly familiar. 

I wanted to cry, whimper like a baby, run and hide in a corner. Maybe it wouldn't do much, but my calm face was beginning to shatter at the edges. My eyes were twitching as tears tried to force their way out, and I could feel my whole body trembling.

The strip lights in the station made me screw up my eyes as we entered, and a strong smell of coffee, sweat and ink rolled up and choked me. They took us down to a corridor lined with cells. I kept my eyes on the mould-coloured floor as the door was unlocked, concentrated on the relief I felt as my hands were freed. There was a metallic slam as the door shut behind me, and I looked round to see the other three Love Shockers, looking fed up.

"Hey," Shar said. "Welcome to the first step."

"First step?"

"On the long road to paying the debt to society. We're really in trouble now. And the GGs are gonna love it." 

"Come on, guys," San said. "Look on the bright side."

"What fucking bright side?" Dash had a black eye, and it made her look even more tough than normal. "We have been arrested. There is absolutely no way we'll get off. We will be packed off to some detention centre for the best years of our lives, and when we come out we'll be too old and too weak to ever skate again. There is no bright side, Gilbert."

San sighed, and let her head sink. 

We sat there for what seemed like ages, listening to the bustle of the police station carrying on around us. Someone shouting. Click of computer keys. In a cell a few down from ours a prisoner was singing off-key. The front door slamming back against the wall every time it was opened. 

Where was he? My mind thrummed the question over and over again, like a pianist picking out the same three notes. Where was he?

My hands were curling into fists, fists ringed with the marks of the handcuffs. But I couldn't care about prison. All my fear was fixated on him.

Footsteps. I jumped inside, but forced my body to stay still. 

"You." A female voice. I slowly let out my breath. "Come on. The Captain wants to see you."

San got to her feet and slouched across to the bars. I heard the rattle of keys, the door creaked, then slammed shut again.

"Wonder why?" Shar said.

"He wants to see if she can tell him anything," Dash said. "About rudies. Captain Onishima hates rudies, remember?"

I wanted to talk, prove I wasn't scared, but my mouth seemed frozen. Behind my eyes my mind ran in small terrified circles.

Waiting. More waiting. Rattle of the door, and San was shoved back inside. She was shivering, and I could see she was near tears.

"Well?" Dash asked. "What did he say?"

San shrugged and sat down on the bench next to me. "Just – just the usual crap. How if I don't blab everything I know I'll be in jail for the rest of – the rest of my life."

"And did you?"

"Huh?"

"Blab," Shar said.

"I just said he'd captured all my gang and there was nothing left to tell. I just kept saying that, I just wouldn't say anything else."

I couldn't handle this. Any minute I was going to shatter, and they'd all stare and ask what was wrong, and then they'd know how weak I really was. The power would be gone. I drew a short, sharp breath. Calm. Calm. 

The footsteps returned, and Dash was marched out. 

"Maybe we'll see Alex again," Shar said to San. "You never know."

I tried not to gulp. 

"I wish I wasn't here," San said.

"We all do." I wanted to push her. "Stop whining, okay?"

"Calm down, Kell," Shar said. 

I scowled at her and turned away. If only I could tell them why I was frightened. They could help me – 

No. They'd think I was a freak.

_No one will feel sorry for you, Kelly. _

Dash was brought back now, and Shar was taken out.

"Well?" San asked.

Dash rolled her eyes. "He yelled at me some, but I've handled much worse than him. You guys'll be fine."

I wished I could go to sleep, and wake up somewhere – anywhere – else.And then Shar was brought back, and they called to me.

I stood up and walked over to the bars. They cuffed me again, then took me out of the cell and down the corridor. 

Seeing Onishima mightn't be so bad. Better than seeing Shiro. Much better. 

I was pulled right, towards a closed office door. Nearly there. 

Then footsteps behind me, and he said, "I'd like to speak to this one, if that's all right?"

"The captain's waiting for her."

"Tell him I'll hand her over in a second."

I wanted to scream, to struggle, to fight, but I couldn't move. My ears were ringing with fright. Dimly I felt a hand on my arm, dragging me forward, into another office, but my vision was blurring and I couldn't pick out any details. 

I was shoved down into a chair. It was dark. I couldn't see a thing. 

Then his voice came out of the blackness.

"Good to see you again, Kelly."

"I don't know what you mean. That's not my name." The words came from a part of my brain that had decided to take matters into its own hands. The rest of my mind was frozen.

"Don't pretend. I saw your face in the car."

"I don't care what you saw. I'm not who you think I am."

My mind raced, trying to see if there was anything that would give him conclusive proof. I imagine his was doing the same thing. 

"My wife won't, I imagine, be too pleased to see you."

"Why should I care about what your wife thinks of me?"

"Well, she is your mother."

"You married my mother?"

_Shit!_

I could smell the triumph in his voice. "Yes, Kelly. After she found me bleeding in your room, she realised how much she cared for me."

I bit back tears, stared out of the office window. A single streetlamp shone through it, turning everything orange and black, glaring on the surfaces of the walls and furniture. Alone in the night.

She'd gone with him. She'd left me to go with him. 

"Where were you, anyway?" he asked. "I scoured Tokyo-to for you."

"None of your business where I was."

"My congratulations if you managed to leave the country. Attempted murder can be a difficult thing to escape from."

"Why aren't you dead?" I hissed.

He laughed, came closer to me. The chair dug uncomfortably into my back. "You have the spirit to kill, but you don't have the biological knowledge. You missed my heart. And most other vital organs. I cried out, and your mother came up to me. She called an ambulance, and they saved my life. Wonderful, isn't it?"

I couldn't speak.

"The problem for you is basically that I can prove that you are Fuyutsuri Kellaani, and then you can be charged with my attempted murder."

"Then I'll tell them just why I did it." 

"Do you really think anyone will believe you? The news is full of stories of women crying rape when the allegations are false. A good lawyer could paint a picture of a teenage girl fanatically jealous of her mother's new focus of affections – a girl who was already going off the rails – a girl who had a reputation for violence at school – a girl who finally snapped and stabbed out when the victim was saying goodnight to her."

His voice was smooth and very, very convincing. I felt panic rising up my throat. To stop a scream, I spoke. "So will you?"

"What?"

"Turn me in." 

"I don't know. I haven't decided yet." Suddenly he grabbed my shirt, hauled me to my feet. "You need a lesson taught you –" His hand caught my face, and I stumbled back. "But I haven't decided what that lesson should be."

"If you charge me with attempted murder," I snarled, "I'll tell and tell until everyone in the world knows what you did. Someone will believe me. And that someone will know you're a lying, cheating, two-timing bastard who gets his kicks from raping teenage girls, and then your career will snowball, and then –"

He hit me again, and this time it hurt. I tasted blood in my mouth, welling round my teeth. 

"And what will happen to you, Kelly?" he said, still quietly, but rage throbbing in his voice. "If you're found guilty, you'll get a life sentence if you're lucky. And you have to admit, the odds are stacked against you. You have no money of your own. No way to post bail. No way to get a good lawyer. You're already known to be a member of a group of vandals. Your schoolfriends could testify that you were violent towards them. Your mother will say anything to see you punished –"

I gritted my teeth, dug them into my lip.

"And, after all, you are guilty. We know that justice prevails."

"What's your point, Shiro?" I said, pulling my mind away from the fear aroused by his words. "What do you want me to do?"

"I know what you're going to do. You're going to plead guilty to attempted murder, and take what's coming to you."

"Fuck you. I'm not doing anything you tell me," I hissed.

That was a mistake. He slapped me round the face, twice, and then his hands reached down my shirt. Before I could do anything he was on me. 

What word shall I use for it this time? I don't know. It hurt, it hurt more than it had before, or so I could remember. The pain went right through me, scraped my back. It was dark. I couldn't see anything. That made my other senses stronger, and that was bad. I remember little things. Clothes rustling. My hands damp with sweat. A car rushing past outside the window, burning us with light. 

He dropped me. I lay on the ground, aching all over, cold, not knowing if I was crying or not.

"Tidy yourself," he said. "The captain wants to see you."

I didn't move, and he kicked me.

"Don't try blabbing to him," he said as I straightened my clothes. "Onishima hates rudies, the most of any of us. He doesn't care what happens to you, so don't play the pity game."

I got to my feet, chest hurting from holding back tears. I wouldn't, I wouldn't cry. 

My mind was ricocheting off my skull as I tried to find a way out of this mess. I felt crazy, light-headed, scrambled. Maybe it was because of that that I thought of the plan.

Onishima's office was lighter. Shadows clustered in the corners and under the furniture, but at least I could see what was going on. Shiro shoved me down into a chair in front of Onishima's desk, then left.

Could I really do this? I thought. 

Oh, come on. It can't be that hard.

"So, anything you want to tell me?" Onishima glared at me across the paper-covered desk. I quickly tried to forget how bad I'd felt a minute ago. Confidence was going to be the key here. 

"Only that you're the best-looking guy I've ever seen." I gently ran the tip of my tongue along my lips, and smirked inside as Onishima preened. Guys were all the same.

"Anything else? I guess you should know rudies who are helpful can sometimes receive lighter sentences." 

He was mellowing towards me, I could see. Good. I ran my eyes over his body, noting with resignation the coffee stains on his shirt, the stubble speckling his chin, his dusty eyes. 

"Well…I don't know. I mean, I could hardly sell my mates out, now could I?" I scooted the chair nearer to his desk. 

"Then it's the Juvie Skaters Correctional Facility for you –"

"I could handle that," I murmured, and gazed up at him through my eyelashes. 

"Listen, you little bitch – " He got up quickly, came round and gripped the front of my shirt. I mentally punched the air. Close contact. The rest would be – should be – easy. 

Was I really gonna get away with this?

Confidence, girl. 

Quickly I raised my head, and pressed my lips to his. He smelt of coffee, of doughnuts, of morning breath. I closed my eyes and let the businesslike part of myself take over. His stubble scratched my face.

Finally I let him go. As he staggered I got to my feet. Now I was taller than him. Moving quickly, I pulled off his trenchcoat, unbuttoned his shirt. Running my hands down his hairy chest, I rolled my eyes as he shivered and grasped me round the waist, his hands groping and pawing at my shorts.

As I felt him pull them down I kissed him again, this time slipping my tongue into his mouth, and caressing his. This was not fun, in case you're wondering. But oddly enough, it wasn't as bad as I'd thought it would be. At least this time I was the one calling the shots. 

We moved back against the desk. His hands moved to my top, and under it. His rough fingers pulled at my nipples, and I resisted the urge to tell him that I wasn't a radio and didn't need tuning. Let the guy think he was Casanova. Best get this over with.

Quickly I unzipped his flies, and then opened my legs and let him enter me, kissing him as it happened. My eyes roamed around the room, glancing over the piles of paperwork, the dying lamp, the coffee mouldering on a shelf. Hardly the Ritz, but then he was hardly Mr Right.

In, out, in, out. I counted the thrusts off in my mind. Presumably he'd not go on any longer than any of the others. Shiro had been horrible. Coin had been bliss. This guy was merely rather yucky. 

He gasped out as he came – I felt every muscle in him tense – then go limp. He moved away from me, looked at me, and I gave him a long, slow grin.

He didn't return it. He was dressing himself with an expression composed of horror, disgust and fury. Calmly I straightened my clothes.

"Was that good enough for you?" I said. And mentally I crossed him off my To Do list.

"You –"

"Everyone knows girls can't rape guys," I said. My hands were trembling, but with triumph, not fear. Compared to Shiro this would be easy. "If I was to go public, absolutely no blame would attach to me, right?"

He glared at me. "No one'd believe you."

"There _is _such a thing as medical evidence, you know." I studied my nails. "DNA. Sperm samples." If they didn't find his, they'd find Shiro's. Win-win.

"Even if you somehow removed that, people would start getting curious about what was going on in this police station. Just why you were so desperate to catch rudies. Especially female ones." I raised my eyebrows, and looked him full in the face.

"You say one word and I'll make sure you spend the rest of your life behind bars," he said.

"Calm down. I don't want to spoil your rep. I just want you to help me."

"How?" He slumped in his chair. I felt almost sorry for him. Almost.

"Well, stop nabbing any more of my gang, for a start," I said. Kris was still out there. She could keep the Love Shockers going until I got out myself. If I did.

"You all dress the same?"

"Yeah. Let us tag all we want. Don't attack us in any way." That should even the odds between us and the GGs.

"And?"

"Well, I have a little problem with one of the other officers," I said. "He said he'd fix me up for murder any day, and as I'm a street punk I haven't exactly got the legal skills to avoid that. Anything you can do?"

Please, please say yes.

"Who is this other cop?" he asked. 

"Hokuju Shiro," I said. "He's married to my mother. He's always felt resentful of me." And he's not the only one who can twist the truth.

"You really think I'm gonna listen to you?" Onishima said. There was a strong tone of bravado in his voice. 

"I'm just asking," I said. If he didn't listen, I was dead. Maybe literally. "Listen, you don't have to free me. If you get Shiro to drop the attempted murder charges, I'll go onto the Rudie Centre or whatever it is. I'll keep my ears open. Anything you want to know about, I'll try and find out about. That could be useful. Rudies won't tell you much, but we trust each other."

"Looking at you I got no idea why."

"What do you say?" I forced down the desperation in my voice. "I can't see any disadvantages. You don't get any nasty rumours about…stuff…and you get a free spy, and I don't get sent down for life and Shiro's off my back."

He narrowed his eyes. "You'll keep your mouth shut?"

"If you keep Shiro from getting at me. I get slammed for murder or anything like it, or he hurts me some other way, I blab."

"If you blab, I tell him he can do what he likes with you."

"Then it's a deal." I smiled. "So, you finished talking to me, Captain?" 

(That was not a fun thing to write…I'm gonna go scrub myself clean…please r+r though, please!)

  



	12. Jailbird

Chapter 12 – Jailbird

(You know the disclaimer! Please r+r.)

Prison is totally not cool.

That was the thought that reverberated through my head after the first week of it.

I lay on the bottom bunk bed in my cell, cool draughts rushing in under the blanket and pinching the soles of my feet. A faint light filtered in through the yellowing plastic over the barred window. Unbreakable. Duh. 

I suppose I was lucky in that, thanks to my work with Onishima, I was in the Juvenile Skaters' Correctional Facility rather than a plain old women's prison for attempted murderers, but it was difficult to see it that way.

I was sharing a cell with a Noise Tank (white uniform) and a skater-who-didn't-belong-to-Poison-Jam-Noise-Tanks-or-Love-Shockers (yellow uniform.) I got a pink uniform. Matched my hair, sort of. 

The building was never, ever quiet. Someone always had a screaming fit, and doors slammed throughout the night, and footsteps bounced up and down the corridors. At least that stopped me thinking too much. I'd hit rock bottom now. A failed rudie. A spy and traitor. A member of a gang which had been decimated. A slut.

I didn't know how long I was in here for. This, apparently, was some bright spark's latest idea for depressing captured rudies. If you didn't know how long your sentence was going to last for, you couldn't plan, couldn't cross off the days, couldn't hope. Personally, I didn't see what the point of hoping was. I didn't have anyone out there waiting for me. And now, with most of us in jail, the GGs would be insufferable.

Of course, I remembered, staring up at the dusty underside of the top bunk, it could be that Onishima would never let me out, that he'd keep me as a spy until I got too old to convince other rudies. It wasn't a nice prospect.

Yeah, I did spy for him. I kept my ears open, and wrote to him when I found out anything. I didn't like it much, but there was nothing else I could do. If I didn't keep spying, then he might decide I was useless, and let Shiro get me after all. One or two nightmares had exactly that storyline, and it wasn't a pleasant one.

I didn't get much trouble from the other inmates. Not many people cared about the Love Shockers. I could fight back if anyone hassled me. And I did.

I didn't realise so many gang members had been captured. Noise Tanks and Poison Jammers and Love Shockers several years older than me, whom I'd never even met. Noise Tanks and Poison Jammers I could understand. Those gangs had been established for ages. But Love Shockers? Who knew where all these came from?

Each day I kept glancing at the yellow-dressed people, wondering if any of them could be Chiyo. Had Omega killed her? 

I'd been there three weeks when I found out the truth. 

It was in the dining hall. I wasn't eating much, because I was feeling queasy for some reason. Next to me was a yellow rudie, who'd told me her name was Tasha. She was a kid, but she wasn't actively hostile, so I tolerated her. And she was a brilliant eavesdropper, better than me. Onishima should thank her.

"Look, it's Romeo," Tasha said.

"Huh?"

She pointed to where a Noise Tank was entering the room. He had a guarded look on his face. Didn't look as though he could ever be happy.

"You didn't hear? That's his nickname."

"What's his real name?"

"Gamma."

It's lucky I wasn't eating, because I would have choked.

"Why – why are you calling him Romeo?"

"Because he had a Juliet. Until she died."

"What happened?"

"Him and this yellow girl were brought in, right? She'd been hurt, and he'd stayed to look after her and that's why he got caught. And she was a right bitch to everyone, everyone but him."

"How d'you mean?"

"He looked out for her, and he never got mad at her, and she…well, she was horrible to everyone, just horrible, but when she was with him she was different. We all saw it. People laughed at them for it, tried to hurt them, but it didn't matter."

"What happened to the girl?" I was trying to make sense of this new development, trying not to act surprised.

"Oh…she was mean to someone with powerful friends, and…" Tasha raised the plastic knife she was eating with. "I guess you don't know if you snap one of these in half – in the right way – you get a sharp point. They all did it, and then during lunch they cornered her while the guards were diverted. Cut her throat and she died. Everyone says Gamma's never been the same since."

Chiyo was dead. Funny, for ages I'd never thought about her. And yet now that I knew the truth, I was suddenly miserable. 

But…Chiyo in love? It couldn't be. I remembered her words. _Don't be nice. Use mental pain…what burns their minds… _Love?

Well, you sure burned Gamma's mind. I glanced over at the Noise Tank. I'd never seen him without his mask before, but I could feel the pain scorched into his face.

You loved him? And he loved you?

I was still feeling ill, but under the physical nausea was an acidic ache of jealousy.

Bitch. I stabbed my fork into my stew. She'd lied to me. And she'd had love. She'd died knowing someone loved her. 

And now he was hurting for it. I almost felt sorry for him, but the envy swirled through my thoughts like blood in water.

I really couldn't eat now.

The next morning I woke up a few minutes before we had to. As soon as I opened my eyes I knew why. I was gonna throw up.

I sprang out of bed, rushed over to the toilet, and was sick.

"Uhhh…geez, Love Shocker, some way to start the day. What's with you?" The Noise Tank girl leaned over the edge of her bunk.

I rubbed the sweat off my face, swallowed, and shrugged. "I dunno. Guess I'm sick."

"Feel like breakfast?"

"I do, actually."

"You're not sick, then. If you did you wouldn't want a king's banquet, let alone the crap they serve here."

"Well, what else could it be?"

"I don't know. Morning sickness, maybe?"

My stomach lurched again, but this time from horror.

"Heh…you don't mean that."

"Well, it's possible. Who you been screwing?"

"Oh…a guy."

Oh my god. Oh my _god. _

"When?"

"None of your business."

"Sorree." She rolled over away from me, and I knelt on the damp concrete floor, mind reeling.

I'd had unprotected sex twice in one night. Why hadn't I thought of it earlier? I'd missed a period, sure, but I'd put that down to stress. Which was pretty likely. But now it seemed…

Oh my god.

I went through the day on autopilot. It was hard not to. Every time I tried to think about anything else, backed it crashed into my head – I could have a baby growing inside me.

I hadn't been sick again. Pregnancy seemed depressingly likely. I wondered what I could do. 

They wouldn't let me keep it, though, would they? There was no way of accommodating a child in this place. Even if they let me have it after I came out (if I did – no, remain positive) then it'd still be in care while I was inside. 

Maybe I should tell Onishima. It could be his, after all. I wasn't going near Shiro. Though it would be interesting to see how he'd introduce it to my mum. _Hello, darling. This is your stepchild. And your grandchild. Oh, didn't I tell you about Kellaani?…_

No. Assume it's Onishima who's the guilty party. Let him decide what to do.

And so my next letter to him read thus:

_…I don't know whether the Noise Tanks are still using the short cut, but you might want to check it out. _

That's all for now. Except – oh, yes, I've been throwing up in the mornings. I could be pregnant, and I guess that makes you the daddy. Any thoughts?

That should produce a reaction. 

The next day I decided to talk to Gamma. 

Rudies of the same gang weren't allowed to associate with each other, but of course that wasn't a problem. I sauntered over to sit next to him during lunch, and the jealousy rose up again.

"What do you want, Love Shocker?"

"I heard about your girlfriend, Romeo."

Chiyo would have been proud of me. His face tensed, and I thought I saw his eyes shine too much. 

"Your point being?"

"Hey, I'm just curious. After you went off with her in that cop car, I didn't hear anything more from you."

He looked at me, eyes narrowed. "How'd you know about that?"

"Well, I was in her gang."

"You were a Sable Blade?" I saw him struggle to remember. "There were two other girls…a redhead…and a dark-haired one…"

"Yep. My hair changed, as you can see. I was the one who you told to run. I talked to Chiyo. I'm just interested to see what happened."

Gamma shrugged. "What's to tell? They caught us. We came here. She lived, she died. That's all."

"All? I heard you lurrved each other."

Gamma's fist tightened on his fork. "Whatever."

"Oh, come on. Spill the beans."

"I don't want to, okay? I don't want to talk about her."

"Why? Scared we'll find out the relationship wasn't so sweet after all?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" He turned to face me. "You know nothing about her."

"I know a lot more than you'd think." I wasn't even sure why we were having this conversation, but there was a sense of having been beaten, or been made to look a fool, believing something that wasn't true. 

"Oh, yeah? Like what?" Gamma's voice was rising in anger.

"She didn't love people. She thought that stuff was for wimps. And she didn't love you."

I kept my voice calm with an effort. Rage was thrashing in my head, and I didn't know why.

Gamma looked for a moment like he was going to hit me, then he closed his fury off again, and said, "Whatever. I know what I know. And what I definitely know is that you're jealous. I don't know why, I don't know what Chiyo told you, but I know what we had, and you can't ruin it for us whatever you do."

"Believe whatever you want," I said, putting sweetness into my voice. "No one will mind a prisoner being delusional."

I picked up my uneaten lunch, and walked away from him.

Chiyo was just like all the rest of them. Lying, just using me for her own ends. She hadn't meant all that stuff. I'd been relying on it for months, and she hadn't meant a scrap of it. 

Well, that just underlined the fact that I was on my own.

A week later I was getting dressed when I was hauled out of my cell by two guards and hustled up into one of the meeting rooms remand people used to talk to their lawyers.

Onishima was in there, looking jumpy, tense and stressed.

"What the hell do you mean, you're pregnant?" he roared as soon as the door shut behind us.

"I mean, I appear to be pregnant," I said. "Why are you finding it so hard to believe? You didn't use protection. I didn't use protection. Therefore I draw the obvious conclusion –"

"Keep it down," he snapped. "Right. Okay. Do you know for sure?"

"No."

"I'll arrange – uh – some sorta test, then. If it turns out you are, you have the brat, then we shove it into care and it never finds out."

"That's a little harsh," I said.

"Oh, and who else is gonna look after it? You're nothing but rudie jailbait, and I'm not taking any responsibility for this."

I was tempted to tell him the baby could be Shiro's. But then I foresaw a sequence which I didn't like one bit.

Onishima would hear me making allegations against two officers.

He might then see that I liked to tell a lot of similar stories.

He might then see how this could be presented in court as something along the lines of: Delusional Girl Believes All Cops Are Evil.

And then he'd see a simple way out of his own problem, and then it would be Shiro Two: The Bastard Returns. And that would be so not cool.

No. Keep your mouth shut. Pretend to everyone it's Onishima's. Even to yourself.

I shrugged. "Whatever. But surely you'll have to give the social workers some proof of parentage?"

"Oh, I'm sure they won't care too much about some dumb Love Shocker who got herself pregnant by a guy _whose name she didn't even know…"_

Onishima glared at me.

"Okay, fine," I said. "Anything else you wanted to tell me?"

"You keep your mouth shut, or I withdraw my protection. Hokuju's been asking for you, he wants to see you."

"Don't let him, or I'm telling all."

Our eyes met. Both equally serious.

"Right," Onishima said at last. "And, yeah, before you ask, I'm leaving your spiky little gang alone. There's only two of them, so I'm focusing on the GGs. We're all square?"

"Of course we are," I said. "Now, can I return to daily life? I'm missing breakfast."

Onishima provided me with a test. And it was positive.

Now at night I'd lie there, thinking that inside me was growing, growing every day, another person, someone who'd grow up and be someone of their own, someone who'd only been made because I'd been desperate. 

Poor kid.

The morning sickness passed eventually. As did time. I don't remember any incidents worth telling you during the pregnancy. Except one.

Just a piece of rudie gossip. I was sitting at breakfast listening to Tasha talking to someone, running through news on the outside.

"The GGs are still top," the other girl was saying. "No one else can get a look in. The Love Shockers are still around but they're laying low. There's only two of them, so…" 

"How many GGs now?"

"Uhh…ten still."

"When I came in there was only six."

"Oh, well now there's this girl…and this weird guy…and these two American kids. They were looking for a friend, and they came over here and decided to stay."

"Did they find the friend?"

I tried to stop my hands shaking. 

"No. Apparently, he was kidnapped by the Golden Rhinos –"

"You're kidding," Tasha said. "Why?"

"Something to do with a record. They destroyed his music collection. And his friends thought he might be over here, so they came, but Prof K said he was pulled too deep into the schemes of the Rokkaku, and no one knows what happened to him. Most think he snuffed it."

No one knows.

I wasn't sure whether to be happy or sad about this. Coin was dead? But he'd hurt me. He'd dropped me. But he was dead. Now there was no way he'd ever come back to me. Not that I wanted him to. Oh, I didn't know what to feel! Did he suffer? In a way I hoped he did. He'd hurt me bad enough. 

Someone else who'd gone. 

That night I wondered over it again and again, like a worrier pacing the same patch of carpet. It must have been something to do with that record. He'd sold it to the Rhinos…maybe he'd found out what they'd planned to do with it. What Goji had planned. And so he'd pulled out of the deal. 

And then they'd come and kidnapped him? Smashed his records and left the loft empty? I wondered if they'd destroyed his entire collection. I pictured it, shattered records and ripped cover sleeves covering the floor like a landslide. 

Had Combo and Cube seen it happen? Or had they just come in to be welcomed by the destruction? They must have followed the Rhinos' trail back to Tokyo, and joined the GGs. And then saved the world. 

My mouth tasted bitter. Cube on the winning side as usual. Suddenly I realised I wasn't sorry for Coin. He'd broken my life. Serve him right to lose his own. What a pity his girl was still around.

I'll get you, Cube, I told myself. I didn't quote Chiyo's phrases now. No point. I didn't need her. I'll get you. You'll wish you'd never laid eyes on Coin by the time I'm through with you.

The scan showed I was pregnant with twins. Well, that was a shock. But I wasn't as surprised as I once would have been.

I was starting to forget life outside prison. Well, not forget, but consider as being in the past. Or like a dream. Maybe Onishima would keep me here forever, but I sometimes almost didn't care – and other times I wanted to scream with frustration at being trapped.

And days became identical, until I wondered if I was living the same one over and over again…

Until came the day which only ever happened once.

It was early morning, still dark – not that we really got much natural light. I woke up, and I lay there. And I didn't know why I'd woken. I only knew that something was wrong.

I lay there, listening to my heart pounding. Then it felt like an invisible hand gripped my stomach. I gritted my teeth until it let go. Oh, man. I was going into labour.

I could hear my breathing, loud in the small, silent cell. I tried to breathe more calmly. Okay, think, Kell, think. If I banged on the door – screamed for help – would they come? Or would they write it off as someone else with closet claustrophobia?

I didn't want to think. I wanted out of this body. Let someone else deal with it. No more pain, yet, just terror crawling all over me like ants that I was out of control, that I needed help.

I got out of bed. The cold hit my feet as I put them on the floor. As I stood up another pain hit me – no, a contraction, call it what it is. It reverberated down to the soles of my feet, and I clenched my fists. 

"What are you doing?" a voice hissed.

I looked round. It was the Noise Tank.

"I'm just having a baby," I said. "Don't worry."

"No way."

"Don't ask stupid questions," I snarled. "Help me!"

I didn't know if she would, but she climbed down from her bunk, shoved her feet into her shoes, walked over to the door, and started banging on it and shouting. 

"Helloooooo! Lady with a baby here, childbirth imminent, help would be appreeeciated! Is there anybody out there?"

"What the hell are you doing?" another sleepy voice snarled. I looked round to see our resident yellow girl glaring at us both. "Some of us would like to sleep tonight!"

"She's having a baby," the Noise Tank said. 

The other girl rolled her eyes, and snapped, "Well, let her deal with it and shut up." Then she turned over and pulled her blanket over her head.

The Noise Tank ignored her and carried on calling.

"What if they don't come?" I asked.

"Then we'll have to pool our knowledge of natural childbirth, won't we?" She kicked the door this time, and yelped. "Damn…why'd they give us such crappy shoes?"

Footsteps outside, and a rattle of keys. A guard came in, and said, "What's all the noise about?"

The Noise Tank indicated me. "She's having her baby. Her time has come."

"Babies," I said. "It's twins."

"Right. You go back to bed." 

The Noise Tank shrugged and climbed back up to her bunk. "Good luck, Love Shocker," she called.

"And you, get your shoes on and come with me."

The corridors were empty apart from us. Not quiet, of course. Never quiet. But it was still sufficiently different to seem eerie. 

Another contraction hit me, and I bit down on my lip. 

We reached the prison hospital at last. Even here they had the windows covered, and it was lit by strip lighting. The overdose of electric light in this place was starting to make me feel sick.

They said there was nothing they could do until transition, so I basically had to grin and bear it. I sat on the bed, one wrist cuffed to the metal headboard. Like I'd want to run away at the moment. I tried to think of something else, but the contractions kept dragging me back to reality. 

I hated this. Fuck you, Onishima, I thought silently. Why couldn't you have had lazy sperm? 

I'd better be careful I didn't let his name accidentally slip. Not for him, this was, but for me. 

Ow. There was another one. 

I didn't want to be here! I didn't want these babies, I wasn't going to be able to keep them anyway, why the hell did I have to go through this? It wasn't fair! 

My face was speckled with sweat. Just hurry up and get out already, I thought to the kids. Then you can go away from me and we can all get on with our lives.

I was trying to keep count of the pain, but now it was coming too quickly to bother. I lost count, and gave up. 

I could see sunlight through the plastic now. When had that happened? Around me, the prison echoed with voices as breakfast began. It was vaguely like when you get ill at school and you sit in the nurse's office while everyone else goes on with the day. Only – damn it – a lot – more painful.

Pain again.

And again.

Lasting longer now, prompting me to recite all the curses I could think of under my breath. 

The nurse – midwife? – whatever – came back now, and as she did, I felt something detach inside me, and water ran down my legs. I guess that had meant my waters breaking, then. Why didn't I know more about this sort of stuff?

They checked me, and said I could start pushing now. Oh, thanks very much, at last I'm allowed to actually take steps to getting rid of these things! Hardly any gaps between contractions now. Inside me I'm being ordered to push, but it won't stop, and I'm still trying. 

Onishima, you are gonna pay for this! I yelled out in my head as loud as I could. In real life I was restricted to 'ouch, ouch,' and not much else. I'm burning up, hot and sticky skin, do something, somebody get me out of here!

"I can see its head! Push!"

I did just that. 

I felt something leave me, looked down, saw the midwife holding a baby. But it still wasn't stopping – of course, twins. Thank you so much, fate. 

The second kid was born quicker, and I lay there, looking at these two tiny things I didn't know anything about. Tears were filling my eyes without me trying.

"Well done," the nurse said. "Do you want to hold them?"

I looked at them, feeling like my face was melting, and spat out, "No, take them away, stupid little brats, I don't want anything to do with them!"

Even as I screamed it I wanted to take them back, wanted to hold them, my babies, but I saw her face harden against me, and I kept my mouth shut. They shouldn't be mine, anyway. They had no father. And I was no good as a parent. They'd have proper parents, grow up happily, never know me, and that would be best.

It didn't stop me crying.


	13. Familiar Face

Chapter 13 – Familiar Face

(You know the disclaimer, right? Please r+r!)

And more days passed, and I tried to forget I was a mother. It worked. In the end. Sort of. 

I was lucky. Something happened to take my mind off it. Something big.

We were eating, when there was a blast on a whistle, and a guard called, "Right, you lot, we have some new arrivals today!"

We stopped and turned to look. New guys were hardly ever announced publicly like this. That in itself held my interest. 

Standing nervously in the middle of the dining hall were four rudies. Their uniforms were grey. No one had grey uniforms. I scanned their faces. Two guys I didn't recognise.

The other guy I did.

Akina's brother. They'd taken his goggles, and he was wearing a shirt for probably the first time in his life, but it was him. It had to be. The muddy skin. The height. Heck, the face. It was him.

And the girl…

The world pulsed with rage. And something else.

Her dark hair, missing its clip, fell in jagged lines over her face. Her lips were no longer blue, just the dull pink most people's are, and her face, though still pale, wasn't half as deathly as it had been when I'd last seen her. She stood, arms folded, eyes narrowed, tense all over, and even as the rage caught in my throat I thought how good she was to look at. 

But this had to be fate. Cube, in jail with me. As the girl herself might have said: Sweet.

"You'll notice that these four are in grey, which I don't believe is a colour you've had before. This is because their gang have never ended up here before. So we had to design a new uniform, all for them. Say hi to the GGs!"

Several people gasped. And then nasty smiles spread across their faces.

Oh, dear, I thought. Seems like I'm not the only one who hates you guys.

Looked like I wouldn't have to do anything myself. Across the hall I could see Dash's eyes narrowing, and a smirk rising on Shar's face. Those two wouldn't play nice.

Still, that didn't mean I couldn't knock Cube about a bit myself. 

I wondered what it would be like to kiss her. Then I bit down on my lip and tried to snap myself out of it. 

What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I make up my mind about whether I preferred guys or girls? 

Oh, well. At the moment, there was one girl I was interested in.

Yes, the day had suddenly got a lot more potential.

At first I just watched. I saw the four GGs get hassled by practically every inmate in the prison. I heard how there were four other GGs in the other block, how there were only two left outside now. I couldn't believe it! It was just my luck that it was only after I was off the streets that the GGs finally lost, big time.

Rumours were flying about how they had lost. I'd lost my gossip source – Tasha had been moved to the other block after she'd gone too far in her eavesdropping and someone had tried to knife her. But you didn't need to be a spy to hear the news. Everyone was talking about it.

"That dark-haired girl helped the GG leader two-time his girl…"

"They fell through a building together."

"She was fired and she went back to Grind City…"

"And I heard they came after her. The GGs, I mean."

"And Onishima came after them."

"They nabbed the leader because he was too busy thinking about girls, can you believe it?"

"And they brought them back to Tokyo. Now that's the sort of justice I like!"

I kept my mouth shut. Watched, and waited.

Two days after they arrived I cornered Garam. I didn't know what to say to him. But I wanted to talk to him anyway.

"Hey, GG!"

He carried on walking. 

I hurried closer. "Look, I'm not out to get you. I want to talk to you."

"And I don't want to talk to you, Love Shocker." He used the mention of my gang like a brick on my skull. I tried to ignore it.

"Do you remember me?" I said.

"What, did I chase you out of the bus terminal or something?"

"I knew you before I was a Love Shocker."

He stopped walking then, turned to face me. "Oh, yeah? Who were you?"

"I was the girl who loved Akina," I said.

His eyes widened, and I could practically see him running a movie reel of memories past his brain. "You – you were the one I talked to in Benten-cho? In Main Street?"

"That's me."

"Well, why are you talking to me now? I've left all that shit. If you're gonna get to me for what happened to Akina, don't bother. I've done that myself."

I studied his face. The smug, jack-the-lad look he'd worn when I'd first seen him had gone now. In place of it was a sharper, harder edge to him, like someone had cut down all the spare flesh on his profile.

"Your sisters drove you out, didn't they," I said. I realised now – this was why I was talking to him. To find out how the story of this family ended.

Garam shrugged. "I guess so. I think I would have gone anyway."

"You hear what happened to the elder one?"

"No."

"She got stabbed in Park Street."

His eyes widened. "What?"

"I ended up challenging her to a fight, and I won."

"You killed my sister?"

"Garam, she was nuts!"

"You still didn't have any right to kill her!" he said. "So what if she's nuts? They've always been like that! Both of them!" 

"They drove you out of your home!" I yelled back at him. "How can you not hate them?"

"Because I deserved it. I should've left ages ago. You're right, I was a rat to Akina. Are you satisfied? I wanted to forget it all, and I didn't want you going around doing some stupid grudge killing!"

He turned and ran off down the corridor, soles of his shoes slapping on the concrete floor.

I stood there, hardening my heart to stop myself feeling hurt. I was right. I knew I was right. Maybe some of the other stuff I did wasn't, but Akina's sister had been nothing but evil and I was willing to bet no-one missed her. 

_Would anyone miss you?_

I shivered and walked away from the thought.

So that was one GG crossed off my list. Now for the other one.

My chance came a week after they'd arrived.

I was walking down the corridor to breakfast when I heard familiar voices up ahead.

"She's crying! I don't believe it," Shar was saying. "Some rudie she is. Guess Nose Guy was good after all."

"Then let's give her a makeover for him," Dash said.

I heard the sound of punches, someone gasped. I stepped round the corner, and saw Shar and Dash holding Cube against the wall. They were both hitting her. Her eyes were closed. She doubled over as one of them punched her stomach, and I decided it had gone far enough.

"Hey, leave her alone!"

Both Love Shockers turned, and looked puzzled when they saw it was me. 

"Aw, come on, Kell, she's a GG," Dash said, surreptitiously kicking Cube on the ankle. "Give us a break!"

"You got breakfast to go to." I met their eyes. "Give it up."

For a moment there was tension, then Shar bolted, and dragged Dash with her. 

Cube was still leaning against the wall, ribs rising and falling. Her lip was bleeding, vicious on her pale skin.

"If you're gonna beat me up, could you get it over with?" she said. "I've got a full schedule today."

I smiled and kept the bitterness out of my voice. "I'm not gonna hurt you."

"Then why'd you call off your goons?" she retorted.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"Why?" She pushed herself off the wall. I could see her staggering, but she'd clenched her fists. Did she never put down her guard?

I shrugged and decided to wing it. "The way I see it, if you've managed to take over two other territories, saved the city from a demon, not been ground to a pulp by Onishima, and survived falling through a building, you ain't the type of girl to start crying because of a couple of bitchy remarks." I could see she had been doing that. Her eyes were too damp. 

"I don't cry," Cube said.

"Sure. Back then you just had something in your eye."

Cube gave me a nasty look. 

"Come on, spill the beans," I said. I needed to know as much as I could about her. Who was it said knowledge equalled power? 

"Look," Cube said, dark eyes narrowing, "I'm a GG. You're supposed to hate me. Everyone else does. Now leave me alone!"

"Why should I hate you?" I managed to get that out without sounding sarcastic. "In here we need to stick together. Let's get to breakfast."

I began to walk, and she followed. 

"So you gonna say why you cried?" I asked as we reached the dining hall.

"No." 

"Sure, honey. Let's go."

First contact.

That night I lay there and tried to plan.

The trouble was, I was being pulled in half by two separate urges. There was the one that said 'snog her senseless,' and the one that said 'pound her senseless,' and I didn't know which one to choose. Great. I _would_ have to wreck my revenge by getting smitten with the person I was supposed to hurt. 

I closed my eyes and pictured Coin dropping me, taking her, and my hands shook with rage and I wanted to slice that black and white face and introduce red into the picture. 

But secretly part of my brain was making me wonder what it would be like to touch her a different way, stroke her hair, be gentle. 

Was it any wonder I was a little confused?

Well, as far as I knew Cube was straight, so there'd be no chance of her going with me. So you can forget that second choice right now, Kellaani.

But I didn't _want_ to… 

Could I like her? Was my hatred only because of Coin? If we'd met in another time would we have been friends? I didn't know. 

I tried to picture Coin. It was harder than I'd expected. It's difficult to remember a face – all I could get were stills that didn't look real. 

But I _could _remember being told I was the loser. 

Coin was dead now. I wondered how Cube felt about that. 

I didn't know what to do. I'd see what opportunities arose. Maybe fate would help me get lucky for once.

Over the next few days I hung around with her, just playing nice, keeping the others off her back, being a good guy. It set my teeth on edge. Maybe I could have been friends with her in another dimension or something, but here – no way. I could like the way she looked and think about her that way when I was alone, but when we were actually talking all I could do was hate. 

But both urges were rising. I had to do something before they made me shatter.

We were heading down towards breakfast when I made my move. Cube was still wary of me, I knew that, but not as wary as she should have been. That suited me.

"I'm really glad we met up, aren't you?" I said. I let one arm hang over her shoulders, my skin noting the curved shape of her shoulder blades.

"Yeah," she said. "Specially as you saved my butt."

"Aw, that's all right. What's the good of having power if you don't use it?" I stopped walking, and turned to face her. "You're a really good friend, Cube, you know that?"

"I am?" Puzzlement here.

"Yeah." And then my instincts hijacked my body, shoved Cube against the wall, and kissed her.

She shoved me off almost immediately. "Hey, knock it off, I'm not that sort of girl!"

"Do I care?" I could feel myself shaking. "While you're in here you gotta make sacrifices." I kissed her again. I could feel the other inmates watching us, but I didn't care. This was bliss, this was wrong, this was completely mad.

She slapped me. 

And everything stopped. 

I stood there, feeling my skin stinging. Cube was leaning against the wall, watching me like I was a tiger. Everyone else was staring at us, and some of the Love Shockers looked horrified.

"Is it too late to say sorry?"

The world started moving again as Cube spoke. As did the rage. 

"Oh, yeah. It's too late for you, GG. Do you know what happened to the last bitch who hit me?"

"I'm guessing you didn't give her a hug and a box of chocolates." Cube didn't seem to move, but she suddenly looked ready to pounce. Or flee. Some sort of primal defence, I guess.

I kept my eyes on her as I called out, "Any guards coming?"

"No," someone answered. I hardly heard them.

I waited for the rage to reach its highest point. Grabbed onto it. And punched.

Cube dropped. I hit the wall, and cried out. She pushed at my feet, and I fell, and scratched at her face. I had been right. Red was her colour. We fought over and over and over, I punched her, and she fell back – I pinned her arms – with my working hand, I squeezed her throat.

"You are dead!"

I thought of Coin, thought of how I'd just been pushed off, and pressed down harder and harder. Cube choked, her face was contorting, I wondered if I could actually do this. I could! I could! I found myself laughing.

Then she dug her nails into my leg. 

Without meaning to, I winced, and then she shoved me off and leapt to her feet. I turned to hit her. Sound of running. I felt a stab in my arm. I tried to reach Cube, but I was falling away from her into darkness.

Rats.

I struggled to open my eyes. They hurt. I felt drained all over. 

Eventually I succeeded, and the light rushed in. I was lying on my bunk, and the cell was empty. 

I sat up, groaned, and tried to pick up the pieces of my brain. The guards must have used tranquillisers on me. Damn. I shivered as I remembered the urge to kill. Yet it had felt good to be the one who wasn't beaten on for once. 

I heard a click from the door, and then a clatter as it was unlocked. Two guards walked in.

"Well? What was all that about?"

I shrugged. "Rudie stuff."

"Just a grudge, huh?"

"If you like." It didn't feel like 'just' anything. But I was too tired to argue.

"We're moving her to Block B, then. Just so you don't get the urge to do any more rudie stuff. Oh, and you're in here for the rest of the day."

I lay back down as they walked out. The door banged shut. After nearly a year here I still hadn't got used to that sound. 

I'd lost her. Damn it, damn it, damn. 

I will get you, I told her. I will. 

Hate and love are only two sides of the same coin. I sighed at the pun. Now where had I read that? I couldn't remember. I hated Cube. But I still found her attractive. And if you don't get that, well, wait till it happens to you.

Even in prison those damn GGs still got the better of me. Well, just wait. I could hurt them. I was good at hurting. 

They'd soon see.


	14. Cry Freedom

Chapter 14 – Cry Freedom

(Well, first of all, thank you thank you thank you to everyone who reviewed – I'm over the 100 mark! Yay! Seriously, thanks. Okay. Some catty comments about Mew in this chapter, but it's Kell talking, not me…honest…)

It was two weeks later. I was sitting in the dining hall, eating supper, and GG-watching. 

Cube had been replaced by another girl GG. Mew, I learnt her name was. She had been the girl in blue who'd kept checking her make-up in the bus window. 

She spent most of her time sulking, pretty face drawn into a scowl, not talking to anyone. And – you guessed it – gazing at her face in any reflective surface she could find. 

People had picked on her at first, but she didn't make a good target for bullying. She walked away quickly, lurked in public places, flirted like crazy with the two guy GGs in with us to get them to be bodyguards. The ginger-haired one practically fell on the floor and licked her prison-issue shoes whenever she smiled at him. It was sickening.

I studied her, noting how she was examining her skin in the surface of her spoon. Now that the guards had realised we knew how to use plastic stuff as weapons, we had metal spoons to eat with and not much else. 

She stroked her eyelashes, making them curl upwards. Licked her lips, pushed her hair back behind her ears. Just like a cat, really. I wondered if that was how she'd got her name. Despite lack of makeup, nice clothes, or hair conditioner, she was still pretty, but it was a flat, boring prettiness that I was willing to bet would vanish once she turned forty. If she got to that age. 

So her weak point appeared to be her looks…

And she herself was the weak point of that ginger kid.

I quickly glanced down at my supper, trying to hide a smile. Softly, softly, catchee GG. If I could pull this off, I could really be proud of myself. It was like an art, setting up a trap, or knowing how to cut through stone and change its shape. 

You may have dropped out, Chiyo, I thought. But I'm still in the game. And love's not going to get me.

The bell to finish rang, and I got up, carried my plate over to the hatch, and then joined the crowd walking out of the dining hall. Another day nearly over. Maybe I'd dream about someplace good. Or maybe I'd get another meeting with Shiro. Yay. We had an hour now until lights out. The excitement was killing me.

I was on the third floor. As the cell door slammed shut behind me, I dropped down on my bunk and sighed.

Both the Noise Tank and the yellow girl had been freed now. My new cell mate was another yellow, and she didn't talk to me. She didn't talk to anyone, just sat there staring at the wall. She was a really far gone rudie.

The fact that both my old cell mates were out now made me wonder whether I really was here for life. Onishima wouldn't want to lose his spy. I knew more arrests had been made because of what I'd found out. Of all the stuff I've done, that's what I'm least proud of. 

But as long as no one found out…but how long was I trapped here for? How?

I gripped the edge of the blanket and tried not to panic. That would do no good at all. I wasn't gonna end up like Miss Chatty on the bunk above me, living in my own head. I wasn't going to go crazy. I would survive. I hummed the song under my breath, and tried to sleep.

It was about half an hour later when I heard the door being unlocked.

Most of the guards rattle it like they're duelling with it. This one didn't. It was silent, like they didn't want to be heard.

The door creaked open. A blonde girl in a guard's uniform stood there. She hissed, "Come on! We're busting out of here!"

I recognised her. It was Gum.

I got to my feet and gave my cellmate a poke in the back. "Move it."

She stared at me blankly, but she did what I said. 

Outside the corridor was filled with rudies. The GGs saving the world again? Looked like it. I scanned the crowd for them. Cube wasn't there. Piranha, Garam and Mew were, looking excited. I couldn't see Combo either, and wondered if he'd been the other GG on the outside.

I saw San, Shar, and Dash. San stood with a group of what I was beginning to think of as the last generation of Love Shockers. As Gum moved onto the next cell, I forced my way through the crowd to them. Just being able to talk to them without getting yelled at for associating with my own gang was invigorating. 

"Hey," I called. "What's going on?"

San gave me a cool look. "Oh, it's you. I was just telling the others how you got beaten up by a GG."

"I did not."

"Well, that's what I heard. Cube, wasn't it? She's my cellmate."

"Your point being?"

"Most of the other girls don't want to associate with such a weak leader."

I wondered if pulling San's hair out strand by strand would help my case, and decided it wouldn't.

"Oh, and who said I was weak?" I said. 

"Sorry, Kell, but Cube is way cooler than you are." San gave me a grin. "And as I know you don't exactly love the GGs, I think we should get a new leader." 

"Co-operation is better than competition, you know," said one of the other Love Shockers.

"I'm not palling up with the GGs," Shar said. "No way."

"Me either." Dash pulled a face like she'd just eaten a mouldy nut. 

"Then you guys can form the GG-bashing society, and I'll stay in the Love Shockers," San said. "See ya!"

She gave us a little flicky-finger wave, and turned away.

"Come on," I said. "Let's just get out of here first." The crowd was moving off down the corridor. "Then we can sort out Little Miss Co-operation."

Shar nodded, and she and Dash followed me down the corridor.

When I next saw Cube, she would be deader than Ancient Rome, and a lot less memorable. Just you wait.

"That's the last corridor," Gum called. "Let's go."

The crowd began to hurry as we followed her down to the main entrance. The air was humming with suppressed excitement, like an orchestra tuning up, or drumbeats, low and quick. Despite my rage at what San had said, I caught some of it, and my spirits lifted a little. If I could get out – _if_ –

Gum was looking back at us, eyes narrowed. I glared at her. She may be saving me, but she was still a GG.

Suddenly a plan started to form in my head. Why not finish off the perfect night with a little revenge?

I left Shar and Dash and headed towards Gum. 

"Listen, GG," I hissed. "I don't know whether you're gonna rescue your little dark-haired friend –" Where was Cube, anyway? – "but you just tell her from me if she gets out that Kell is going to get her and she is going to be dead."

"I don't take Love Shocker messages," Gum retorted. "Tell her yourself."

I sneered at her and walked back to Shar and Dash.

"What was all that about?" Dash asked.

"We're starting our campaign against the GGs," I said.

"We are? Kell, we just got practically booted out of our gang for saying that sort of stuff."

"Kris is still out there and she has some more rudies with her. We need to get to them first. As soon as we get out, you guys run to her and tell her not to listen to San. Tell her San's gone nuts. Tell her San's betraying us to the GGs. Anything. And tell the other Love Shockers just how bad the GGs are."

"What'll you be doing?"

I smiled. "Thinking. You got a weapon of any sort?"

Dash bent down and pulled a small, twisted knife out of her shoe. It had been wrapped in a bit of blanket to act as a scabbard. "Here."

"Thanks. I'll see you later tonight."

Ahead of us an alarm went off as we reached the main door. I gulped. We had to make it. We had to.

I saw Gamma rush forward and start poking around inside the ID scanner next to the door. And then he'd got it open – the door, I mean – and we were out. 

Fresh air. Night sky. Music. The smell of cars and takeaway and grass.

Freedom!

"Get moving," I hissed to Shar and Dash. "And don't get caught."

They nodded, and ran. 

I hurried through the main gate, and back into reality. 

Now what? 

I'd sent Shar and Dash off as back-up. Now I had to think. San was going to be a real problem. She'd obviously got friendly with Cube, and she was a persuasive talker. 

I leant against a Benten building, and tried to plan. 

"Gotcha!"

I jumped, and turned to see Onishima charging towards me with four other cops.

"It's me," I said. "You remember, your undercover spy?"

Our eyes met. I hoped mine told him that no way was I going back to jail.

"What the hell is going on?" Onishima roared. "Why aren't you behind bars?"

"Duh. I escaped. We all did." I kept my voice low. If any rudie saw me talking to him, I'd be dead meat. 

Onishima looked from side to side, then called to his goons, "Get moving! Go nab as many rudies as you can!"

They nodded, and hurried off down the street.

Onishima grabbed my wrist and dragged me into a deserted building and up some steps. "Did you have anything to do with this?"

"No. It was the GGs, all right?"

"What now, then? I don't need you any more."

"Oh, I think you do," I said, heart suddenly quickening. "I can still keep talking. And now I'm free, Shiro's gonna find it a lot harder to find me."

He gripped my wrist hard enough to click the bones.

"But I won't talk," I said. "Just leave the Love Shockers alone. Keep Shibuya nice and quiet. And that's exactly what I'll be too."

"You little –"

I pulled my arm free from his hand. "Don't bother, Onishima. I'll give you my number. Call me if you feel like complaining."

Then I waltzed down the steps away from him.

I saw, coming out of the prison direction, Gum, Cube, San, Piranha, and two GG guys. Well, well. I watched as they hurried past my alleyway, and saw Onishima dash out of the building and round the other way, to cut them off. 

"Gotcha!" 

I rolled my eyes. Geez, couldn't he think up a new catchphrase once in a while? 

The GGs plus San came running round the corner and dashed up the steps into the building. I knew you could get off that roof by grinding – if you had skates on. We sure didn't.

Oh, dear. What were they going to do now? 

Onishima hadn't followed them round. Was he waiting at the bottom, waiting for them to fall? Seemed likely. 

If San turned into pavement pizza, that would solve a lot of my problems.

I waited, and listened. 

Finally Onishima came charging round the corner with the other cops. "Get up there! Maybe we'll nab at least one of 'em!"

"Something went wrong?" I said.

He glared at me. "Shut up and tell me how to get rid of those punks."

"I'm working on that myself," I said.

"Oh, yeah? How?"

"People crumple if you hit their weak points."

"Oh, geez, a psychology freak."

"How about you just leave Shibuya completely alone?" I said. "I'll handle the GGs. I'll call you when you can come pick them up. Don't you call me, I don't want my gang to know about this."

"You think you can handle them?"

"Yes." I hoped I could, anyway.

"Fine. You better be telling the truth."

"Of course I am!" I made my eyes wide. 

"You help me. Or I come and haul your ass back to jail. And no tagging, okay? While we're kept out of Shibuya, no tagging by anyone."

"I'll try," I said. "But you see, tagging may be a central part of the war against the GGs, so…" I shrugged. 

Onishima glowered. "Whatever. I just want to see those punks behind bars. And if you don't help me you'll end up with them."

"Of course," I said. For once, someone who let me manipulate them. Could I pick 'em or what?

We swapped contact numbers, and then I dashed round to the other side of the rooftops. I could just see the GGs and San picking their way carefully across.

I needed to stick with San. If she got to the Love Shockers before Shar and Dash did – or even after, she was a good speaker – then I'd be toast. 

So there was only one option. I didn't really like it, but it was all I could do. 

The GGs and San had reached the edge of Benten-cho. They looked sickeningly happy. Gum was walking with the GG leader, hand in hand. Cube was walking with this weird-looking guy who towered above her. Forgot Coin so soon? I wondered. Piranha was strolling along like she didn't have a care in the world. 

Now who had she killed?

A GG's sister.

I tried to think. One of the girl GGs…I couldn't remember any names, not now. But that might be very useful. Piranha looked so calm right now. Did the GGs know who she used to be?

Inquiries would have to be made.

I kept in the night shadows, watched as San, laughing, turned to walk away from the GGs. I made a mental note of which road the latter took, then headed after San. 

Following her, I remembered Alex. I'd not seen her for like ten months. Had she survived? Had Babs remembered her? Or was she dead now?

Somehow that thought didn't give me as much pleasure as it ought to have done.

I shook Alex out of my brain. I had a plan to consider, and Sandra Gilbert was going to playing a central part in it.

San was heading back to our HQ, I figured. I gripped Dash's knife. I'd have to make my move before she got there…but on the other hand I couldn't go too early. The timing on this was doing my head in. I had to keep the Love Shockers on my side. I didn't like what I was going to have to do, but – well, look at it this way. I needed to smush the GGs or Onishima would make trouble for me. I needed the Love Shockers to help smush the GGs. San would stop me holding onto the Love Shockers. Ergo, San needed to be out of the picture.

Could I afford to let San speak to the others? There'd be questions later…

Maybe I should anticipate those questions, and be obvious for once.

I put the knife away, and caught up with San as she reached the door of the HQ. "Hey, how's it hanging?"

"What do you want?"

"You can't kick me out of the gang, Sandra." 

"And why not?"

"Democracy, sweetie. We need to ask the others."

San scowled. "Fine."

"Are all your has-been Love Shocker friends still hanging?"

She shook her head. "Some of them have quit. Prison put them off being rudies."

"Let's go."

I pushed open the door, and stepped into the main hall. 

After ten months it should have changed, but it hadn't. Same old, same old. Shadows and dust in the corners, and those empty walkways above us. 

There were nine Love Shockers standing there, watching as we entered. I recognised Shar, Dash, Kris and Babs – reinstated, I guess – but none of the others.

"You guys are all out?" Kris called. "Are you okay?" 

"We're fine," I said. "But San's got a little proposition for you all."

San glared at me, then stepped forward. "Listen," she said. "While I was in jail, I got talking to some of the GGs –"

Dash made throwing-up noises, and San glared at her. 

"They're not that bad," she said. "I think we should leave them alone."

"Well, Kell's the leader," Kris said. "What does she think?"

"That's the thing," I said. "San thinks a GG-lover should be leader now. And as some of you know, I can't be called that."

"The GGs are stronger than us," San said. "Why bother to fight them?"

"If we don't fight them, where do we go?" Babs asked. "Start a feud with the Noise Tanks or the Poison Jammers?"

San shrugged. "Do we have to keep trying to start turf wars all the time?"

"San, you're not suggesting we join the GGs, are you?" Shar said.

"I don't know what I'm suggesting. I just think we've been going about this all wrong."

"Let's just cool down a bit," I said. "Kris, why not introduce me to the rest of these people?"

Kris shrugged, and introduced me to three of the Love Shockers. The other two, I learnt, had come from prison, and wanted to rejoin. 

"Okay," I said. "Now listen. I have a plan to get rid of the GGs once and for all, and I also know that the cops are gonna lay off Shibuya for a bit, meaning the stage is clear for us to start fighting."

"What's this plan?" Babs asked.

"We hit each of the GGs separately, and we fight as low and dirty as we possibly can."

Most of the Love Shockers looked pleased by that. San and Kris didn't.

"See?" San snapped. "The only way we can beat them is if we fight dirty, and some of us don't actually want to do that!"

"Why not?" Shar asked. "You think they're gonna be pals with us now? Nuh-uh. We're gonna have to fight back, and quickly."

San scowled. "In that case, I don't think I want to be part of this gang any more."

"Then you can just leave," I said. This was perfect. "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out!"

San stormed over to the exit. "I'm gonna tell the GGs what's going on. Then you'll be sorry." 

She marched out, and slammed the door behind her.

Kris sighed. "We have to, Kell?"

"We have to. Now I'm going after San." I looked at my watch. It was half past ten. "Try and pacify her a bit."

I hurried out into the dark streets. San was hurrying away down the road.

"San, wait up!" I called. 

She stopped. "What is it? I'm not coming back."

"Oh, come on," I said. "Mightn't it just be easier if you did?"

San shrugged. "I don't want to join in with your nasty games."

As she turned away, I took out the knife. 

"Don't then. But where will you go?"

"I'm not sure. Some other place. That's all rudies do, go from place to place."

"Mm. That's for sure."

We'd almost reached the bus terminal now. Empty, as all of Shibuya-cho was at night.

"Come on," I said. "Look, let's at least go home and change. These uniforms are doing my head in, and I'd like to get my skates on again."

I wasn't confronting the GGs in prison uniform. No way.

"Fine," San said. "But I'm still not joining in with this fight-dirty thing, okay?"

"Of course you're not." I slipped the knife back into my pocket. 

I wasn't putting it off. I just didn't want anything to go wrong.

By three a.m. we'd all got back into Love Shocker clothes, located some more skates from the all-night place, and celebrated our freedom. I did that wholeheartedly. Even choosing when to sleep, or what to eat, was exciting now. 

Or who to hurt.

The plan was taking shape. I could barely restrain the smile on my face.

Eventually everyone dozed off. Except me. 

My heart was crashing against my ribs like waves. I wasn't sure whether I was scared or excited, but whichever it was, I couldn't let it stop me.

First, I wrote two notes by the light of the streetlamps. I put one in my pocket, and left the other one by San's bed. 

Then I checked that I still had the knife. I unwrapped it, and ran the edge along my finger. Blood spilled out of the thin line I'd slit and ran down my skin.

"San," I hissed. "San, what are you doing?"

She opened her eyes, sat up – 

I cut her throat.

San's eyes widened in horror, then she dropped back onto her bed. Blood was already beginning to pump out of the wound. 

"Guys," I yelled. "Guys, wake up!"

Kris opened her eyes. "Kell, what is it – oh, my god –"

"Look," I said, and held up the note I'd written.

Kris read it, and her eyes narrowed. "What happened?"

"I was woken up by her writing this note, and I asked her what she was doing, and she told me she was gonna betray us all, like it says, and I – I lost my temper, I guess, I grabbed the knife, and…"

Kris looked from me to San. "Wake up the others."

The girls awoke crossly, but they quickly changed their tune when they saw San.

"Read the note, Kell," Kris said.

I cleared my throat. "Dear everyone, I'm sick of this stupid gang and its stupid leader. I've gone to the GGs and I'm going to tell them where you are. Then they'll come and tag your backs ten times and then maybe you'll stop thinking you're all so much better than me. You didn't even help my sister and I'll never forgive you for that. It's signed San."

There was a silence, then Shar said, "That little cow."

"You caught her at it?" Dash asked.

I nodded. 

"It's okay," one of the old Love Shockers said. "Traitors like that don't deserve life."

"What do we do now?" Babs said, looking at me.

"Well, I've actually got an idea…I know a way we could get revenge on a GG tonight," I said, slowly, like I was just thinking it up.

"What?"

"San was friends with a GG," I said. "She could say that she'd heard that I was going to get them, and arrange a meeting. Then we just wait…"

"You mean, we write a note asking this GG to meet San in the bus terminal or something, and then lie in wait ourselves?" Dash said.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"I like it," Shar said. 

"I'll write the note," I said. "Then one of you guys can shove it under the garage door, and then we wait."

"What if no one's awake?"

"Then we'll have had a nice night adventure, and no harm done," I said. "But bang on the door when you deliver the note. Try and wake them up."

I stared round at their faces. Everyone looked grim. 

"Listen," I said. "We nearly got taken out for good by the GGs this time. We can't afford to play nice any more." I emphasised that bit. "We have got to hurt, we have got to fight them, otherwise we're just never gonna get our own turf or even keep surviving as a gang."

They nodded. I couldn't believe it. Had they actually taken the bait? I sure hoped so.

"You're right," Kris said. "I hoped we could stop fighting, but…" She looked at San, and shuddered. "I guess this is reality. Let's go."


	15. You're In Trouble

Chapter 15 – You're In Trouble

(I don't own JSR, the GGs, Tokyo-to, or anything else like that. I do own the characters of the Love Shockers (lucky me) though obviously I didn't think the gang itself up. I don't own the lyrics for 'A View To A Kill' (which should be in bold), I think they're © Duran Duran. Oh, and once again, please keep complaints about my taste in music to yourself. Let's all keep friendly, huh?)

(break)

It had started to rain.

San leant on the rail in a bus terminal, head slumped. From where we were standing, she looked alive. Which meant she'd look alive to Cube as well, until the GG got up close.

My heart was pounding. I wanted this so badly. Just the freedom to hurt, not to worry about the consequences, just kill.

It was four-ten a.m. 

I saw her, skating into the bus terminal, face pale against the rain, and my hands trembled.

"Everyone's in position?" I whispered to Dash. She nodded. We were hiding behind the steps up to the bridge. Babs and Kris were behind a lorry at the other end of the bridge. Shar and someone else had taken up position behind a truck parked next to the road to the square. Two others lurked in a shop doorway next to the half pipe, and two more near the street back to the garage. You get the picture – strategy.

Cube skated over to San. I saw her reach out, lift San's chin – saw her tense. Even from where I was I could pick out the blood.

Cube's hand went to her mouth. I wondered if she'd run. But no – she looked round the bus terminal, and then turned her attention back to San, began to untie her from the rail.

It was deathly quiet. The rain hissed, but apart from that, no sound. We were waiting, and I didn't know what for.

Cube stepped back as San fell to the ground, looked around nervously.

Go on, Dash mouthed. Go get her.

I swallowed, stepped out, and began to skate towards Cube.

I slammed into her, and she fell. I could imagine how cold and hard the ground was. I'd been shoved onto it many times.

Cube looked round, saw me, her face whitened.

"God, you GGs are so predictable," I said. I kicked out at her, and she winced. "You really fell for it! Still, I've never liked a challenge."

"You killed her," Cube retorted, struggling into a sitting position. Rain ran over her skin. "What are you, a psycho? What had she ever done to you?"

"Don't let's get into that sort of conversation," I said. "Because you know what I'm going to do now, don't you?"

"Surprise me." Cube snapped it back.

"I'm going to kill you too." I held out the knife, still coated with San's blood. Cube swallowed. I looked into her eyes, and spoke the truest words I'd ever known.

"It'll be such fun."

She leapt to her feet, showing her agility, and I sliced out at her. The blade caught her arm and beads of blood started to speckle her skin. She ran towards the road back to the garage. I didn't follow. She'd get stopped.

Flickers of pink shone through the rain as the two guarding that route leapt out. Cube turned, dashed to the road to the square, and then turned as she saw Shar and her partner move to stop her. And then to the half pipe. It was like a pattern, pink moving out, black wheeling away like a leaf…

She leapt onto the railings, and I followed suit. I jumped to gain speed, praying I wouldn't slip off. The rain was spitting in my face, making it hard to see. I jumped onto the banisters. She was at the top of the bridge. Now we were one behind the other. I jumped again, saw how close she was.

I pushed her.

She fell, landed crumpled on the ground. The others came to circle her. I ground down the banisters and came to stand in front of her. Her face was damp with rain. Or tears?

Now you know how it feels to hurt, don't you? Now you know how it feels to fall.

"GG, you disappoint me," I said. If I called her by her real name I'd betray the anger I felt, and I didn't want that. Give me a bit more anonymity. "I was hoping for some excitement."

"Yeah, right. Don't pretend you're not loving this."

Did she never stop fighting, never stop throwing back remarks?

"You're right," I said. "This is the best high I've had in years. Honestly, think of the trouble you could've saved yourself if you'd just been a good girl earlier."

"Drop dead." Cube glared up me, face full of hate – and it hurt me. I didn't like it. "You're a sick psycho bitch," she spat out, "and I'd rather kiss Goji Rokkaku than you. No, in fact I'd rather kiss Onishima than you. No – I'd rather have an orgy with both of them than kiss you!"

I decided there was little to be gained by having a slanging match, and said to the others, "Right, get her up. It's party time."

I saw Cube bite her lip as she was hauled to her feet. She wasn't trying to walk, and her skates skidded limply through the puddles. I wondered what we'd done to her, and that other urge, the strange one I didn't like, came into play and I wanted to help her…I bit down on my own lip and forced myself to remember Coin.

They leaned her against the bus shelter railings. Cube closed her eyes a minute. There was blood smeared over her arm. Just looking at her made me feel out of control. I couldn't let that happen.

I leaned close to her. I could see her lips trembling as she fought back tears, tears which I guessed were of pain. Her hair had been soaked into black ink trails, dripping down her face.

"Look," I said, trying to keep my voice cool and calm. "If you want, we can play this the easy way. You do what I say, and I won't cut your throat. You might even enjoy it."

"I don't believe you," Cube said.

I felt slapped.

Cube's dark eyes watched the knife, and glanced at San. Her mouth tightened.

"I'm not making any bargains with you," she said.

"Your loss," I snapped. Bitch. I clicked my fingers, and saw Babs and Shar bind Cube's wrists to the pole she had been propped against. Cube tried to snatch her hand away, but one of the other Love Shockers punched her in the stomach. Her head dropped as she gasped. I felt slightly sick.

"This time we're going to have a fair fight," I said, to cover the feeling. "No running away."

"Oh, sure it's fair." A pained smile dusted Cube's lips. "There's one of me and five of you, I can't walk, and you just tied me up. Sure. Guess you're scared you'll lose again."

A few of the Love Shockers tittered. The sound cut through my soul, and turned, hands shaking with fury. "You looking for the same as her?" I pointed to San. I hoped they couldn't see me trembling. I had to keep my allies. I had to.

"Yeah, your leader's hardly on your side, is she?" Cube said. "She sliced her up real –"

Fury rose behind my eyes and I punched her in the mouth, my breath catching in my lungs. I saw blood start to trickle from her lips. Once again the other urge started to rise. This time I gave some reign to it.

"Right. You know I've always liked the taste of blood…"

I forced her head up, gripping her chin, and kissed her. For one moment it was bliss. Then she bit.

I yelped and moved away, hate moving up my throat like a black wave. "You are dead," I gasped. "And I mean totally."

No love now. I held up the knife. "Ever wondered what would happen if this got stuck in your eye?"

"You wouldn't." What little colour there was in Cube's face left it.

"You bet your sweet life I would. And I will."

I didn't want to scar her. I just wanted to hurt her as badly and as painfully as I could.

I raised the knife. Cube squeezed her eyes shut.

As I brought it down, someone slammed into me. Stumbling off aim, the knife missed her eye and tore down her cheek. I turned, furious, to see who'd attacked me, and that stupid orange-coated GG guy came into my line of vision.

I moved to attack, and he grabbed my wrists, forcing the knife away from him. He was calling Cube's name as he fought. I saw, dimly, that she was looking amazed.

Who was this guy anyway? Why was he bothering?

He was trying to break the hold I had on the knife. I gripped it, hearing my joints click. He would not beat me. He would _not._

I kicked out – hit some vulnerable area – he doubled over – I shoved him, and he fell – and I stabbed. Don't you dare stop me – you stupid – ugly – no-good – freak!

I stood there, trying to get my breath, and glanced at Cube as she screamed.

"Oh, dear. Did I kill him?" I said.

Cube rushed towards me. Before I could wonder how she'd got her hands untied, she'd slammed me down onto the ground and was attempting to punch my head in.

I tried to fight back, but even though I still had the knife, she was winning because she was so angry –

Her cold hands gripped my throat. I stared up at her as she gasped for breath.

"Kill me…" I whispered. "Go on…won't…" I gulped air. "It won't bring him back…"

Jackpot. I saw the strength in her eyes crumple like I'd shot it. I saw her glance over at him, lying there bleeding his guts out – and I shoved up and slammed her head into the side of the bus shelter. Before she could move, I stabbed her in the stomach.

Cube put a hand to the wound, and stared at the blood coating her fingertips.

"Let's roll," I called to the others. I turned to look back at Cube. She looked scratched, broken – but not beaten. And if I hadn't beaten her, I'd lost.

I kicked her in the knees, and she screamed.

__

I'm sorry…

"Listen, can you still hear me?" I said to her. Her eyes were rolling out of focus. "Well, listen good anyway. I think I showed you what happens to people who mess with me. Next time you do what I say. Get it?"

She looked up at me, breath coming in sharp slices.

"I said, get it, GG?"

Her trembling lips formed one word. "Bitch."

Unbeaten. Unbowed. I itched to hurt her more. But we'd done what we'd set out to. "Whatever. See you around, GG."

I straightened up, and we skated away.

No one spoke until we got back to the HQ.

"That was horrible."

Kris glared at me.

"You broke both her legs. You punched her and stabbed her and you murdered her friend."

"And your point is?" I said.

"My point is people don't do things like that!"

"Kris, this is reality. Like you said. You think the GGs would be kind to us? You think they'd let us go safe and sound? Nuh-uh. They'd tag our backs as many times as they could. Then they'd beat us up just for laughs. No one is kind any more, Kris. Oh, and by the way, who untied her?"

"I did," Kris said. She was shaking, but she met my eyes calmly. "You've gone too far, Kell."

"Have I?"

"Yes."

"And what are you proposing to do about it?"

Kris looked at me. "If we're going to treat all the GGs the way you treated that one, maybe I'll just go and tell them what to expect."

Unease leapt up like a snake in my stomach. "Another traitor, Kristine?"

"You can't get me with that shit," Kris said. "It's not treason. You know it isn't."

"No, I don't. Your first loyalty should be to your gang, I believe. Not to someone else's."

"I don't want to be loyal to anyone who's doing stuff like what you just did!" Kris yelled.

I looked round, keeping a contemptuous expression on my face. The other Love Shockers stood in the darkness, moonlight slicing them up. Not on my side. Not on hers. Stunned.

"Well, watch out, sweetie." I gave her a little push, and she stumbled backwards on her skates. "Because I don't play nice any more. I do a lot of 'stuff,' as you so elegantly put it. And some of that 'stuff' might happen to you."

"You don't scare me."

"What happened to you?" I asked. "You helped found the Love Shockers. Who hurt you enough to make you do that, Kristine?"

I'd noticed she tensed every time I used that name.

"Don't change the subject."

"I'm just asking," I said. "Because, you see, that GG hurt me. Hurt me a lot. I was evening the score a little. Now, who hurt you?"

Kris stayed silent, her face mingled with shadow and light.

"It was another gang," Babs said from behind me. "Their gimmick was hurting girls. They caught her, one night, and took turns jumping her bones. She ran away from home."

"Shut up," Kris said.

"You telling me you never wanted to hurt those guys?" I asked her.

She was silent still.

"You telling me you never wanted to show them you were strong? I don't believe that, Kristine."

"I never did anything to them," Kris said.

"But you wanted to, didn't you? Like I wanted to hurt the GGs."

Our eyes met, and then she turned and ran. I heard her feet clatter on the metal walkway, and then an office door slammed.

"Anyone else have a problem with tonight's escapade?" I asked.

They shook their heads.

"Then let's get back to bed for a bit."

(break)

That night I dreamed. I don't remember much about that dream, but it felt like I saw everyone I'd ever known – from Shar to my mum to the lunch lady at school – and they all called to me and I wouldn't answer them. There was Akina, black and white, not moving. I wanted to go to her, but I was swept away like a twig in a waterfall. And Coin, alive, which I knew was wrong, only he wasn't dressed how he normally had, but in the orange jacket and trousers of the guy I'd stabbed that night.

Shiro stood, arms linked with Jin, who was in a cop's uniform, and Chiyo laughed at me, wrapped in a Noise Tank's jacket. The GGs tried to stop me, and I broke through them like they were made of glass, all except one guy, a guy in a blue boiler suit and hat, whom I wanted to smash but couldn't. Alex screamed when she saw me, but the screams turned to laughter. And finally Goji Rokkaku, and Shiro again, standing on either side of me, and Shiro tried to hold onto me, but Goji grabbed my arm, and dragged me down, down, down into the darkness…

I opened my eyes, and the dream faded. Boy, I needed more sleep.

I headed out into the main hall. Everyone else was up. Kris wouldn't look at me.

"Guys," I said. "Any news?"

"Those two GGs were taken to hospital. They're in Shibuya General right now."

"The other GGs are staging distractions in other parts of town," Babs said. "They haven't been back here, so we've been catching up on our own tagging."

An idea spread into my brain. "They're staying out of Shibuya-cho totally?"

"Yep. Either at the hospital or in the other districts. They come back at night, though."

"Then let's give them a surprise when they do come back," I said.

"What?" Shar looked worried.

"Tag everything. Every wall. Every car. Every billboard. Every window. I want Shibuya-cho looking like it's built out of Love Shocker tags."

A slow smile spread over Dash's face. "The GGs are gonna have a heart attack."

"Exactly. And they'll spend a lot more time covering up our tags, and that'll mean they'll be easier to nab themselves."

"Uh – 'nab,' Kell?" one of the old Love Shockers said doubtfully.

"Don't worry. Just tag them ten times if I'm not there. If I am…well, we'll just see what happens." I picked up my paint. "Let's go."

(break)

Babs, I discovered, was a good artist. Especially when it came to painting pictures of injured GGs. This would annoy those dumb freaks for sure.

We painted our socks off for two days. People were complaining in the streets, I heard them, but that was no bother. The GGs would have collective fits.

I wrote to them. Just a quick letter, to tell them who was behind this. In case they hadn't guessed.

And how did I feel, having at last got revenge on the girl who'd hurt me?

Well, pleased, I suppose. But there were two other emotions that dulled that. One was the yearning for more. She still had her friends. She still had her life. And from what I'd heard, she still had her ugly, freaky boyfriend.

And the other emotion was guilt. I didn't like it. I didn't want it. I didn't like Cube, but deep down inside, almost buried, there was the same protectiveness I'd felt for Akina.

But if I gave in to that feeling, I'd be lost. I had to beat the GGs. I _had _to.

(break)

I still spoke to Alex. If you want to call it that. She didn't fight back now. She just pretended she didn't care.

(break)

It was about a week after we'd tagged up Shibuya when Babs came running in, and hissed, "Guys, one of the GGs is heading up to Park Street. On her own."

"Which one is it?" I asked.

"That blonde girl."

"Right," I said. "Shar, Kris, Dash, Babs, let's go."

"What are we going to do?" Kris asked.

"We're going to give her a makeover." I shook my paint can. "Ten times."

Outside it was very quiet, and even Jet Set Radio didn't make it loud. The streets were empty, and it was getting dark. The air was cold and stung my nose when I breathed in.

Soon we'd reached Park Street. I saw her, up ahead, a tall figure silhouetted against the edge of the playground. She was tagging over one of our tags, one which had been splattered across a billboard.

"Come on," I whispered, and we tiptoed up the steps. The swings creaked as the wind gently swung them. The only other sound was the hiss of Gum's paint, and Jet Set Radio.

I smiled, stepped forward, and tapped Gum on the shoulder.

She turned, quickly, and I saw a flicker of unease in her eyes.

"Quit tagging," I said. "Now."

"Yeah, right." Gum flicked back a strand of hair. "Who do you think I am?"

"I know who you are, GG." That's for damn sure. "And I think you ought to know that Shibuya belongs to the Love Shockers now."

"Like hell it does."

I held up my paint can, heard the other girls hold up theirs. We began to shake, click-clack, as the music leapt high and spread out to engulf my ears.

I saw Gum's eyes glance to each side, take in her position. It wasn't a good one. We had her surrounded.

"Frightened yet?" I asked.

"In your dreams." She turned back to her tag.

The music cracked like a whip, and before I could think of what to do my hand had shot out and I'd tagged her back.

She turned this time, as the music jumped again. Her eyes were wide and horrified. Had she ever been tagged before, I wondered. Probably not.

"Run," I said.

"No way." Terror in her voice now, but she didn't move.

"You know what happens if you're tagged ten times."

"Even your little friends won't support you if you're tagged ten times," I said. The music was rising, like floodwater around the singer's words.

Now she was definitely looking for escape.

"Go on," I hissed. "Go on. Run. Run. Run."

I heard Shar join in.

Then Dash, then Babs.

And Kris.

And the music rose –

She ran as the song leapt out, and Babs tagged her again.

Gum leapt onto the fence bordering the playground, began to grind. I heard the clicks as five pairs of skates followed. Now she was on the banisters of the bridge, and Shar was catching up with her. Tag. I saw the paint spatter Gum's back.

And again. Shar shook her paint can for a third attempt, but…

Gum leapt off as the music juddered and stepped back on course, and dashed towards the gate to the halfpipe.

She was running now, stumbling down the steps…

So were we.

The singer lengthened the last note, and the music quietened. The halfpipe was flooded with shadow, but Gum's minidress picked her out like a ghost. We reached the fork in the halfpipe. Gum made for the left fork, but Dash and Babs cut her off, forcing her round to the right. As she ran, like a sheep driven by dogs, Kris tagged her, then dropped back.

She was fast, but we were faster. And there were more of us.

Gum was skating, head down, not looking ahead, obviously relying on speed to get her out of this. She didn't seem to notice the barred gate cutting off her route a few metres away.

She was trapped. Saw her wrench at the bars, knuckles white in the darkness. My hand shook. This was revenge.

Raise that paint can. The tags looked like scars on her back.

Tag once

Tag twice.

Three

Four

Five…

I let my hand fall to my side.

Gum turned slowly, as the song faded away.

Her eyes were huge, her fists clenched, but no rage in her face, just complete and utter bewilderment.

I dropped my empty paint can, and held up ten fingers. "You're out."

Silence still, from everyone. I carried on speaking, hearing the happiness in my voice, remembering being pushed, falling onto ground damp, rough, dirty.

"We know you're out. We'll make sure everyone else knows it."

Those white-gloved hands gathering up my paint. That sharp mouth calling names in my direction. _Broken heart. Baby. Whore._

"And if anyone catches you skating, we'll know you're not only a wimp, you're a cheat."

She still didn't answer me, but I could see her trembling.

"See ya," I said, blowing her a kiss. Then I turned to the other girls and said, "Let's roll."


	16. Fight And Flight

Chapter 16 – Fight and Flight

(Okay. I think everyone knows who I do and don't own, so I won't bother saying that. TextDragonX, I am retelling Down And Out from Kell's POV. How could I not? Glad everyone seems to be enjoying this, please r+r!)

"Okay," I called. "Shar, you go deliver this." I quickly scribbled a note to the GGs, and handed it to her. "Don't get caught."

Shar nodded and raced off. 

"What about the rest of us?" Babs asked.

"We keep a look-out. We've got to keep up the attack. Demoralise them a bit."

"Who're we gonna hit next?"

I shrugged. "Whoever we can. But listen, guys, don't tag Piranha if you see her, okay? I've got something else planned for her."

"Why not?" Dash snapped. "I'd love to paint her face a bit, the little cow."

"Because I know how we can hurt her worse. Look, the GGs aren't gonna kick out one of their own just because they got tagged. They won't break the rules, but they'll let them stay. Gum will find it annoying because you know what she's like –"

"Violent," Kris said. She still didn't look too happy.

"I was thinking proactive, but whatever you say. She'll go stir-crazy. We've got to hit each one where it hurts. And I know how we can do that with Piranha."

Shar came skating back, out of breath. "Guys," she called. "Listen…I heard who's going out tagging tonight."

"Who?"

"Mew. Blue GG. Center Street. Are we gonna do the same to her?"

I felt a smile dust my lips. "No. I have something else planned for her. Has everyone got knives?"

Kris whitened.

"It's all right, Kristine," I said to her. "You don't have to join in, okay?"

"I'm going back," Kris choked, and ran.

"I'll go see she's okay," Babs said. "Good luck, Kell."

Shar and Dash looked at me as we were left alone on the darkened pavement. 

"What's the plan?" Shar asked at last.

"You know Mew," I said. "You know how pretty she likes to look."

"So what're we gonna do, pinch her lip gloss?" Dash said.

"How about her lips?"

They both looked at me, horror in their faces, but underneath, curiosity.

I smiled. "All the makeup in the world won't hide what a few good blades could do to her. Think about it. That sort of girl thinks plastic surgery is the bee's knees. We're just giving her a free taster. Of course, if you can't handle it…"

"I can handle it," Dash said. 

"Me too." 

"Then let's head to Center Street, and play the waiting game."

It was about an hour later when we saw her. She skated out from a side street, screeched to a halt in front of a shop window, and began tagging. Even from where we were, hidden at the bottom of the hill, I could see she was nervous, glancing from side to side as she painted.

She finished her first tag, and skated on down, towards the next wall. It was so quiet. Yup, Onishima had come through for me.

__

Some rudie you are, Kell…

I ignored the thought, and motioned Shar and Dash to follow me. We began skating up the hill towards her. My legs ached.

I saw her notice us, tense, then turn and skate towards a rail, jump, begin to grind. 

"There she is," I called. "Get her!"

We waited at the bottom of the fence as she reached it. Her brown eyes widened in terror, and then she tried to jump. As she landed, we encircled her, and I called, "Grab her!" 

Shar and Dash pounced. Mew screamed, a sound that was as high and stupid as the rest of her, and Shar covered her mouth. They dragged her into one of the side streets, Shar holding her left arm, Dash her right. 

I took out Dash's knife, which was still slightly rusty with Cube's blood, and held it up in front of Mew's face. 

"You're that girl who always likes to look nice, aren't you?" I said. "I've seen you, always checking your reflection. Showing off your butt to the guys. Well, kitty, you won't have the face to do that in future." 

Mew's eyes widened in horror as she realised what I meant, then closed as I brought the knife up to her skin, and dragged it down her cheek. 

Even blood didn't look good on her. It just looked untidy. 

"I wanted to stick this in your friend's eye, but I guess I'll have to do it to you. Ready?"

She looked up at me, pleading in her face. 

"Please don't…" Her voice was wobbly, and I saw tears in her eyes. Get used to it, pussy cat, I thought. People aren't nice to you just because you're pretty. Trust me. 

"Steady?"

I saw her jaw tense.

"Go –"

"Leave her alone!" a guy's voice cut in.

We all turned, and I saw a Noise Tank standing at the street entrance. 

"Let go of her," he said.

"Or what?" I snapped.

"Don't make me use this." He held up a strange, slightly gun-like object. 

"Go play in traffic." 

His voice was familiar. 

"You asked for it," he said.

He fired. 

There was a faint ringing, and then a terrible pain burning in my head. I heard myself scream, and the world rocked as every molecule in my head vibrated.

I realised I'd fallen to my knees, and blinked, and saw Shar and Dash let go of Mew, who ran towards the Noise Tank. 

"Get them!" I yelled, wincing as the noise rang in my skull like an earthquake.

They glanced at each other, then ran towards the other two rudies. The Noise Tank fired again, and they fell. 

And he grabbed Mew's arm, and the two of them skated away.

I knelt on the ground, head still pounding, fury coursing through my lungs. That was Gamma. His face had been hidden, but I knew his voice. The bastard. 

I'd scared Mew, though. As Shar helped me to my feet, I let myself smile over that. I'd scared her shitless. So, two-one to me so far. Sweet. 

When we arrived back at the HQ, I waited until everyone else had gone out to celebrate in Benten-cho, and then headed up to Alex.

Babs had been feeding her, cleaning her, bandaging her wounds. I knew that she was doing it, but if I confronted her, she'd blab, and I'd be in trouble. Alex lay in the darkness, looking like someone had sucked all the flesh off her bones. Her hair had grown out now, hung red and stringy to her shoulders. I'd taken her skates, and her feet, bare and cold, shone in the faint light.

"What do you want?" she asked, her voice painfully casual.

"Just came to see how you were," I said.

Alex shrugged. "That's nice." 

"We're going to destroy the GGs," I said. "We've already tagged one ten times."

"Cool."

She wasn't listening properly, I knew that. Her mind was feeding out responses while it struggled to keep sane. 

"Akina's brother's in that gang," I said. "Did you know?"

A flicker of interest which was quickly squashed. "No."

I shrugged. "I'm planning something special for him. Maybe he can come up here with you."

Alex's face didn't change. I was a little freaked. Had she really gone down that far? 

She screamed when I hurt her, and then her face went back to the same old expression. I didn't seem to be able to reach her any more.

I walked back downstairs, and wrote another note.

__

Dear Piranha,

Well, long time no see, huh? Glad to discover you're happy again. I'm sure the GGs have welcomed you just like one of their own. I wonder…do they know you were a Love Shocker? Our gang ain't too popular at the moment. I wonder what they'd think if someone told them. And of course, there's the little incident involving one of your friends' sister. I do hope there hasn't been any bad feeling about that. 

Well, hope to talk to you soon – Kell

I got up, and looked for the photos pinned up on the walls of the factory. Shar had a passion for snapping pictures of us, and so there were memories preserved all over the HQ.

I found one of Piranha as a Love Shocker, and tucked it into an envelope with the note. If all went to plan, Piranha would freak. 

Of course, she could have told the truth as soon as she joined. But it didn't seem likely. And I may as well try and have a little fun.

I got Shar to deliver it when the others got back. Now all we had to do was wait.

Shar, Dash and I were out tagging in Shibuya-cho, on the half-built motorway – not that there was much which needed to be done – when suddenly we saw three Noise Tanks. They were grinding along the crash barriers on the other side of the gap.

"What on earth are they doing here?" Dash said. 

"Let's find out." I took a run-up, then leapt and wall-rode across the gap, landing with a click of skates on the other side.

"Hey, techno-boys!" I called. "What's wrong? Benten-cho too hard to handle today?"

"We just felt like some sunlight," a female – Data, presumably – answered. "But I wouldn't talk about us finding things too hard to handle. You've obviously got some problems of your own."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Well, the GGs are definitely the top gang in this district."

"Oh, they are, are they?" Shar snarled. She'd jumped over a few minutes after me. "Considering we've derudiefied one, and broken the legs of another, not to mention nearly fixing a third one – if your buddy hadn't interfered, she'd be toast."

"It's not like you've done anything that great," Data said.

"And the GGs have?" I replied.

"They tagged the police station. Or rather, one of them did. While the rest were doing time. All you've done is plaster the streets with your lonely heart tags. Which, by the way, are getting majorly boring."

"I didn't ask your opinion," I said. "At least we know how to use colour."

"Anyway," Shar said, "Anything the GGs can do, we can do better. Right, Kell?"

"Right," I said. "So why don't you Daleks bleep back off to Benten and leave us alone."

We watched as they skated away, then Shar turned to me. "Are we going to do it, Kell?"

I chewed my lip. "I think we'll have to."

"It's pretty dangerous."

"We're rudies. Danger is what we do."

When we got back to the HQ, Babs, Kris, and one of the new Love Shockers were there, looking furious.

"We just ran into the Poison Jammers," Babs snapped. "And they laughed at us. Told us we were wimps."

"Because you hadn't tagged the police station?" I said.

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"Noise Tanks did the same to us. It's no good, we're going to have to do it."

"But it's too dangerous," Kris said. "You'll end up in jail again."

"Is it better to be out here and a laughing-stock, or in there and –"

"A laughing-stock!" Kris looked angrily at me. "No one's gonna admit we're better than the GGs. We'll always be second best. Maybe we should just accept that and stop doing what we're doing."

"Why?" I said. "Why accept things? Why not fight to change it? At least you go out with a bang."

Akina accepted. Akina died. I wouldn't die. 

"A bang which hurts everyone who's near it," Kris said, voice shaking. "This gang makes me sick. This life makes me sick. I don't want any part in what you're doing!"

"Then go to Onishima, and turn yourself in," I said. "Go to jail. Pay for your sins that way."

Kris stared at me, eyes wide in her miserable face.

"You won't, will you?" I said. "You're too scared."

"Fine!" Kris shouted. "Fine! I'll tag the damn place! But please – please let's just wait a bit. A day or two. Maybe they'll stop heckling us."

"And maybe the GGs will quit rudie life and become bank managers," I said. "Okay. We'll wait. But they won't give up."

They didn't. Over the next few days my hatred of the GGs rose to new heights. 

"Right," I said at last, having just been laughed at by the Noise Tanks for the fourth time in a day. "Come on, Kristine. Let's go paint the Keisatsu a new look."

Kris swallowed, and picked up her paint.

As we walked out into the darkened street, she said, "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Doing what?"

"Forcing me to do this. To join in with all the shit you're doing."

"Because you're a Love Shocker, and I need you."

"There are other Love Shockers. Why is it only us two doing this?"

"Because if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself."

"Why am I here?"

I glanced at her. Her face was yellow in a streetlamp light. 

"Because I don't trust you," I said. "So I'm gonna involve you in this, and hope that you don't make me do what I did to San."

Kris shivered, slowly. 

"Why are we doing this?" she asked.

"Because I won't be laughed at."

"Why do you hate the GGs so much?"

"Why don't you?"

She was silent.

We'd reached the police station now. My heart pattered against my ribs. We'd blackened our skates and we wore long-sleeved shirts, but if we were seen, we'd be dead. 

No bars here, though.

"Right," I whispered, hardly saying the words at all. "You go left, I go right. If you get caught, run. Got it?"

Kris nodded.

We separated, and slipped into the darkness.

I began to tag. The hiss of the paint seemed horribly loud. I could hear, on the other side of the wall, typing, someone arguing, footsteps. I was practically touching the long arm of Tokyo-to law enforcement. And I was a rudie. 

I was stupid.

But – ohhh, if it would only get those jerks to shut up…

I finished the first X-tra large tag, and walked along a few steps to start the next one, carefully dodging the dustbins behind me. I could see police cars pulling up in front of the station, people being dragged out, and my hand shook. If I was seen…

Well, you're not going to be, I told myself. Keep a cool head.

That was one wall done. I turned the corner and walked round to the back of the building. Here windows spilled pits of light onto the ground. If someone looked out at the wrong moment…

I swallowed, and dodged from shadow to shadow, firing tags onto the wall. I didn't dare stop moving. I knew if I did, I'd freeze with terror. 

I saw, approaching from the other corner, a rudie-shaped silhouette, and called, "Kris?"

She nodded.

"I'm done," I hissed. "Let's go."

Negotiating the dustbins, we crept back round the corner – and froze as another police car screeched to a halt a few metres away from us.

I heard Kris's breathing catch in her throat.

We waited as its occupants got out and walked up the steps into the building. Then – "Go," I hissed, and we ran.

We didn't stop running until we got back to the HQ. 

"I never, ever, ever want to do anything like that again," Kris gasped.

I didn't answer. I sort of agreed with her.

"We've done it," I said at last. "Thanks, Kris."

"I hate you," she snapped, and walked away.

I kept up the letters to Piranha. 

__

Dear Piranha,

Well, I might tell, or I might not. You haven't looked too happy lately – that was for sure, she hardly came out and when she did she looked worried – _so I guess they don't know what you did. But I can't decide whether to spill the beans and get you in big trouble, or keep quiet and let you squirm. Oh, the agony of it all. Catch you later, sugar._

Another night in Shibuya-cho. The sky was striped with banks of cloud as the daylight left us. 

I sat in one of the old offices, thinking, while the other girls practised jumps and tricks in the main hall. I could dimly hear the sound of skates, echoing through the old building, cheers and laughter, and the occasional yelp as someone misjudged something.

I didn't feel half so cheerful. The fading light was sliding across my face, turning my skin bone-white, and I was cold. The darkness seemed to be swallowing me, despite everything I'd done to keep safe.

What were the GGs planning? 

I couldn't let them win. I just couldn't. I'd make my move soon. I'd get them, hurt them, then I'd call Onishima and he'd take away what was left. And then I'd be free. Free at last. 

Suddenly I heard running footsteps, and from the clanging sound I deduced they were on one of the walkways. I heard someone – Shar, I think – shout, "Quick, move it!" and I got up, and glanced out of the door. There were dim figures on the walkways, two of them Love Shockers.

"What are you two bitches doing up there?" I called.

"There's that GG up here, Kell." Shar's voice seemed very far away. "Cube, you know."

"What the –" I tried to recover self-control. "Grab her and bring her down here!"

More running footsteps. Crashes. Shar screamed, "Bitch!" The others were hurrying up the steps now. I couldn't make out where anyone was. It was all too dark.

At last I saw them. Cube, face bleeding, was being dragged down the stairs by Babs and Dash. The others were circling her – all except Kris, who didn't seem to be there.

I turned back into the office and picked up my torch from the desk, then hurried back out. They'd got to the door now. 

I shone the torch into the GG's face. "Cube? What are you doing here?"

"Felt like coming along to see how the riff-raff live." She had her eyes half-closed because of the torchlight, and so I couldn't see how scared she really was.

"You are either very stupid or very mad," I said. "Although I guess I'm glad. Now you can watch while I destroy your gang."

That did get to her. I saw her tense. 

"Hold her out here a minute," I said, and walked back into the office. Quickly I grabbed the mouldering telephone directory, and looked up a number. Hopefully what I'd heard about the GGs' garage had been correct…

I went back out, and called, "Bring her in."

Yes, Cube was frightened, but trying not to show it. I watched her from the corner of my eye as they bound her wrists to the heating pipe on the far wall. 

"Scat," I said when I'd finished. "I'm gonna make a call to the GGs."

"I didn't know we had a phone," Cube said.

"Well, live and learn, don't you? Actually, I borrowed an old directory, and found your place when it was still the Hung Foo Shin Garage." If my sources were correct. 

I dialled the number, the old phone dusty on my fingertips. It rang, once, twice, three times… 

"Hello?"

"That's Beat, leader of the GGs, right?" I said, hoping it was.

"Yeah…" He sounded wary.

"It is? Great. You see –"

"Kell, are you moving onto anonymous phone calls or something?"

"No, of course I'm not moving onto anonymous phone calls. You'd always know it's me. Anyway, I've got one of your little pals here. Caught her snooping round our place. Not exactly a polite thing to do."

I heard his breath catch in his throat, and then he said, "I don't believe you. Nice try, but I don't."

"Fine. You don't believe me – say hi to her yourself."

I held the receiver to Cube's face. "Beat," she said, "it's me."

He said something, but I couldn't pick it out. I picked up the packet of cigarettes on the table – Jay had left them there, I don't waste my money on that stuff – took the box of matches I used a lot these days.

"Yep." Cube sighed. "I guess you were right after all. I shouldn't have gone."

No shit, sherlock. I lit the cigarette, the flame dazzling my eyes.

"I'm fine," Cube said. "Look, don't worry about me, okay? I was stupid to come here alone, and now I'm paying for it." 

She sounded so all-fired calm. I itched to break that act down. 

He said something else, and she said, "I know you –" and then screamed as I pressed the end of the cigarette down onto her skin.

I took back the receiver, and said to Beat, "Don't worry, GG. Just a little preliminary run."

"You bitch!" he yelled.

"Geez, what an unoriginal insult. Anyway, gotta go." And I put down the phone.

Hand shaking with triumph, I inhaled on the cigarette. I don't smoke much. But now it gave me something to do.

"That'll kill your lungs," Cube said.

"Geez, you're prissy, aren't you?"

"Hey, you'll be the one collapsing when you try and skate up the hill."

I opened my mouth to reply, and the phone rang. I answered. "Hello?"

"Kell? Is that you?"

Onishima.

"Look, I told you never to call me here!" I snapped. "Do you have any idea what the others would do if they found out how we've got away with the tagging?"

"Listen, you dirty rudie, don't you try and give me orders –"

"Geez, do you know how many people have called me a dirty rudie? If you thought that, why'd you let me –"

"Shut up," he snapped.

I laughed. "You know you liked it. Why not admit it, rudies aren't as bad as they seem?"

"You shut up. You promised you'd keep your mouth shut. Now, listen, are you doing anything about those damn GGs? Or can't you hack it?"

"I can handle the GGs," I said.

"Then why the hell haven't you done anything?"

"Look, I've got one of them in here right now!" I glanced at Cube, who was watching me with nervous black eyes.

"Well, I want action," he snapped. "I want them caught. Now you do what you're planning, and I'll come pick them up."

"I don't see why we need to speed up the plan," I said. "I've got them scared –"

"Like hell you have!" Cube yelled.

I picked up the knife from the desk and slit her cheek. Tears of blood ran down her skin.

"Scare each one, then I'll let you go in," I said. "You know whenever you try and catch them you fail…"

I heard Cube gasp. 

"I don't have time for your dumb games, rudie."

"Why? What's the hurry?"

"I got a reputation to uphold."

"Oh, I see. Your reputation. Well, that's understandable. Having the entire population of the Juvie Skaters Correction Place escape from under your very nose – are they thinking of downgrading you? I guess your badge is important to you after all. Not that it shows…"

"Just shut up and help me!" Onishima sounded desperate. Boy, he was so easy to annoy.

"All right, all right. I'll move against them tonight. I got someone who can help me with that…" I gave Cube a cool smile. 

"You remember what we agreed."

"Yeah, yeah, I know the bargain! You don't try and arrest us, and we don't do any more tagging." I crossed the fingers of my free hand.

"Yeah, well, you seem to have forgotten that," he snarled. "Or haven't you seen the police station yet?"

"Look, the police station was a hitch, all right? A casualty of war. Now, we know the rules, right? I get to play with the GGs myself, and then you get to pop round and collect what's left. And we're both happy. Now don't call here again."

I slammed down the phone, and spoke my thoughts aloud. "You dumb idiot. Think I'm gonna keep my promises to you?"

"You making bargains with cops?" Cube said, anger simmering in her words.

"What's it to you? As a matter of fact, yes I am." Oh, I hoped the others weren't listening…

"What's the bargain?"

I shrugged. "I said on the phone. I use my gang to smush you GGs, get to hurt you a bit…" Cube paled. "…Then he can move in and take you off to Sing Sing. Suits me. Not, of course, that I'm gonna keep my side of the deal. No tagging – god, who does he think he's dealing with?"

"Who is he?" She sounded less angry now. More curious. 

"Who is he? Well, I thought you could guess," I said. "Who hates your guts? Who caught you all, then lost you again? Who has a rudie-hating reputation to keep up?"

"Is it – is it Onishima?" 

"And Cube scoops the jackpot on tonight's show," I said. "Of course it is. Only he'd be so stupid as to let me get the hold I've got over him."

"What d'you mean?" 

"Well, can you imagine the scandal if it got out that the Chief Of Police was screwing the rudies he'd caught?"

Oh, I did want to tell someone. Maybe it was stupid, but it was nice to explain it all at last.

There was a very long silence, before Cube said, "You didn't –"

"Of course I did. Don't look so surprised, honey, under that trenchcoat he's the same as any other man." I tried to speak casually, but I could see the disgust in her eyes.

_You're no rudie…_

"And you see, now if that gets out he'll be ruined. I figured that, so when he caught me I – hopped on the good foot and did the bad thing – and forced him to work with me. Let myself get sent to jail, and I spied for him."

"Huh?"

"Oh, god, Cube, stop being so dim. I'd keep my ears open – hear where people's hideouts were – tell him – he'd go in and nab'em. In return he left the Love Shockers alone."

Why was I telling her all this? I couldn't seem to stop talking. Why?

"Did you get us caught?" 

"No, that was him. I thought – we both thought – we wouldn't have to worry about you again after that."

"When you came onto me, was that part of a plan?" The anger rose up in her voice again.

"No," I said. "That was just me. When you escaped…well, course I went too. Onishima was furious. After he tried to grab you on the roof, he met up with me, and said if I didn't help him he'd get me. I wasn't scared, but I wasn't too pleased with you, Cube."

Like I ever am. 

"So I thought, well, I could use that. Hurt you and demoralize the rest of your friends. I was going to tell him where the garage is, and he'd go in with guns blazing. But now you're here, I've got a better idea."

"What?"

"You think I'm gonna tell you? The sickening thing about you guys is you always win. I'm not giving you any more info than I want to."

"But why'd you go with Onishima and try and come onto me?" she said. Are you –"

"I thought I'd have a bit of fun with you," I said. Because it was nothing but physical attraction by my dumb hormones. Nothing else. Nothing.

"Onishima was power," I continued. "Sleep with someone and one of you'll get power, and I got it off him." 

Shiro and Coin had taken the power from me. Now I'd taken it from Onishima. 

She looked at me, and I could see what she was thinking. _You're disgusting. You're a spy and a slut. You're no rudie. _And now I did want to hurt. 

Now, enough talking."

I picked up the box of matches, struck one, pressed the flame to her skin. I heard her scream. 

Blowing out the match, I flung it to the ground. I felt angry all over, but I was close enough to her to feel something else as well. 

No! I couldn't give in, I couldn't be weak, no, not now!

But maybe giving in would be exactly what would hurt her. 

I put a hand on her chin, forced back her head, and kissed her. I felt her shudder. Yes. I was right. This would break her if nothing else would. 

As I stopped kissing her I touched her breast through her shirt.

"Get off me," she snapped. 

I smiled in her face. "Make me."

I kissed her again, saw her squeeze her eyes shut, reached up under her shirt. Her ribs rose and fell, and her heartbeat pattered against my fingers.

I stroked her. The closeness was good. Even though I knew she hated me, that she probably wanted to kill me as I'd always wanted to kill Shiro, it was satisfying to be near to another human being. 

She drew a long, frightened breath, I felt every nuance of it, could sense where her ribs ended and her stomach began. I wanted to touch her all over, wanted to feel skin on skin, wanted to know I was…loved? But I wasn't, you know that, Kellaani, everyone hates you and that's the way you like it. Right?

"Get off me," she hissed. There was venom in her voice. "Get off me right now."

It was like she'd punched me.

"Why should I?" I said, wishing I didn't sound so petulant. "You can't do anything to stop me, can you?"

"Just get off."

"You're powerless, GG. You can't stop me kissing you, you can't stop me touching you…" With one hand I stroked her hair, smooth and soft and shiny. With the other I undid her belt. 

"And you can't stop me doing this."

As I touched I felt her tense, heard her breathing catch. Whether it was because she was disgusted or aroused I didn't know. 

"No…" Her voice was fading.

Her skin was damp and hot, and I could feel her breathing quicken. 

Your imagination working overtime? I don't feel like describing every touch, every breath, every feeling rushing through my mind. I just say that at last I moved away from her, and she was crying, not proper sobs, just tears running down her face, mingling with the blood. And she gave me one look, and the hatred burnt my soul.

We stared at each other now. Then I looked at my watch.

"I reckon your friends will have left to find you now," I said. "But they'll have left someone back at the garage. I think it's time to put paid to that someone."

Her eyes widened.

I dialled Onishima's number. 

"Yeah?"

He sounded tense.

"Hello?" I said. "Hi, it's me. This is a tip off."

"What?"

"The GGs' HQ. I know where it is."

A pause, then he said, "Where?" 

"The garage is on the corner of Lake Street, down a little cul-de-sac," I said. "I don't know if there's anyone in there, but you may as well make sure."

"Thanks."

He rang off.

I put down the receiver, turned, and met the full blast of Cube's glare. 

"You selling us to the cops now?" she hissed. "You low, sneaky cow."

"Fighting talk for someone who's in your position," I said.

Memory of what had just happened hit her eyes, and she snarled, "Shut up!" 

I laughed. Finally I'd got to her. "Give me a break, GG. You know you're in trouble, and so are they."

"We're not going to lose to you," Cube said. 

"Oh, aren't you? You don't look like you're doing a very good job winning. You couldn't stop me doing – well, you know – and you can't stop me hurting your friends. You're powerless."

She closed her eyes, and I saw her shoulders rise and fall in a sigh. 

Suddenly the door flew open, and one of the new Love Shockers rushed in.

"Kell," she gasped. "Kell, Kris is dead."

"What?"

"She – she –" The girl swallowed. "She's hanged herself. With her scarf. She put it round a light fitting, and stepped off the table…"

I swallowed. "She killed herself?"

"You killed her," the girl snarled. "You bullied her enough, didn't you? You sick freak, she was worth ten of you. She was the only one who ever helped me and you murdered her. I'm out of here."

"Fine," I said. I tried to act calm. But oh, please don't let the others run out too…

"Killing off your own gang?" Cube said as the girl ran out of the room.

"No. First I'm killing yours. And you're powerless to stop me."

She closed her eyes again.

Was this enough revenge? Maybe. But I couldn't seem to stop. 

Then she opened her eyes again, met mine, and said "Okay. So you cut me. So you burnt me. So you – well, it's not rape, I guess, but whatever you did then to me. Now what? Beheading?"

And strength was rising in her voice like a movie sequel monster.

"Oh, don't tempt me," I said. Suddenly I wanted to talk again. "Revenge is sweet. Very sweet. Talk about power now – mom had nothing on me."

"Power?" Cube said.

"What else do you think I've got?"

"You think you've got power?" she said.

Then, before I could speak, "Like you've got anything! You're head of the most cheap, two-bit gang in Tokyo-to. You've sold yourself to a cop. And so you got me – so what? You can't make me respect you. You're pathetic!"

With an effort I restrained myself from hurting her badly.

"My gang is not cheap. Because soon you GGs are gonna be out of business, and then we'll be the ones in Shibuya-cho. They're coming right now, and I'm gonna kill them, and if there are any left I'll send them off to jail. And you can't do anything to stop me."

Cube looked worried, but threw back at me, "You still won't get respect. Your gang despises you. We despise you. The Noise Tanks despise you. And I don't reckon Onishima thinks too highly of you either. You're just another warped Kogane kid, and that's all you'll ever be."

"Shut up, Goth." You have to. Don't say another word.

"That's hardly an insult. At least I don't go around whining 'cos my guy left me."

"Guy? Ha! I didn't join for that."

I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that Coin really had loved her. Make up a story, you idiot. Now. 

"Then why did you?" she said. "So you could screw your taggers?"

"I joined so I wouldn't have to work with any guys. I hate them. They're so stupid, always shoving around, taking what they want, throwing stuff, shouting. Girls are better. Girls have power…" And I can hurt them so much more easily. All guys ever seem to do is hurt me.

"You're obsessed with power," Cube said.

"And why not?" I retorted. "It's a good thing to have, right? You don't have it. I saw you, sticking your tongue down that big-nosed freak's throat…he's got you on a string, all he has to do is pull."

Ooh. She noticed that. Her eyes narrowed, and in a voice like chips of steel, said, "That's not true. You don't know anything about guys."

"Oh, I think I do," I said. "My mom had them every night. They used to come home and do me after they did her. We talked…we knew there was never any point in them. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them all." 

For once I could speak about it. Let it all out. We stared at each other, and I could feel the rage in the air and in my heart.

Babs poked her head into the room, and said, "Kell, I think the rest of the GGs are coming." She took in the scene, and swallowed.

"Great!" I felt the tension relax a little. "Well, let's roll, Cube. Or rather, I will. Your gang ain't gonna be doing much after tonight." 

Cube glared at me, but I could see the horror in her face.

"Right," I said to Babs. "I'll come help you set up. See you later, Cube. Onishima ain't getting his hands on you. You're staying here."

"Oh, still my beating heart," Cube snapped.

I turned and walked away from her, out into the hall.

"Listen," I said. "The cops are gonna have a part in this."

"What?" Babs's face whitened. "No way!"

"It's the only way, Babs. Tell the others. Just help me out here."

And now it was ready. 

I watched as the cops crept into the HQ, Onishima leading them. I saw Shiro, and pretended I hadn't. 

And then I saw another familiar face next to him, and my mouth dropped open.

"They're nearly here," Shar hissed, watching out of the window.

"Okay. Get up to the top. Onishima, you and your pals had better wait in the corner."

And then I hurried over to Shiro's companion, tapped her on the shoulder. She turned, and I knew I was right.

"Jin?" I said.

The last Sable Blade.

She blushed. "How do I know you?"

"Jin, it's me, Kellaani." I dragged her away from Shiro.

Her mouth fell open.

"You're all right," she said at last. "I felt so guilty, letting you go away on your own."

"What are you doing here?" I asked. She was in uniform all right. Her hair was no longer blood-coloured and jagged – now it was just dull brown, and cut neatly into a bob. 

Jin shrugged. "My sister wanted me to get Career. She said she'd put me up if I started earning a living. So I hung up my skates."

"You're a cop?"

"It's not that bad. We do help people as well, we don't just fling them behind bars." She folded her arms. "I felt like shit after Ringo died. But Shiro's been helping me get over that. He's so kind." She did the misty I'm-in-love face.

"Shiro?" I croaked.

"Guy over there." She pointed. I didn't need to check it out.

"How's he been helping you?" I asked.

"Well…" Jin blushed again. "You see, he and I, we're sort of together. I mean, like he's my boyfriend."

"Isn't he married?"

"Yes, but he says his wife doesn't understand him. So, well, you know…"

I wanted to scream at her, call her a traitor. But what good would it do? I was just as much a traitor as her. 

"That doesn't bother you?" I said at last.

Jin giggled. "If he wants to…you know…that's his business!"

What I'd once thought about Coin. And look where _that _had led.

"They're nearly here," Dash called down from above me. 

I turned away from Jin and ran up to the steps onto the top balcony. Quickly I briefed the others on the plan. There were five of us, me, Shar, Dash, Babs, and one of the old Love Shockers.

"Where's everyone else?" I asked.

"The others have scarpered," Shar said. "Couldn't take the heat." 

The building was dark now. Behind me was the light switch, just ready for me to turn the world into a stage. We crouched, waiting.

It was in a way like being ready to leap out at a surprise party. Only no party ever made me so happy as this would.

And the door opened, spilling moonlight onto the floor, and the GGs tiptoed inside.

(Oops. That was kinda long. But r+r anyway!)


	17. The End

Chapter 17 – The End

(Almost finished now…that title is a lie, this is the last but one chapter…please r+r!)

The GGs crept forward. Beat. Gum, the faint imprint of our tags still on her back. Tab. Garam, that wary, angry look I'd seen on him in jail. Yo-Yo. Combo, looking dangerous. And that orange-coated guy. Slate.

Where was Piranha? And Mew?

Well, I couldn't afford to worry about that. They reached the middle of the floor, stood in the darkness. I could just make out the dim figures of the cops. Around me, each Love Shocker held a knife and a paint can. The building itself seemed to wait for my cue. 

I glanced at Dash, who put her hand on the light switch. 

I took a deep breath, and yelled into the silence, "Lights!"

Click. The strip bulbs above us burst into brightness like dirty angels. The GGs glanced up, their faces bathed in white. Skull faces. 

"Camera!" I called, and my voice echoed all round the factory, _camera, amera, mera, ra…_

We were sitting on the railing of the walkway now, ready to jump.

"Come out and show yourself, you bunch of whores!" Gum yelled. 

"Gladly!" I called. I nodded to the others. "Action!"

Babs dropped a smoke capsule – pink clouds burst around us – and we leapt.

As I fell, I quickly moved so that when I landed I'd be on my feet. The floor rushed towards me, and as I landed the impact sent shockwaves through my bones. 

I turned to face Beat, trying to act like this was no big deal. He was glaring at me. Sweet.

"What do you want, GG?" I asked.

"Give us back our gang member."

"Why should I?"

"Because if you don't…" Beat began shaking his spray can. "You'll be the one derudiefied around here."

"Oh, really." I kept silent, watched him and the others look at me with hate.

"Go on," Beat said. "Where's Cube?"

"Maybe you should ask him that," I said. 

That was Babs's cue. She skated over and flicked on the ground floor lights. And the cops were illuminated.

"You sneak!" Gum yelled, eyes wide with fury. "You cow! You traitor! You –"

"What's your problem, GG?" I asked. "Can't handle a little healthy competition?"

"You made a deal with him?" Beat said. "How'd you do it? Bribery?"

"You could say that," I said, and gave Onishima a smile. He didn't return it. "Anyway…any last words, GGs?" Just to stir things up a bit… "I heard Cube's. They weren't exactly eloquent."

That shook them. They paled, especially Slate. Combo dropped his g-blaster. 

"No? Oh, well, then." I glanced round the room. The Love Shockers and cops stood waiting, their colours fading in the harsh light. 

Here goes. 

"Attack!"

And then another voice rang out into the scene.

"Hey, everyone! Listen up!"

Cube.

I looked up, and saw her, her and Piranha, standing on the middle balcony, looking down at the scene.

"You…" I couldn't believe it. "How the hell did you do that?"

"I've got news for you Love Shockers!" Cube's voice was full of power. No fear now. "And the cops as well! Do you know the reason why Kell's got Onishima on her side?"

No, I thought, no, don't you dare…

"She slept with him and then used it to blackmail him so that he'd help her destroy the GGs! Love Shockers, your leader's a cop-lover! And Keisatsu, he was stupid enough to let her in the first place!"

"She's lying!" I yelled at the same time that Onishima did.

"No, she's not!" Beat yelled. "I heard the entire conversation you two had. Cube transmitted it to us!"

How could they…I could feel my strength crumbling. 

"Come on, Love Shockers, why are you supporting her? Remember San! Remember how Kell threatened you in the bus terminal? And now she could sell you all out if she wanted, and she will one day! She loves power, you must know that! And she's got it over all of you!"

"And remember Alex?" Piranha shouted. "Ever wondered what happened to your old leader?"

No! I looked up at them. Piranha must have been here all along…she'd found Alex…talked to her…

"Yeah…what did happen to Alex?" Babs said, eyes narrowing now. "Kell, you told us she got caught by the cops…"

"She's in this building!" Piranha shouted. "Kell's got her locked in an old office! Sometimes when she's feeling bored, she'll go mutilate her a bit!"

I felt tears of fury prickle in my eyes as horror filled my gang members' faces.

"Why are you listening to them?" I shouted. "Two dumb GGs…they're lying, and even if they weren't, so what? I was trying to help you! I was trying to get them out of the way. And so was he!" 

I pointed to Onishima. Glaring at me, he snarled, "Don't bring me into it! All I wanted to do was catch a few rudies, okay?"

"You know, we're gonna have to work on the difference between 'catch a rudie,' and 'fuck a rudie,'" muttered a cop. 

"Oh, shut up!" Onishima fired his gun into the air. The shot rang in my ears. "Anyway, what are we waiting for? Nab'em all!"

"Yeah, come on, girls!" I said.

But I knew it was no good.

Dash threw down her knife and paint and said, "Give it a break, Kell. I'm not gonna smush the GGs now. At least they're not cheating."

"Yeah," said Shar. "Sorry, but you are so low."

Babs gave one look at me, then all the Love Shockers threw down their weapons, and walked away.

I stared at them, at the GGs, and the heat of anger boiled up inside me, and I stabbed out at Beat, caught him on the face, and then I ran.

I leapt onto the walkway rail, ground along until I reached the next set of stairs. I had to get out of here. Had to regroup. Had to try again.

I ground up the next banister. Piranha and Cube were up ahead. I wanted to hurt them both so bad, but I didn't have time. I could hear the other GGs coming up after me.

I ground past them – 

I felt paint hit my back. 

No. Not that.

I jumped off the rail, turned to face the two GGs. Piranha was holding a can of paint. So it was her.

"You'll pay for that," I said. You'll pay for that and everything you've done. 

"Oh, I'm so frightened." It was hard to believe Piranha had ever been that little drowned rat in the bus terminal. "Don't bother. I know you, and Cube's right. You are just a warped Kogane kid."

I looked from Piranha to Cube, who wasn't looking half as calm. "What's the matter, GG? Scared?"

"I'm not scared of you," Cube said.

"Well, you should be." I gripped my knife, and noticed she wasn't wearing her skates, but instead just normal shoes. I smirked. "You can't even skate."

Cube watched as I came closer, and I saw fury rise in her eyes…

__

"Get away from me!" 

I felt her fist hit my face, and I fell back, landing a few feet away. Jumping up, I snarled, "Big mistake."

But Cube wasn't taking that any more. "I don't fucking care! I have had it with you! You go around hurting and hitting and scaring people and I am sick of it! Come near me again and I'll break your face!" 

Wow. I had got to her at last. Unfortunately she'd picked just the wrong moment to get tough. Or the right moment, from her point of view.

I stared at her, wondering what to do next, but then, before I could think, I heard skates behind me, and more paint soaked through my shirt.

Turning, I saw that dumb kid Yo-Yo waving his paint can in triumph. I sliced across his face with the knife, then ran. 

I'd nearly reached the steps. I didn't know where I was going. I had to get out of here. Had to be safe. Had to – 

Garam caught me round the waist and I heard the hiss of paint again. I grabbed his wrist, twisted it, kicked him, smirked as his face contorted with pain – 

"That's for your sister," I hissed – 

– dashed up the steps.

This was the top balcony. I could get out of the main hall, maybe hide in one of the old corridors. But I had to do something quickly. I was starting to get tired. 

I ran to the door out of the hallway. My fingers scrabbled on the handle, damp with sweat. They reached me. Someone else tagged me, I turned, it was that boiler-suited hat guy. I stabbed down, hit his shoulder, wrenched at the door – and I was through.

I slammed the bolt across, and hurried down the corridor. It was quieter here. But I couldn't afford to relax. My hands shook. How many tags had I got now? Four. Well, that wasn't too bad. There was still hope.

I heard a crunch from the door, turned to see the bolt come out of the wall. The door flew open. Shit. I hurried down the corridor, my skates cutting through puddles of rain. 

There was the fire escape – I could get down that – just past this cupboard –

I turned it, and saw Mew and Gamma in the doorway. Blocking my way.

"You need another scar?" I yelled, stabbing out at Mew's face – she screamed – dodged under my arm – tagged – you bitch! I grabbed her shoulders, slammed her head against the cupboard. Her brown eyes closed, and I threw her onto the floor and ran for the roof, as Gamma bent over her.

The damn door wouldn't open – I rattled the handle – calm down – but I couldn't – the terror was rising – 

Combo reached me first. Tagged me again. My top was becoming soaked, and I could feel little rivulets of paint running down my back.

"Too scared to punch a lady?" I said.

"You ain't no lady." One huge hand held the door shut. 

Ever since I'd met him he'd been in my way – 

I stabbed him in the stomach, then wrenched the knife out. Blood started to run down his shirt.

The other GGs circled me. I felt my throat tighten with fear.

"You can't just box me in," I said. "It has to be a chase."

"You didn't play fair," Slate said, voice taut with rage. "Why should we?"

He tagged me. How many now? I couldn't get scared. I couldn't.

Combo dropped to his knees, and the door fell open. I seized my chance, and ran through it.

The roof was a flat concrete square. I stood, the air pushing me, and watched as Gum, Beat, and Cube dashed out after me. We stood watching each other. Faces, full of fury.

"Come on, GGs," I called. "I already put seven of you out of action. I can deal with you three."

"Like hell you can!" shouted Gum.

"You can't tag me." I said it calmly, and saw her wince inside. "You shouldn't be wearing those skates. You're an ex-rudie. How pitiful is that?"

She threw herself at me, grabbed my shirt. The paint already on there was smeared over my back, damp and sticky.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't break your face," Gum snarled.

"Don't bother," I said. "You're not a rudie. Even if you tagged me twenty times it wouldn't make any difference."

Gum's mouth dropped open as she realised that. "You sneaky little –"

"Temper, temper." I spoke sweetly, and saw her really lose it. 

_"Fuck you!" _

And she punched me.

I rolled back a few steps, then regained my balance, trying to ignore the pain, and stabbed out at Gum. Gum half-blocked it with her paint can, but part of it slit her arm. I hoped it was fatal.

"Come on," I said. "You scared?"

"Of a Love Shocker? In your dreams! You see this can? I'm gonna break your skull with it!"

"I'm so scared." I stood still, watched her. "Whatever you do to me you still won't be a rudie."

"I don't care. I don't have to be a rudie to kill you."

"No more skating." Step back, Kell. I stopped a few inches from the edge of the roof. "No more tagging. No more Jet Set Radio."

"I can do all that stuff now," she said, but there was uncertainty there.

"Yeah, because you're screwing the leader. We all know you're not a rudie really."

"At least I didn't screw Onishima! No rudie does that!"

"It worked, didn't it? The trouble with you GGs is you're weak."

"Yeah, right."

"You are! Everyone knows it. And you're the weakest of all. Strutting around in a mini skirt thinking you're as good as the guys. Oh, please."

Strike.

Gum charged towards me like an angry bull.

All I had to do was sidestep.

And over the edge she went.

"No!" Beat ran towards me.

I felt yet more paint hit my back as he passed me, leapt onto the fire escape, ground down it, called, "One for me and one for her…"

And now there was one GG left.

"Well, looks like it's just you and me," I said, walking towards Cube. "And I do believe you've got the last chance left to tag me."

Our eyes met. I could feel my hands shaking.

"Just so you realise what's at stake, if you fail I'll kill you."

I should have done earlier. Pay you back for all you did to me.

"Then I will go back down and find your friends. I will kill them too."

That's my wish. That's my right.

"The GGs will be kaput, and it'll be all your fault."

She didn't answer. Her earlier fury was gone. All that was left was fear.

I skated closer, closer, encircling her, seeing her tremble, and then – then I touched her back, and – 

She turned, tried to tag me, but it just spattered my arm. "Have to do better than that!" I called.

I stabbed again, she grabbed my wrist, I struggled, we were close again but this time there was nothing but rage, she bent my fingers back – she had the knife.

I stumbled back as she let go of me. She'd left marks on my wrist. 

She began to walk towards me, holding the knife like it was a friend.

"You wouldn't," I said.

Would you?

"And you can't."

Can you?

"I'm too fast for you."

Aren't I?

Behind me there was nothing but a drop. 

I remembered stabbing Shiro. 

"You won't do it," I said, trying not to notice the fury in her eyes. "You're weak…"

Aren't you?

" – you can't –"

Can you?

"I'm not weak," Cube said. "And I can."

I stopped walking.

She reached me. 

And I crumpled up all my fury, shot it down my arm, and put it into the hardest blow I'd ever given someone in my life.

As Cube reeled, I pushed her backwards, tried to grab the knife, she shoved me off, I scratched out, we rolled, over and over, nothing but a confusion of skin and concrete and hair and pain…

And then suddenly Cube was lying underneath me, head hanging over the edge of the roof. I looked down at my hand, and saw I'd got the knife back.

Sweet.

I looked down at her, and spoke nothing but the truth.

"I am sick of you."

I shoved her head back. Her throat shone white in the small-hour darkness. I stabbed down – she threw up an arm – too late I saw she was clutching a paint can in it – and cold liquid covered my skin for the tenth time.

No.

"You bitch," I hissed, and stabbed again.

She blocked the blade with her arm, I felt the knife scree down the bone…lots of blood now…she pushed me…I punched her…my damp fingers slipped off the knife. And it fell.

"Hope it didn't hit anyone," Cube said through a mouthful of red.

I stared down at her, my hands shook, and launched themselves at her throat – and I gripped it as hard as I could – her eyes bulged – not so pretty now – this was working – her hands struggled for air – a desperate cough choked out of her mouth – 

Someone grabbed my shoulders. I turned. Gum. Damn, she'd survived – I punched her, she dropped – Beat ran towards me, grabbed my wrists – 

It was Beat, right?

Someone shouted, "Too fast for you, was she?"

What did that mean? What was going on? Someone was holding onto me, I couldn't get out – 

"Get off me!" I screamed. "Get off me now!"

Was it Omega, holding on while the Noise Tanks and Sable Blades battled in Benten Square? No – no – 

"I knew you'd never beat us!" someone shouted.

The GGs, their voices cackling in my ears. No – that didn't seem right either…

"Just another Love Shocker, that's all you are!"

Hands cutting into my wrists. Combo, dragging me away from Coin in Grind City? No…Oh, god, what was going on?

A bitch!"

Not Alex…

"A slut!"

Not Chiyo…

"A dumb kid!"

Not Giga…

"Shut up! Please – please – I didn't – you did it – leave me alone – Please let go of me! Please!" The words tumbled from my lips like marbles. Who was it? I didn't know…faces stared at me in the darkness. Coming to get me…San…Data…Jin…Kris…

And I was free again. I stepped back, trying to see. 

"I'm sorry…" I whispered.

Shiro. No. 

His hands on me, touching, taking me away from myself…I tried to pull him off, but he was like a leech, sticking to me, staining me dark and horrible…

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…it wasn't my fault…"

Who was I talking to? I didn't know. Just if I said it enough, maybe they'd leave me alone…

"Whose was it, then?"

I knew that voice, but I couldn't see the face…it rang with accusation and hate.

"They started it! It hurt…it always hurts…" 

I didn't want to be me any more, I wanted to start again, be clean, remove all the dirt and the voices and the loathing…

"You're damn right it always hurts. You know what you did to me. I hate you. I hate you. I wish you were dead." 

But that was what I wanted to say…to Shiro…to everyone…

"You hate me?" I called. Please listen. Please. "That's what I wanted to say! But they wouldn't listen – I yelled at them – they wouldn't –"

"Me too."

No compromise. 

"Power. That's all you want. Don't worry about who you hurt. What you do."

No, I just want to be safe…

"I didn't mean it – I don't – I don't understand – Please don't hurt me –" Whoever you are, god, please, help me, someone…get me out of this life… 

"I want to scratch your eyes out."

I saw her come towards me, hand raised. 

No! Get away from me!

I ran. 

Only a few steps.

For suddenly – suddenly I was falling, falling down, down, down, as the darkness rose over my head and drowned me.

(Don't go anywhere! Like I said, one more chapter!)


	18. Epilogue

Chapter 18 – Epilogue

(Waiii! It's the last chapter! Okay. Koji Rokkaku's first name is © NoiseTank13, his last © Sega, but his character is mine and my brother's. Kell is also mine. The quotes at the end of this chapter are all by the people Kell says they are, none of them are mine. Please r+r!)

"Miss Fuyutsuri?"

No one had called me that for years.

"Are you awake?"

I tried to speak, but my mouth felt broken.

"Don't worry. You've had a bad accident, but everything will be okay. Everything will be okay."

"Laani, please…come on, you can make it…"

That voice. I know that voice.

"Come on…"

Move towards it. Yes, that's good. Funny, I don't feel tired or anything. What happened? An accident, he said. Where am I?

"Laani, quickly!" Urgency. I move faster.

Someone's catching at my foot, pulling me back. I struggle to break free, but they're holding on, and I can't…

"Laani! _You have to try!"_

I split, I fall, I'm being dragged back, but someone, some part of me is going on…

…they're happy, I can feel, warmth flooding over them, they've found what they were looking for…I look up, see the warmth and light, yes, that's good, but what about me?…

…No…

It's moving away from me. I'm going down, down, down, and suddenly there's pain, blurred, numb, but there nevertheless…

And then the light is gone.

I opened my eyes. 

Above me was a plain white ceiling, with a shiny fluorescent light on it. There was no dust on the light. The edge of the ceiling joined a white wall. 

The ceiling was not all white. The light turned it yellow, and near the edges it was almost grey. For some reason, I felt very proud that I could notice this. I didn't seem to have noticed things for ages. 

Footsteps. I tried to move, sit up, see who it was, but I couldn't. I didn't seem to have a body any more.

"Miss Fuyutsuri, you're awake at last."

"Who are you?" I said. My voice was painfully dry, and there was an odd feeling over one half of my mouth – a bit like a huge cold sore, but not itchy, just icy, numb.

"My name is Koji Rokkaku." He came into my view. Tall guy, with the whole tiger-like grace thing going. Dark hair, a neat moustache, warm, tanned skin.

"Rokkaku? Your dad…" I stopped. I'd watched his dad try and destroy the world. From where? With whom? I knew, I just didn't want to touch.

"Yes, my father had some regrettable tendencies," Koji said. "But I am confident I have not inherited them. Now, I expect you're wondering what's going on."

"I guess."

"What's the last thing you remember?"

I closed my eyes, and tried to put the pictures in my head into chronological order. It didn't work.

"I don't know…I remember lots of things, but I don't know which one comes first."

"That's only to be expected, I suppose. Well, you had an accident, as you may or may not recall…you fell off a roof, plummeting several stories. I had been monitoring you for some time for reasons of my own, and so when you fell I immediately had you picked up."

"Wasn't I dead?"

"Technically, yes. However, the Rokkaku conglomerate has access to the finest scientists this world has to offer, and one of the skills we can call upon is that of resurrection. If the body has only recently died…well, you yourself can see you are alive and well."

"But I can't remember," I said.

"You will. You have only just been – reanimated, let's say – so it is natural that your brain is a little confused."

I closed my eyes again, trying to make sense of all this. It wasn't easy. Who was I? What had happened? I knew – I knew so much – I just couldn't get my brain to co-operate.

"Why did you do this to me?" I asked.

Koji shrugged. "Let's just say I enjoy chess, and you could make an excellent queen."

I toyed with the sentence, but couldn't see its meaning.

"I think I'd like to sleep now," I said. "If that's all right."

"Certainly, Miss Fuyutsuri. I hope to speak to you again soon."

I awoke again.

And now I remembered it all.

I'd fallen off the Love Shocker HQ roof, because the GGs, my main rivals, had been chasing me, trying to tag me ten times, because they were trying to stop me being a rudie. I hated the GGs, especially Cube, because she stole Coin from me when we were in Grind City, on the coast of America, Garam, because he helped kill a girl I liked…whatever her name was, I'd work on that…Piranha, who had once been a Love Shocker and quit because she ran someone over, and Gum because she was a bitch. Now I was in the Rokkaku building in Shibuya-cho, in Tokyo-to, Japan, Asia, Earth, and I was alive again. 

Cool. 

I sat up, and right away I knew something was very, very wrong. 

I felt like a tank.

I looked down at my hands. They weren't flesh. Oh, my god. They were – they were metal – no fingernails, no peeling cuticles, no fortune-teller lines, no fingerprints – just these shiny steel things that were nothing to do with me.

"Miss Fuyutsuri?"

I turned. Koji was watching me.

"I think there's something you need to know."

"Damn right there is," I snarled. "What the fuck have you done to me?"

"You fell a great distance," he said. "You were severely damaged by that. We had to rebuild you the only way we can, at the present – cyborg technology."

"You're making this up," I said. "You're having me on."

"I assure you I am not."

He clicked his fingers, and someone wheeled in a full-length mirror.

"Miss Fuyutsuri, please take a look."

"No." I didn't want to see. If I did, I'd have to admit I'd turned into – into something horrible.

"Please. You have no other option."

Nervously, I opened my eyes, and turned to stare into the mirror.

And screamed.

So, I'd better give you another update. I am Kellaani Fuyutsuri, also known as Kelly, also known as Laani, also known as Lana, also known as Kell. I have pink, spiked hair which isn't mine, made out of the same stuff that Barbie's hair is. I have one brown eye and one bionic eye. My skin varies between tanned, and metal-plated. I have two regular arms, and four laden with weaponry. My fingers are bladed. My skates are rocket-powered. I am definitely no longer pretty.

I have hatred. I have envy. I have lust. I have strength. No fear. No happiness. No kindness. No love. I seem to have forgotten those ones. 

And I have been promised revenge.

Koji says he'll put me in stasis for the moment. He says when the time's right, he'll let me out, and I can go and kill all the GGs and everyone, just the way I want. 

That will be fun.

I didn't enjoy writing this. It was annoying, raking up all the pain. I don't think I should be feeling that stuff any more. I have to concentrate on revenge. 

_Revenge triumphs over death, love slights it, honour aspireth to it, grief flieth to it. _That's Francis Bacon, some English writer. Oh, yeah. Culture freak Koji practically fed a whole dictionary of quotations into my head. That I don't like. But then, my brain's been messed around with pretty much anyway. I can't quite remember what it was like to be the person I was before, so vulnerable…so loving…so dumb. 

_But love is blind, and lovers cannot see/ the pretty follies that themselves commit._

That's Shakespeare.

Most of these quotes are pretty annoying, but sometimes they suit my mood. 

Like this one. It's from another English guy, some children's poet. Alhberg, I think his name is.

__

Oh, children, don't be crueller than you need.

The faces that you spit on or ignore

Will get you in the end.

Oh, yes.

THE END

(Gasp…finally I've posted the last chapter of this…gasp! Well, first of all thank you to everyone who reviewed. Thank you thank you thank you! You all said lots of cool stuff, and that was really…uh, cool. Okay. Thanks also to Disk GIR for being helpful. Thanks to Noisetank13 for letting me borrow a bunch of names, and to JW for letting me borrow Kell's full name. Thanks to Nik for saying way back when I was starting DaO 'I think it would be cooler to make Kell not on Cube's side.' 

Also, anyone who's read Cyber GGs, the fic I'm co-writing with Nik (under his name) will know what's happened to Kell. Anyone who hasn't – go! Read! Review! 

So I think that's everything…so…that's all, folks!)


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